Explain "Sport" To Me

Friday, a few of my cow-orkers invited me to get in on some tickets for football (the Chargers, I think…San Diego.) No thanks, I don’t really follow football.

What? Are you some kind of…degenerate? Are you severely retarded, or lacking in basic intelligence, or what? You don’t like football? Everybody likes football. Even people who don’t like football would still buy tickets, just for the whole glory of the thing.

Or something.

So, what is it I’m missing out on? I just don’t get watching sport, particularly professional level where my involvement and interest is purely media-generated. I don’t know any of the players, I’m not going to know any of the players, I don’t care of any of the players have committed violent felony crimes, I JUST DON’T CARE.

I used to go to Brewers games with the Irish Girl (who had a ticket-share going on with her coworkers) and it was fine–a pleasent afternoon, to be followed by dinner and censored–but I’d have been just as happy on a picnic, or sailing, or bumming around. Of course, it wasn’t as if the Brewers were going to get a pennant, so there was never any real suspense or emotional investment, but even when there is, I just don’t get it.

So, sport fans, whatintheheck is it about sport that is so great?

Stranger

I’m the same way. I hear people talking about March Madness and I just roll my eyes.

I’ll be interested to read the replies here, too. My old man never watched anything but golf on TV. None of my friends were into sports. Nobody ever explained any of the rules of anything to me. I’ve never voluntarily watched a game of anything or played one… I have zero interest. I wouldn’t put anybody down who likes sports. But that’s not the reaction I’ve got many times in the past. It’s like I’m somehow not quite a man, as far as they’re concerned.

When I first started in radio, 30 years ago, they gave me the job of reading the 12:25 sports. It must have been comedy gold, or a series of genuine WTF moments for the audience. I didn’t have the slightest clue what I was talking about, and I didn’t know any of the jargon, or know how to pronounce some of the names of players. Why they wanted me to do this is something I’ve never been able to figure out.

I’ll add another “I don’t get it” to the pile. When I am invited to Super Bowl parties, I bring a book and my liver. No team spirit though.

I only watch one football game per season: The usual UCLA vs. USC battle, wherein my husband screams at the TV alot and then spends the rest of the evening sulking and whining. I usually have to ask my husband what is happening, though. All I know is at the end we always lose.

I’m with you. While I understand the basics of most sports (American, at least), I don’t give a flaming rat’s ass about any of them other than watching weekly highlight shows.

Do you watch movies or read books? What’s so great about that?

No, I’m bieng serious; watching a sport you follow and understand is much the same. To me, watching a baseball game is like watching a movie or reading a book; there is a story with a dramatic arc, a climax, with characters and events, backstories, the whole nine yards. The World Series is like an epic miniseries.

It’s the same appeal as ANY form of entertainment. I’m sure you watch movies or TV shows or plays, don’t you? Well, there you go.

Perhaps they were looking for your impartiality. You know, I’m told that a lot of the best sportswriters aren’t all that personally interested in sports; that quality helps them concentrate on the story instead of getting caught up in the emotions.

I don’t know what you want explained. I don’t care much about pro sports, but I really do love the college games; Auburn University teams in particular.

Hey! The men’s swimming and diving team just won their third consecutive national championship, the women swimmers finished second, narrowly missing their fourth consecutive championship, last fall the football team was undefeated and about an hour ago the Auburn baseball team beat Arkansas.

What’s to explain?

It’s great to be an Auburn Tiger!

:smiley:

Good point, Snooooopy. I never thought of it that way. Maybe you’re right!

I was the same way until about three years ago. I enjoyed watching the Winter Olympics, since I ski(ied); but team sports didn’t do anything for me. Football was especially perplexing to me. Everyone moves really fast for 10 or 12 seconds, then they stop an mill about. Then they line up and move fast for a few seconds, and then they stop and mill about some more. Then they go to a commercial, and when they come back the players are milling about. Then there’s a few seconds of activity… Real football has people actually using their feet to move the ball, and there are no breaks for 45 minutes!

But about three years ago, I looked at it from a different perspective. Instead of looking at it as a ‘game’, I looked at it as a series of strategic moves; sort of a ‘war game’ where different armies engaged in strategic battles. Then I began to appreciate it. I still don’t know enough to get into intelligent conversations about it, but I enjoy watching it now.

ISTR reading something by Carl Sagan. IIRC, his experience was like mine. He just didn’t see the appeal of football. Then he looked at the game from a different perspective and gained an appreciation for it.

I still haven’t warmed up to NASCAR though. In the real world, I don’t drive round in circles. In a sports car or on a motorcycle, I look for roads that bend both ways. I do like Gran Prix racing.

