If evolution is true....

…then how do you explain Juggalos?

I dare any of you evolutionists to explain that one.

Granted, I really can’t fit them in with the idea of a loving, omnipotent Creator, either.

Fuckin’ Juggalos. How do they work?

There have always been evolutionary dead-ends.

Music goes in, tattoos come out, never a miscommunication. You can’t explain that!

I can’t explain Juggalos, because I don’t know what they are.

looks them up

Aha. I still can’t explain Juggalos.

They have evolved a complex set of digestive enzymes that allow them to digest and absorb the nutrients in Faygo.

It is similar to a study in the 80s where they took lactose intolerant E Coli and put them in lactose broth, eventually the bacteria evolved to live on lactose.

The Juggalo hand was perfectly designed to hold a Faygo cola. Checkmate, atheists!

Well, clearly Juggalos are proof of the existence of Satan (says the atheist who can’t explain Juggalos any other way).

Meh! In 15 years time they will all be washed, wage slaved and propping up suburbia.

Rebels without a clue

I’m thinking we should blame quantum mechanics for this and anything else that doesn’t make any sense.

There are still Deadheads, half a century later.

It’s parallel evolution, sort of like how bees and flowers evolved together in a mutually beneficial way. They need attention, and we need something to point and laugh at.

It’s all in Dawkins’ newest book, Climbing Mount Juggalo.

Who are the Grateful Dead and why do they keep following me?

But the universe is fine-tuned just for the existence of juggalos!

In the absence of cloning technology capable of creating an epsilon class, Mother Nature has stepped in and done the work for us.

That was a brave, new post.

Evolution is true? Did you just call my dad a monkey?

I fail to see how singing “rap” (is that what it is? Hip hop? I have no clue) about picking up dead bodies off the street and consuming them* has anything to do with the Grateful Dead.

*this is from what I VAGUELY remember hearing way back in high school when my younger sister was into this stuff. Something about eating dead people and pulling fingernails out of dead bodies and eating them and similarly disgusting stuff that made me wish she’d used her headphones.

I do know the FBI considers Juggalos to be a gang

There’s always a bell curve for a population. If you want a few really top individuals, then there’s a matching set of less useful people.