Getting braces on my teeth. I had the old-fashioned bands-and-brackets kind (direct bonding of brackets to enamel wasn’t as common then as now, and my orthodontist insisted that my teeth were too maloccluded for direct bonding).
First, the orthodontist put all of the bands in place to be sure that he’s selected the right for each tooth. This involved pounding the bands down onto my back teeth. Those teeth had not yet fully erupted, so the bands cut into the gum surrounding the teeth.
Then, he pulled those bands - bands selected for their nice, tight fit - off.
Finally, he jammed those bands back on after coating each one with orthodontic cement, a substance apparently composed of equal parts sulfuric acid, brimstone, and fire ants. Remember those incompletely erupted teeth in back? The ones with the lacerated gums from step 1? Yeah, that hurt.
By the end of the process, I was lying there in the chair, weeping from the sheer agony of it, while the orthodontist’s assistant berated me for being a wimp.
Sounds about the same, except my tomb was WAY more awesome than yours.
I don’t know if I could handle an MRI. I used to know someone who had one, and she describes it pretty much like you do, except that her every nerve was on fire. Not fun.
Being prepped for minor surgery. It was a mole excision–he cut out a piece of skin about 2" long and 1/2" wide. I wasn’t worried at all going into it because I had had it done before by a dermatologist.
The first time, I said “sure, let’s take that puppy off!”, laid face-down on the exam table and felt nothing but tugging till he said “done!”
The second time was at the student health center. They laid me down on the operating table, draped the area (my stomach), then left me alone for 45 minutes while the doctor got good and ready.
Those 45 minutes were psychologically bad. I started to feel very defensive about my body.
Bastard took like half an hour to do the excision, too.
Yeah, that was the best part of going to the orthodontist as a teenager. All the technicians/assistants were female. Sometimes they’d lean in close and I could feel them breathe on me while their breasts brushed against my head.
For what it’s worth, most colonloscopy prep is just “a little uncomfortable” and only lasts a few hours. You just got, er, lucky?
Though I’d bet the same may be said of a lot of the experiences folks are listing here, including my own horrible childbirth experience (by comparison, my other delivery, c-section, epidural ALSO failed, was easier).
Yes, always. And I am so not happy when I see people shucking off shoes or sandals next to me on a plane. The last thing I want to do when crammed into a tight space next to a stranger is to be dealing with their smelly feet.
Sattua, that reminds me of when I had a caesarian. I was bright and cheerful, anticipating the imminent arrival of the kid, no qualms at all…until I was actually on the gurney being rolled away to the operating room. Suddenly I was absolutely terrified, with big tears silently rolling down my face. Apparently I really don’t want to die.
Being unemployed from August 2008-January 2009, which isn’t even a very long time. When I was in school, unemployment was like some fantasy. I wouldn’t have to do anything! I could watch TV all day! I could do whatever I want! Fuck no, it was awful. I can’t drive so unless I wanted to bus it everywhere I had to stay at home, and it wasn’t like I had any money to do anything outside the house anyway. I ended up getting addicted to The View and Ellen, invested more thought and energy into the 2008 American elections than many people who actually live in America probably did, and generally sat around feeling like crap.
The scariest part of this story is… I’ve just finished studying, so unless I get a job soon I’ll be going right back into it.
I remember how, in a western, if someone were shot in the gut, they would make a fuss about how it is a slow and agonizing death. I’ve seen it in more than one movie. The bad guy is gut-shot and the hero gives him a gun and one bullet - sure that the bad guy will use it to shoot himself rather than shoot the hero, because the pain is *that *bad.
I always figured I’d go for revenge and shoot the hero.
Then my stomach perforated. It was worse than anything I have ever have happen. Worse than anything I can imagine happening.
Having minor surgery on the inside of my nose, to improve my breathing.
In retrospect, my doctor did not at ALL prepare me for how bad the recovery process was going to be. He just kept saying it was easy and routine and would take 20 minutes. Yeah. 20 minutes for him. I actually thought I was going to go to work the next day! Instead my face was swollen up and I was in pretty severe pain for several days after the surgery. I was totally unprepared.
Tell me about it. As much as I hate having to get up and go to work some days, not having work to go to SUCKS BIG TIME. People who think the unemployed are lazy freeloaders must not have experienced any lengthy periods of unemployment.
I admit that sometimes I fantasize about being unemployed - I’ve worked continually since I left school; my job is high-stress (I’m a lawyer), I have a kid, and I feel like I never have any time to just chill - but if I was ever actually unemployed, I suspect I’d find out the hard way that it sucks.
Yes… the way that little tiny procedure upset me is the major reason that I am committed to doing everything in my power to NOT have a c-section. I think I’d throw up just from thinking about what was happening.
Other males of a certain age may echo me when I say
… The Finger!!
I’d heard guys joke about it, and figured it was just because it was a rather intimate contact with another man, and since I’m pretty unhomophobic and mellow in general about that kind of unprivacy, I was expecting just mild discomfort, like when the guy uses the tongue depressor or something. And even if it was painful, as long as it stops eventually, I’ve had some fairly painful procedures done.
Wow, was it so much worse than I imagined. It’s only slightly painful but very very horribly wrong in some way I can’t even describe. I mean, sure, I need to be healthy and all that, so I’m not quite at the stage of wondering how bad, really, prostate issues can be, but it’s definitely the part of the year I look forward to least.
Thanks guys, now I’m going to have another nightmare about it tonight I bet.
