Doesn’t “don’t ask, don’t tell” sort-of require acquiring a beard?
Oh, wait. Wrong kind of beard. My bad.
eek. Dolphin flashback. shudder
What’s with getting rid of tails? If we got to keep beards coz they don’t cause problems, why did we dump tails which could help in balance keeping flies away and if prehensile carrying the groceries. I think losing the tail was a bad move.
That’s just because we’re in an equilibrium period. When the next punctuated time comes around, we’ll see what’s what.
Hemophilia, maybe? (though I wouldn’t think the Navy would take hemophiliacs)
Matt, mon ami, it’s not the jaw you need to worry about. It’s how distensible your esophagus is.
Me, I could use a couple of extra arms and hands, especially when working on hardware.
I am not male, and not in the armed services. However, I think I recall a case where a black man had difficulty remaining clean-shaven due to the tendency of his beard hairs to become ingrown and then infected if not left to grow to a certain minimum length.
Actually, I’ve been pondering for a while doing something drastic about my facial hair. As far as I can tell, there are at least five options to get rid of it semi-permanently:
(1) Some kind of nair-esque cream
(2) Waxing
(3) Lasers
(4) Electrolysis
(5) Some little machine that spins around and yanks up all the hairs by the roots
Has anyone ever done any of them? Are they effective? Cheap?
I’ve heard, at least, that waxing isn’t a great solution for facial skin as it’s thinner and more delicate, and you’re liable to hurt yourself or at least seriously irritate your skin doing it.
I hate shaving too . . . if you find something that works, lemme know.
This is called a dull Norelco.
Evolution seems to be working for me. In just the last 20 years I’ve developed eyes in the back of my head, selective, focusable hearing, and the ability to eat…materials that are not commonly suited for human consumption.
I teach.
I want that one. I also want 4 or maybe 6 arms. Laser eyes would be cool, too.
Some things I wish evolution would get rid of: armpit and leg hair, wisdom teeth, the appendix.
I’ve always wanted a long, prehensile tail. It would be nice for scratching one’s back.
Mermaid fins might be fun, too.
I want gills. I love swimming under water, but find prolonged hypoxia to be uncomfortable. Plus it would be fun to say “I am…Aquaman!”
Don’t have much to add, but goddamn that was funny 
And, hmmm… I would like to need only one hour of sleep (or none) each night. There’s so many more fun and interesting things to do besides sleep.
If there were no such thing as razors, and women universally found the absence of facial hair to be more attractive, men would evolve to where we wouldn’t have to shave.
I, for one, would like to sweat cologne.
My rabbi in the Air Force (a year ago) didn’t have to shave all the way down to the skin, as Leviticius has a law against that.
Not if the human race evolved wings. Then you’d be begging for a car.
Doesn’t matter anyway, as most people select their beardedness artificially. I have known men who just couldn’t grow facial or chest hair, though.
And women with light moustaches that you can only see when you’re up close and personal. Talk about a moodkiller!
There’s a facial infection common in boot camp, especially among blacks (check out the “black people toiletries” section of your local super-pharmacy: there are products for facial bumps there, that’s what it is), which is highly exacerbated by shaving. Sometimes you can get a shaving waiver if you have excessive acne that won’t go away.
In contrast to Ea_calendula, I would like to be able to stay in REM sleep for 12 continuous hours a day.
Evolution … sucks …
Ewwww!!
REM sleep, yeah, I could go with that - but 12 hours :eek:
Tried that on my legs, and it hurt a fair amount. Then, shortly afterwards, I had to deal with a million and a half ingrown hairs. I really don’t recommend trying that on your face!
Waxing gives the same problem, and the Nair-esque creams really aren’t a long-term solution. The hair stays gone a little bit longer than with shaving, but not by much.
Why on earth are you having flashbacks to a dolphin penis?
Never mind. I just don’t want to know.
Don’t put yourself down.
I assume it is to make it easier to find a handsome man.
mmm…bald hubby. He has a great head. Too bad he doesn’t use it. 
btw, I hate men that wear hats to cover losing hair. It doesn’t fool anyone and generally makes me think they are less confident.