[QUOTE=Der Trihs]
Well, I want to be immortal, have an IQ of 500, full spectrum vision, organically generated carbon tubule muscles, monocrystalline diamond/titanium composite bones, chameleonic skin, an enhanced immune system, and laser eyes.
C’mon, evolution. I’m waiting . . .
[/QUOTE]
Some of us are naturally gifted. 
[QUOTE=caveat_lector]
Ok, this is a total slam on evolution.
One day, man won’t have to shave (I presume).
I mean, I’m not a naval officer and I wear cold weather clothes when needed.
Why do I need to shave every day?!?
[/QUOTE]
“Oh, boo fucking hoo. I have too much hair.”
Can someone clue me in as to the evolutionary advantage of male pattern baldness?
[QUOTE=tdn]
Can someone clue me in as to the evolutionary advantage of male pattern baldness?
[/QUOTE]
It’s just the first step in the development of our awesome mental powerz, which will of course require gigantic, bulbous, bald heads.
duh. 
[QUOTE=Lightray]
It’s just the first step in the development of our awesome mental powerz, which will of course require gigantic, bulbous, bald heads.
duh.
[/QUOTE]
I’m sending you a telepathic message as we speak.
[QUOTE=Monty]
Well, in the past US Naval officers were permitted beards. Today, however, they’re not unless they have a medical exemption.
[/QUOTE]
January 1st. 1985 they went bye-bye. And it wasn’t just for officers, either.
Me, I’d be happy if I could get some wings. Flying has got to be easier than driving to work aropund here lately.
Someone asked Isaac Asimov what he would change about women if he could. His first response was, “Move the breasts to the back to make dancing more fun.”
Only he could get away with saying that . . .
[QUOTE=Case Sensitive]
How about for religious reasons, for example Sikhs?
[/QUOTE]
Nope. AFAIK, we no longer have Sikhs serving in our Armed Forces. We did, though, have at least one serving back in 1983~1984. He was a student at DLI the same time I was. At that time, the US Army permitted Sikhs to wear beards and turbans.
Evolutionary Wish List
See in the dark
Breath underwater (and above)
Wings to fly (Angel like)
Thicker beard
[QUOTE=caveat_lector]
Ok, this is a total slam on evolution.
One day, man won’t have to shave (I presume).
[/QUOTE]
I know this isn’t GQ, but why do you presume this?
Unless having a beard is detrimental to reproductive success, there is no selection pressure for human males to lose facial hair.
[QUOTE=tdn]
I’m sending you a telepathic message as we speak.
[/QUOTE]
[QUOTE=tdn]
I’m sending you a telepathic message as we speak.
[/QUOTE]
If you’re sending a telepathic message… why speak?
If I could ask for a few quick evolutionary bonuses, I think I’d go for:
An immune system that’s better at detecting and killing pre-cancerous and cancerous cells.
Cartilage that’s better at repairing itself when injured. While we’re at it, nerve cells that can regenerate properly when injured.
Universal ability for both females and males to have multiple orgasms.
As far as this woman’s concerned, having a beard improves a male’s chances at reproductive success. I keep a constant selection pressure on my man to keep his face all sexy and fuzzy. Three cheers for secondary sex characteristics!
[QUOTE=Lightray]
[/QUOTE]
:eek: You didn’t have think that!
[QUOTE=Antigen]
If you’re sending a telepathic message… why speak?
[/QUOTE]
Hmm… (Scratching my well-groomed beard as I consider the question.)
Dammit, Lightray, I can answer on my own!
It’s like when someone sends you an e-mail, and then calls you to tell you they sent you an e-mail.
[QUOTE=Firebringer]
Evolutionary Wish List
See in the dark
Breath underwater (and above)
Wings to fly (Angel like)
Thicker beard
[/QUOTE]
Hmm… You want to become a beardy, flying ninja penguin?
I knew science was in trouble when kids started watching Pokémon “evolve”.
Watching this thread evolve its way out of the slime of the Pit into the clean air of MPSIMS would have made Darwin proud.
[QUOTE=Monty]
Well, in the past US Naval officers were permitted beards. Today, however, they’re not unless they have a medical exemption.
[/QUOTE]
What kind of medical condition would force compulsory beardage? Inquiring minds want to know.
[QUOTE=tdn]
I’m sending you a telepathic message as we speak.
[/QUOTE]
Sorry, it came to me by mistake!
[QUOTE=caveat_lector]
I mean come on, razors are EXPENSIVE! Have you seen the price of a four pack of Mach 3’s recently? Even at Costco where I buy in bulk I am paying out the wazoo!
[/QUOTE]
May I suggest Gillette Good News disposables? You can buy a 12 pack for about $7.50.
[QUOTE=davenportavenger]
What kind of medical condition would force compulsory beardage? Inquiring minds want to know.
[/QUOTE]
< Guess > Something that makes the chin too sensitive ? A facial wound perhaps ? A skin condition ? < Guess >
I would settle for a prehensile dong.