Evil Plane Seat Design

Pepper Mill saw this on the news last night, and was outraged. This online report is even madder than either the TV news or Pepper:

It’s not the rampant butt contact that gets me. It’s that if these seats recline (and how could they not?) things will get even more intimate between passengers.

I say we kip all this nickel-and-diming eating away of our personal space, and simply proceed to the ultimate “slave ship” packing:

http://www.fastcodesign.com/1670325/infographic-the-slave-ship-chart-that-kindled-the-abolitionist-movement

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I can’t imagine this will meet the time standards for evacuation.

Well I hope it’s just a crude representation of the concept of using that seat pattern. I doubt I could cram myself into one of those things as shown. Even with a little more space it looks impossible to get in or out of the seats off the aisle with other people sitting there. Why don’t they just have us stand and hang onto a strap? Or how about crouching in a spot so they can add a second story of seats? Or just morgue style trays that the w[del]aitresse[/del]s s[del]tewardesse[/del]s attendants slide in and out?

I could see advantages to this. Like if you start to nod off, your head isn’t going to be resting on the shoulder of the stranger sitting next to you.

Airline executive detected.

:smiley:

But you may well wake up with some stranger’s hand on your crotch.

Is it Friday night already?

Their pattern indicates two-dimensional thinking. Just imagine how we could fill the space by strapping half the passengers into their seats and turning them over, such that my face is now next to your shins. Efficient, and none of that bothersome eye contact that the author is complaining about. It also opens up a new revenue stream for the airlines by charging orientation fees.

I think I like it. It seems like it would keep larger people from flowing into my space.

Where they are to put whatever doesn’t fit in their own seat, I do not know, but at least their sweaty arms will not be pressed into me.

But their sweaty hands will be groping either your crotch or your butt. :dubious:
Why don’t they just stuff passengers into big mailing tubes and stack them like cordwood? That’s where we’re heading anyway.

Onion article linked in OP’s link.

I wouldn’t like these seats if I had to face backwards, because that makes me feel uncomfortable motion-wise even while travelling backwards on land, such as in a train or bus. Add that to the fact that I get incredibly motion-sick on airplanes, and it means that I probably wouldn’t be able to sit in a backwards-facing seat on a plane

Looks like you’ll be paying the $60 orientation fee.

Maybe they aren’t complete and utter assholes and they patented this idea just to make sure that nobody else could attempt it?

Ah, commercial flight. One of the vanishingly rare occasions in life I am thrilled to be short.

And yes, “Except you need a boost to reach the overhead bin!” ba-dum-bump!

As a former 100K a year business traveler, let me tell you what a woman traveling alone tries to avoid at all costs:

  1. Eye contact with men

  2. Touching men

There’s a sizable contingent of fellas who treat airline travel as a prime hookup opportunity. Just looking at diagrams of that seating configuration makes me break out in the cold sweat of a prey animal. If sweating were a thing prey animals did. Whatever. :wink:

All they need to do is segregate the passengers – all males on the port side, all females on the starboard side. That should cut down significantly on the butt-patting, crotch-grabbing, and pick-up artistry.

No, the only solution is to individually wrap each passenger in bubble-wrap before you slide them into their slots in the seating mosaic.

That’ll keep them from interfering with each other during the flight.
Make sure they wear adult diapers, first.

I don’t think I’d like to be in one of the backward-facing seats because I get motion sickness, but otherwise, I think the outrage about this is a bit over the top. It looks less cramped than current seating arrangements, and pretty much all of the things people are freaking out about (being in close physical proximity with strangers, not being able to get in / out of the middle seats unless the people on the aisles stand up first) are also true of the current configuration. The only thing that’s different about this is that you’ll also have to look at strangers, and most people manage to deal with that on trains and subways without excessive angst.

Do you want pooping or non-pooping?