Examples of inventions that seem like a good idea but turned out to be worthless

[BwanaBob]

@pulykamell

No. But I can start the car without taking the keys out of my pocket by pressing the button on the dash. I do not have remote start. My point was I can carry the kids and move them all about and get groceries in and out without worrying where my keys are or fumbling with them. This is the first car I’ve had that I can do this with, and it really does make a difference to me in terms of convenience. It took me a few days to get used to the whole starting the car without turning the key thing–and it was weird for about three or four days–but now I don’t think I can look back.

Okay, then we have the same thing. I agree it’s a great convenience to just push start the car.

[kaylasdad99]

@nearwildheaven

Don’t think I’ve ever seen those outside the restaurant I worked at when I was in college in the early 1990s, and we used them all the time, for ketchup, mustard, and other bottled condiments. Got two half-full bottles? Convert them into a single full bottle; that “presents” better than a partial bottle. That “spike” breaks the vacuum, and the whole thing is harder to knock over than two bottles placed mouth-to-mouth.

You could also use it for shampoo and other bottled liquid or thixotropic items.

One of my roommates, who also worked there, thought they looked like packaged douches. :o

(Thixotropic - something that is solid or semi-solid at rest, and reverts to the liquid phase when shaken up. Ketchup is probably the best-known example of this.)

Dang it, I just got used to calling ketchup a non-Newtonian fluid, and now I’ve gotta learn this one?

Thanks, Obama.

[Barbarian]

@enipla

I’ve got heated seats too. They warm up your butt a bit. Takes a good 5 minutes for them to heat up. I still have feet of snow in my yard on April 22. Still need 4x4 to get home.

Heated seats are absolutely no substitute for a warmed cabin when you are dealing with real winter.

I only have a few cm left in my front yard. Trust me, I know real winter.

[txobbin]

@UltraVires

IMHO, most of these seem absurd on their face. Like that device that you can put an egg or eggs into and it will cook them “seamlessly.”

I mean, how hard is it to put an egg into a frying pan?

Unfortunately, I can tell you…
Having recently come down with an aggressive form of Multiple Sclerosis, I now look upon those crazy commercials that makes things easy, like a sock aid kit and an Egglettes Egg Cooker, differently. I am going to get the sock aid kit, and can foresee the usefulness of the egg cooker.

[nearwildheaven]

@txobbin

Unfortunately, I can tell you…
Having recently come down with an aggressive form of Multiple Sclerosis, I now look upon those crazy commercials that makes things easy, like a sock aid kit and an Egglettes Egg Cooker, differently. I am going to get the sock aid kit, and can foresee the usefulness of the egg cooker.

Someone on another website said that she’d always thought that sock aids were a big joke, until she got into the 3rd trimester of pregnancy and found herself in need of one, if her husband wasn’t available. :o

As an offshoot of that “nostalgia” thread, remember in the early 1990s when midnight basketball was gonna save the world? :rolleyes:

[Lucas_Jackson]

@Procrustus

There was word on the street that scanning a QR code could infect your phone. From 2012:
.

2012!? Hi grandpa.
I use QR codes every single day. No infections. Livin’ In the current century.

[Lucas_Jackson]

@JohnT

I’m still going to go with the fucking car fob. Goddamned pieces of shit, I just hate the fuckers so much.

Seriously, they’re a result of capitalism run amok, the incessant need to fucking monetize everything. Because you know and I know that…

*… some worthless Fuckwit at GM or Toyota or Chrysler (well, not them) or Hyundai sat down upon entering the office, keys in hand. After saying “hello” to his coworkers, he tosses his keys on the desk… whereupon they capture his attention…

… hey! I have an idea which could make my career!

I have here a piece of metal which is mission critical to the functioning of a $30,000 piece of equipment… and we’re just giving them away! And, not only that, but when the consumer needs a replacement, they can just go to Home Depot and get another one for $1.25. That’s not fair! That’s our money, those are our keys!

Fuckwit quickly reserves a conference room, grabs all the other asswipes and douchenozzles working at Fuck-U-Motors, and says:

“We need to make our careers out of keys.”
“Keys?”
“What do you mean, Mr. Fuckwit, sir?”
“I’m all ears, boss.” <- This guy is the suckup douchenozzle mentioned earlier
“Not too sure that’s a great idea Jim…” Fuckwit shoots glaring daggers at Asswipe, “b-b-but I’m willing to listen!”

“So here is what we’re going to do. We have this simple piece of metal which costs $.02 to make, but we do not monetize it. What we are going to do is build, not just a new key, but a… how about a “Remote Keyless Entry System”, which will have the following characteristics:

1. It costs $189 to buy, added to the cost of the car
2. It costs $189 to replace, and can only be done by us
3. If we allow third-party vendors access to our key system, we’ll just ensure that $49 goes to us, as that’s our profit off these stupid pieces of shit
4. We can charge $89 for the battery
5. The operational parameters are:
   … You must be able to drive off with this “fob” thing in your wife’s purse
   … Gotta be big. Much bigger than a key. And heavier, too. If you sit on this thing, you’re gonna know it.
   … Battery has to run out! If the battery doesn’t run out, how do we monetize key batteries at $89 a fuckin’ pop?
   … Let’s make it so that… sometimes… the car doesn’t recognize the fob, requiring you to put your key in something called a “fob pocket”?

6. But, you know, you can unlock your car from a distance!
   

Well?”

They look at each other uncomfortably…

“Well, geez, Bob, that sounds swell and all… but, why? Why would anybody be happy with that?”

“Holy shit, you’re fucking stupid, Sean! You think our careers depend upon customer HAPPINESS, Sean? What’s this hippy-dippy, shit? No, dammit, we get measured by financial results, and I just came up with a plan which allows us to…” … runs some quick figures on a calculator… “… uh, 664k cars sold annually at an estimated additional revenue stream of about… say… $189 per new car on 600k cars, and $15 annualized for every older car (assuming 1 replacement over a 12 year lifespan)… allows us to take something we currently give away for free and turn it into a… let me see…

… a $150,000,000 revenue stream.

$150 million, Sean. Fuckin’ Ivy Leaguers. I thought y’all were good at math and shit.”

“You don’t have to be insulting, Bob. What’s the selling proposition on these things?”

“We’ll tell the rubes that it’s convenience, that it’s worth paying $189 for something that was once free because… shit, I don’t know… they don’t have to fumble for their keys at the grocery store? That’s why we have a marketing team, gang, but one thing I’m sure of?

They’re Americans. They’ll buy it. They buy everything.”

The room bursts into applause, and all of them receive promotions and bonuses for the next 10 years because… *

… because, sometimes, the worse design wins out, and this has nothing to do with improved functionality.

They’re convenient and they key keep you from locking your keys in the car. You may hate them. But they serve a function and have caught on. They don’t meet the criteria of the OP.

[Pabitel]

@MrDibble

Spoken like someone who doesn’t live somewhere where QR mobile payments are a thing. Iuse them on a near-daily basis. It’s how I pay at the convenience store, or at the farmer’s market, or for the pizza i had on Monday.

How is this not a security nightmare? :dubious: