Evolving Wedding Bands: Yea or nay?

My wife and I recently went out to dinner with a couple who are friends of ours. They have been married 12 years. I noticed he had a really cool celtic wedding band on, it was big, hefty and masculine. It had a really cool celtic design on it, one I had not seen before. I commented on the ring and he said he just got a new one made. :dubious: I said, “but you already have a wedding band right?”

It was then that he and his wife went on to tell us that like their marriage is evolving, so should their wedding bands. They said that they were eons away from where they were when they first got married i.e. they couldn’t rub two pennies together when they first got hitched, and they had very modest wedding bands at the time of their marriage.
Now more than a decade later they are quite well off and have different interests, and their marriage has changed as well. They have a better understanding of one another, and they enjoy doing different things. So they decided to get different wedding bands. They didn’t renew their vows or anything like that, but they did design their own new wedding bands.

I thought it was a cool idea…my wife was slightly dubious because she believes whole heartedly in the sanctity of a band, and that the original band has more meaning than a later one. I agree to some extent, but people grow out of their rings all the time, and people also evolve, so do marriages.

So why keep the same band? What do you all think? Keep the original, or evolving the band with the marriage is a novel idea…not too bad

My husband and I got new rings when we renewed our vows for our tenth anniversary. I still wear my original band, it’s just on my right hand now. To me, it’s the commitment that matters, not the ring.

I’m a traditionalist and I love my band, so I can’t really see trading it in (it’s a very thin platinum band, simple). My mom, on the other hand, is on her third or fourth “wedding ring.” She had the standard gold band, which was put on her hand at the actual wedding to my dad. When I was about 10 or 11, she got a new gold band that was in the shape of a belt, with a little diamond belt buckle (this was in the 80s). Then, when she retired, she bought herself a huge fake diamond. I think she wears something different, now…I’ll have to look next time I see her. My mom is totally about fashion, though…it has nothing to do with their evolving marriage (something she’d probably roll her eyes at…she’s very practical and not too sentimental about that sort of stuff). My father has never, not once, worn a wedding band, although he does own a gold band.

My husband is such a traditionalist that he couldn’t bring himself to get a platinum band…he had to have yellow gold because that is, apparently, what wedding bands are supposed to look like. He has never taken it off, except for rugby games, and he about had a heart attack when I told him about my mom’s rings.

I could see having my band modified, but never wholey replaced.

I also had my ring custom made, it’s a claddah design inset into a wide band. I didn’t like traditional claddah rings as the “crown” catches on your trousers when you put your hand into your pocket. The jeweler owns the design, and made some very impressive improvements on the original design. I’ve thought about having my gold recast in his new mold, but can’t bring myself to inquire as to cost/time… I wouldn’t want to be without the ring… I don’t even like having to get it sized.

It looks something like this one. but in the words of my jeweler, “We’ll make it with less comical hands, and a proper irish crown, rather than the Windsor one here.” Mine was based off of a very similar sterling silver band that I picked up early in my relationship with Mrs. Butler at an Irish festival in MD.

I think the story in the OP is very cool. Just changing your wedding ring on a whim would be a bit tacky I think. But the way they did it, as a recognition of the growth and change in their lives and marriage I find to be really cool.

I’ve known plenty of older women who’ve upgraded their wedding rings, once they and/or their husband are more established in their careers, have more disposable income, and can afford something a little more flashy (especially if they married young and the initial ring was very modest). Heck, I’ve been married for not quite two years and my wife is already daydreaming about her next ring. :slight_smile:

I’d draw the line where the new ring would start looking like a fashion ring. The typical shape of a weddingband shows to the world that the wearer is out of the dating market.

Its a weddding band. I have three of them. The one I had when I got married, which is way too big at this point. A plain yellow gold one and a white gold one. My wife has two. The one with diamonds which we used when we got married and plain gold one for everyday use.

For me, its just a piece of jewelry.

I see nothing wrong with trading up, but I do agree that a wedding band should look like a wedding band.

And she’s properly mortified about that now, I imagine. :wink:

I sort of figure that I can’t get too attached to the sanctity of the band itself - I might lose it.

I wouldn’t bother to “evolve” it with the marriage - I’m not a jewelry person. But I think its an interesting idea.

My husband plans to buy us new rings some day. Ours are very simple–gold bands with 5 very small channel-set diamonds. He’d like to upgrade, but I told him I’d rather wait until a more significant anniversary. We’ll be at 13 years in May. Maybe at 15 or 20 years…

My mom’s had to be cut off when she was in a car accident a few years ago. Since they got married when they were 18, it was a very modest band, so my dad used it as an opportunity to buy her a nicer one the following Christmas.

I think it is kinda a cool idea. Not being married myself, I’m not sure my opinion counts, but I like their explanation.

A little over ten years ago my bride put a ring on my finger. A few days later the ring came off and ended up locked away in a chinese puzzle box*.

I don’t know why I’d need a new wedding ring when mine still looks brand new. :smiley:

*yes, I know how to open the box.

I’m on ring no. 3 (which is a duplicate of no.2, which is on the bottom of the ocean) - a titanium and yellow gold ring.
No. 1 was a triple-interlinked white/yellow/red gold band that didn’t fit so good after I started to …spread. Plus it was getting worn rather thin in spots from the links rubbing against each other. So I got a new ring, one that I liked as much as the first one even if it’s a completely different design sensibility.

I still have the first ring, though. I wear it like Frodo wears the One Ring, now and then.

My SILs have done this at least once. I see nothing wrong with it if that’s what trips your trigger.

I have an extremely modest set that was purchased when we didn’t have any money. I am sentimentally attached to it. I got an “upgrade” in the form of an anniversary ring. I’m quite pleased to wear both. The Husbandal Unit doesn’t wear a ring.

My husband lost his wedding ring after losing a great deal of weight. It had been getting looser, but not so much that we thought it would have to be resized. We were wrong, and noticed it missing after a day of hard, sweaty yard work. It had been a simple silver band, but we decided to replace it with a Celtic knot band, paying a little bit of homage to his heritage. I still have the plain silver band he gave me on our wedding day, as well as the engagement ring he inherited from his grandmother, but we’ve talked about my getting a matching Celtic knot band. If we do, I’ll wear the original on my right hand.

Ours are matching and extremely well suited to us. I think if one of us lost one, we would get a replica made.

My original band was a very plain traditional wedding band like this one. After having my son, neither it nor my engagement ring will go over my knuckles even though my weight was back to normal. I love those rings and they mean a lot to me. They are where I can see them every day.

For our anniversary one year he bought me this beautiful platinum, diamond and tsavorite ring at an estate jewelry store (Jewel of Orleans inside Disneyland). Now I wear that instead of my original band.

I wore my wedding ring until my hands started to swell when I was pregnant, then I put it back on until it got tight from weight gain. It’s been about 15 years now since I wore a wedding band, and I don’t think I want to go back to wearing one all the time - I don’t like the feeling of having a ring on all the time.

If I did I wouldn’t have a problem upgrading; as a matter of fact I mentioned the possibility to my husband a few years ago. I’ve always said that it isn’t the ring that makes you married. He apparently feels differently, since he absolutely refused to think about it. I don’t think he’s taken his off since our wedding. The rings we have were the absolute cheapest we could buy back in 1982, when he had no money. Mine was $26, I think his was $54, and it was a stretch to afford them.