Experiences with Online International Relationships?

[Ephemera]

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&postid=3424358

For those that don’t feel like reading the thread in its entirety, the relevant posts are quoted below:

Originally posted by Aesiron
**I have no knowledge when it comes to travel but I’m involved with someone online and she lives in the Philippines. We’ve discussed matters and we both want me to visit her next year in April and she and I both would like me to stay there as long as possible. To do that, I know I would need a passport and a visa but is that all? Can I even just move to another country for possibly months at a time? If not, how come? If so, how difficult would it be?

Please… be as exhaustive in your replies as you can. I’d like to know everything I can about how to make this happen. Thank you.**

Originally posted by Duckster
**Well, I detect an online international romance?

<hijack>
Are your eyes w i d e open? You have 11 months to seriously do your homework.
</hijack>

FWIW: I’m all for international online romances. Just be very aware of what that all means. Mrs. Duckster and I met online when I was in Australia (planning to return to the USA) and she back in the USA. But The Philippines has its own set of stories …**

Originally posted by Aesiron
**I’m well aware that it’ll take even more work than your typical relationship but I’m willing to work at it. My going there in the first place is the first step in that. If I don’t know anything about her or her culture, there’ll be next to no chance of it succeeding, right?

To highjack my own thread, do you have any suggestions or words of advice and/or caution?**

Originally posted by Duckster
**At this point you should open another thread since it’s no longer GQ. However, to get it started (you should answer in IMHO to solicit the same because I won’t respond here unless it’s GQ):

She - Philippines. Wants you to visit there.
He (That’s you) - USA. American.

Putting aside emotions and things personal: What do each of you bring to the table, based upon each other’s countries, cultures, economic prospects, potential for jobs, domestic tranquility, yadda, yadda?

If you cannot catch my drift, it is imperative you open a new thread in IMHO and ask for assistance. I do not wish to spoil your potential happiness, whatever, however, and wherever that may be.

Quoting Ben Franklin: “Keep your eyes w i d e o p e n before marriage; half shut afterwards.” The specifics may not apply here (yet), but the concept certainly does.

I honestly wish you luck. :)**

As you can see, I’ve gotten myself into a situation that I swore I never would be again after being in one failed (domestic) online relationship but I’m holding out hope that his one will not only work, but thrive.

As I said in the quoted material, I know that this will take a lot of work… even more so than your normal relationship due to the vast distance involved and the cultural differences but I’m willing to work at it. My going there is actually the first step in trying to make it happen… I don’t want this to be one of those online relationships where it takes forever for it to become a real-life one.

Anyway, does anyone have any experiences, either good or bad… successful or failed, they’d like to relate?

Thank you.

[Essured]

I don’t have experiences with online relationships, but I did meet a small group of male expats in the Philippines who had married Filipino women and settled down over there. I’m not saying for one second that I was privy to their inner feelings, but from what I saw and heard (I stayed in the area for two months) they all seemed to have happy marriages.

I wish you the best of luck and hope you get some helpful advice

[Primaflora]

I know a few Filipina women who are married to Australian men. My sister’s Sicilian in-laws are particularly fond of marrying them ::ahem:: this isn’t the pit so I won’t rant about very young women supporting their families back in the Philippines while married to much older men in Australia. Your situation sounds much more equal than that though

Culture and economic prospects – think about what her family situation is. Will there be an expectation that you send money back?If she comes to the US, what support is here for her? Are there other Filipinas where you live? Language? How good is her English?

[Ephemera]

Will there be an expectation that you send money back?

Are you asking if I’m expected to help support her? If so, I wouldn’t think so. We haven’t talked much about my family or hers but from what I understand, they’re well enough off. For example, she’s able to live at home and go to school with no job.

If she comes to the US, what support is there for her?

At this moment in time, that’s a bit off. We’re at the very beginning of the relationship and except for my going there to visit her, not much else has been discussed.

If all goes well, it’ll be up to her as to what we do though. If she wants to stay at home with her parents, I’ll be there with her and if she wants to move to the US, I’ll be there with her too. Only more happily.

Are there other Filipinas where you live?

None so far as I know. I live in a mid-sized town in Eastern Tennessee and its not exactly known as being the most cosmopolitan city.

How good is her English?

Equal to mine, easily. She’s also three years into a(n engineering) college degree if that means anything.