Sports is a diversion; it’s a way to lose yourself from your normal activities. In this sense, it’s like going to a concert, a play, or a movie, or reading an entertaining book. If you don’t like sports, it just means that you don’t find sports an interesting diversion, the same way some people don’t like movies or some don’t like to read. Why you don’t find sports interesting could be due to lots of reasons, including: (1) you don’t understand a sport well enough to be interested in it; or (2) you rather spend your time on on diversions that are more interesting to you.

Sports are like meeting a new person. You have to make an effort to get to know them before you can appreciate what a wonderful person they are. If you get to know them well enough you just might fall in love. Football, like most people, is very complicated, it has a lot of back story…if you know the history of a certain team you can understand the significance of the currant match up. Lets use super bowl # & # as an example. Denver Broncos quarter back John Elway was a great pro bowl player for many years. His teams frequently made the play offs and he will make the hall of fame, but he never won the Super Bowl. Late in his career the owner of the team fired the head coach Chuck Reeves and promoted the quarter back coach, Shanahan, to the head coach position. Elway went on to win 2 Super Bowls and retired at the top of his pro career. What a great story. I still get a little misty when I think about that story line and I am not a Denver fan. The actual play as it happens is not as interesting as the situations that played out to put the team and players in the position that they are currently in. It will be fun to watch what happens with the Manning brothers.

Oh yeah, it also helps if you know the (at least the basic) rules.

And quit asking dumb questions while I am trying to watch the game.

Dodgers Forever!

Yankees suck!

And the Angels are from Anaheim, not LA, and don’t anybody forget it!

Everything else is trivia. :smiley:

Part of the appeal to me of watching sports is watching someone play a game that I played as a kid at an incredibly higher level that I couldn’t acheive. I played (American) football was I was younger and I can really appreciate some of the more subtle things that the players do at the professional level. Same with baseball, basketball, golf, wrestling (greco-roman, not WWE) etc. It’s would be like if you were a painter, watching Picasso paint a painting beginning to end. You could appreciate all the subtle things he is doing to get the desired affect. I also think that’s why the Food Channel is as sucessful as it is. Almost everyone cooks a little bit and you get to see masters of their craft doing what they do best.

I agree with the diversion theory(mainly for the drama), but don’t discount the fact that for men, sports is the conversational coin of the realm. Not that it’s “right”, but if I’m in a position where I have to talk to some guy I’ve never talked to before, I have a reasonable expectation that I can throw some sports comment out there to get the conversation moving. A. hello B. some weather C. How 'bout dem Stillers n’at? D. conversation blossoms.

But then again, living in Pittsburgh, most of us live and breathe Steelers football year round.

There are also theories of “reflected glory” for the fans and comparisons to sport as the modern day religion. For further reading: The Meaning of Sport by Michael Mandelbaum.

I’ve been to 2 pro football games in my life. First was a Baltimore Colts game, and that’s just because my cousin was one of the cheerleaders - back in the old days when cheerleaders work pleated skirts and pullover sweaters. All I remember was the cold and the stink of cigars.

The second was an exhibition game in Jacksonville long before there were Jaguars. We had seats in the nosebleed section. At least it wasn’t cold, so I could enjoy the fresh air.

Each to his own, I suppose. I like watching America’s Cup - then again, I’m a sailor, so I watch it with a certain experience base. Back when I played intramural tennis, I loved watching tennis. I always had fun watching my daughter’s recreation and varsity meets/games (swim and softball) but overall, watching sports does nothing for me.

On the other hand, I can watch remodeling shows for hours! And when Norm Abrams goes to his router table, well, be still my heart! :smiley:

An important aspect of the conversational value of sports is that a huge amount of it is based on opinion and your opinion is just as good as anyone else’s if you can back it up. An average conversation between 2 guys about a movie or book or TV show goes like this:

“I saw Hitch on the weekend.”
“It’s OK but the best bits were in the ads.”
“Yeah.”

But a good sports controversy or a bonehead play in a vital game can consume groups of men for hours.

And if you really want to understand how sport fits in to our culture (Aussie in my case) just get involved with a kid’s sporting team and soak up the enthusiasm.

don’t ask makes a good point. Also every last one of us guys that like sports truly believes that we’re better coaches (managers, whatever) than those that really are coaches. Hence we can go on for ages about the coulda, shoulda, woulda’s.

Sports are time wasters, like soap operas and celebrity “news” shows.

That’s exactly the reaction I often get from homophobic males when they find out I don’t like football. “Wot? Ya done loik foody? What are some sorda poofta or somethin?”