This isn’t opinion, it’s real. I was friends witha guy for 8 years. (Both of us straight, and maybe considered best friends) so nothing weird going on. I was Best Man at his wedding, was there when his Dad died and he was there when my Dad died. My Mom loved him. His wife somehow got to him (I’ll explain in the Pit sometime) but the point is my Mom died of the same kind of cancer, so the animosity was put on hold. He still wants to kill me, but luckily he he isn’t the type, and the size dictates he won’t try anything. But a freak chance pitting us against each other at a Blackjack table broght out this conversation.
He: My wife told me your Mom died.
Me: Yeah. (2 weeks into grieving, no need to pour my heart out)
He: Anything we can do?
Me: Yeah, remember we’ve been friends for 8 years and try to remember I’d never do anything to ruin the friendship. Especially by doing anything to the woman you met in a town I drove you 200 miles to meet. She’s your wife, I can’t tell you why she wants to start problems.
(Thinks maybe I’m being played)
He: (trying to be civil, gotta give him that) Can we do anything?
Me: (Thinking yeah, put her on Ritalin so we can be friends again) My mom would prefer you donate to her favorite charity.
Did he? Don’t know, but I know he liked my Mom, and he was at least trying to show that he was paying attention to the charity I was telling him.
FWIW, as I write this I’m 30 y/o so I’m not talking about pre-teen concern. It’s a real life encounter, and I’ve heard he actually made a donation.
Sometimes, people will do the right thing even if they don’t like you. I hate to give him acknowledgement, but he seems to have done the right thing.
And if he lied about it, well…