I’m a little fuzzy about something from SW Ep II:
Did Darth Tyranis/Count Dokoo order the creation of the clone army and then create the situation where the Republic would be forced to use it and give Supreme Chancellor Palpatine absolute power? The idea being that once the Trade Federation’s crap-ass droid army is defeated, Palpatine now has an full-blown army to keep him in power so he can rule the galaxy?
Cause otherwise a lot of Episode II doesn’t make any sense.
Also, are Stormtroopers copy of copies of copies which is why they aren’t quite as sharp as the original?
I think you’ve got a handle on the situation. Former Jedi Count Dooku (or perhaps someone else working on orders from Palpatine) impersonated Jedi Master Sypho Dias to the Kamino cloners and ordered an army without permission. (Apparently, there are no credit checks in space.) Then the Count, who is secretly Darth Tyranus, started a secession movement among some of the more dissatisfied planetary systems of the Republic, starting with the systems under the control of the Trade Federation, who had been humiliated by their defeat in Episode I. The Separatist threat was then used by Palpatine to drum up support for the creation of an Army of the Republic, something the decentralized Republic had no want of or need for formerly. The Jedi were forced to give the Army their stamp of approval when Yoda used them to rescue the Jedi at the Battle of Geonosis.
Presumably, the Clone Wars (so named because of the extensive use of cloned troops) will be long and destructive, and the office of the Chancellor will be granted more and more power by a fearful Republic systems. Then, when the moment is right, Palpatine, who is actually in charge of both sides, will declare the war over and will be hailed as a hero. The crown will be offered him, a la Julius Caesar, and he will humbly accept. The Jedi, guardians of the Old Republic, will object and be declared enemies of the Empire, and the rest is history.
OK, no spoiler box, avert your virgin eyes.
-
Dooku/Darth Tyrannus is working for Sidious.
-
Dooku hired Jango fett
-
Jango Fett is the clone template
-
The Kaminoans think Jedi Master Sifo-Dyas ordered the clone army.
-
Sifo-Dyas died not long after the first movie.
-
Sidious/Palpatine is using the newly established Clone Army to take out the rebellious systems
So, in short, Syfo Dyas was killed or died some other way shortly after TPM (presumably Sidious was making new plans). Sidious or Tyrannus impersonated Sifo-Dyas to start the clone army and Tyrannus hired Jango. Its remotely possible that Sifo-Dyas was a new Sith disciple and was working for Sidious, before Tyrannus killed him or perhaps Jango did. Its also remotely possible that Sidious (as Palpatine) convinced Syfo-Dyas to order the clone army as a Jedi, thinking it was for the good.
Jango has some idea of what’s going on, and will be paid a huge fee for keeping the whole operation clean. Jango is also helping Sidious kill or scare off Amidala - so he uses the opportunity to seize more power in the Senate. Sidious has been crancking up taxes and breaking up the weakening Republic, and Tyrannus has been doing very good about merging the disparate disgruntled elements together into a powerful, technologically skilled faction. Case in point - after jerking around the Nemoidians in Ep 1 and screwing them over, they fall right into the lap of Tyrannus.
The Jedi are being led on a merrry chase, although they are closer to the truth that they realize; as in TPM, Obi Wan gets embroiled in the crisis and nearly saves the day. However, Sidious has covered his tracks too well, and the Jedi can hardly admit they’ve been fooled totally and didn’t have any idea about the clone army. After all, the Kaminoans have it in writing - Syfo-Dyas ordered the troops.
But Sidious is still the man in charge, and come Episode Three he will be putting his army and his influence to work, and become Emperor Palpatine. We’re guessing that he intends Anakin to truly become evil and kill Tyrannus and succeed him.
No, thats just a joke. The only real answer is: because the plot requires they miss a lot. They actual do show good aim when they are “allowed” to win.
In short, the goons can’t shoot the heroes… too much.
Yeah, I know. I still get a kick out of the thought that cloning might operate on the same rules as VHS recording 
As I said, my personal theory is that Palpatine takes over the cloning facilities, and the new generations of clones are either not trained as well or are somehow sabotaged to make them less intelligent.
Didn’t Multiplicity give us enough warning on the horrors of cloning? 
(I can picture a group of 4th generation Stormtroopers wandering through the desert, interrogating tumbleweeds and shooting up the odd sand dune in their search for a pair of missing droids.)
A cautionary note:
From what I gather, the Clone Wars are gonna be history by the time Episode III: Gimme Yer Dough hits the silver screen. I’ve heard (or read, or seen in a vision, or something) that… The Cartoon Network? Anyway, some cable channel or another will air an animated miniseries sometime before the release of Ep3, covering the details of the Clone Wars.
I’d hit starwars.com for a more authoritative cite (or refutation), but I just can’t work up the enthusiasm. Ever since Greedo shot first, my love of the franchise has been slowly sliding into a sand pit.
FWIW
I heard about the cartooned Clone Wars as well, but I don’t think that means the entire war would be over by the time the third movie comes out.
Of course, the way they talked about it in the first movie, I always figured the Clone Wars was something that took a couple hundred years, so who knows?
Also, haven’t there been enough stories and what not about stormtroopers to clue in to the fact that they are NOT clones? It’s always been my understanding that after the clone wars, clones were pretty much made illegal, and that with it’s sheer size and populace, the Empire just simply gathered soldiers from the millions of planets it controlled. I mean, what would be the point of cloning troops when you could just subjugate an entire planet’s population to join the military? Seems really stupid, and I’ve seen nothing supporting the idea that the stormtroopers of the final three Star Wars flicks and everything else are clones at all.
Any connection between Sypho Dias and Sidious? The names are eerily similar sounding.
do you have any droids?!!
do you have any droids?!!
do you have any droids?!!
do you have any droids?!!
do you have any droids?!!
do you have any droids?!!
do you have any droids?!!
do you have any droids?!!
do you have any droids?!!
do you have any droids?!!
do you have any droids?!!
do you have any droids?!!
YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!
El Elvis Rojo, you make a valid point. A million clones seems like a drop in the bucket compared to what a galactic empire should be able to field with voluntary conscription, let alone a draft.
Although the Empire does seem to be a homosapiens-only club so who knows.