Okay. So, there are already a couple Star Wars threads in this Forum, but none with the same purpose as this one.
Episodes I Through III.
All Non-Geeks, this is your last chance to exit this thread. You have been warned.
Before the next Star Wars movie comes out, on May 19th, I need to brush up on what has happened thus far. This thread is meant to be used as a communal primer on where Star Wars currently stands, for those Star Wars fans among us, and to help us prepare for Episode III: Revenge Of The Sith. Frankly, I’m a little confused, so I need to put this in writing in order to understand it. And, please correct me where I stray from the truth, or need further information.
Episode I: The Phantom Menace.
We open up over Naboo. Some Trade Federation ships are cutting off Naboo’s trade in an embargo…why, again?
Two Jedi’s are sent from the Galatic Senate to negotiate the end of the embargo. Instead of negotiating, the Jedis are almost killed, and a full invasion of Naboo is begun…why, again?
The Jedis make it to the surface of Naboo, and hitch a ride with a denizen of Naboo (don’t make me name “it”) to a relatively safe hiding place - a city under the water.
The Jedis and team are on an official cruiser, make it off Naboo, and past the Trade Federation ships. They sort of crash land on Tatooine, needing a spare part to fix the ship.
Meanwhile, Princess Amidala of Naboo travels with Lord Palapatine to the Senate to plead help in ending the embargo against Naboo. Something (?) forces a vote of confidence, and Lord Palapatine wins, I think.
The Jedis run into a promising young lad who has a vast inner reservoir of tiny cells that constitute The Force (don’t make me name “it”). They decide to help this lad win his freedom from slavery, and in turn, they get to leave Tatooine with the lad.
Another memory lapse.
The denizens are fighting the Trade Federation robots. Princess Amidala’s castle is under attack. The Jedis are fighting a very powerful Sith. The young promising lad destroys a Trade Federation ship.
The robots are defeated.
The castle is saved.
One Jedi dies, with the Sith.
The lad survives and is taken under the supervision of the surviving Jedi.
Lord Palapatine is in full power of the Senate…how, again?
Episode II: Attack Of The Clones.
The two Jedis meet Senator Amidala again, years later, while on security detail for her on Coruscant. There is some high-speed chase diversion. A clue is left behind - a poison dart that only certain professional Bounty Hunters, from certain locations in the Galaxy, use. The Jedis split. One Jedi follows the clue to the location of a secret planet that is shielded from view. The other Jedi, uh, well, he hangs around and hits on Senator Amidala.
Lord Palapatine is still in charge. There is some talk of some planets that are rebelling against the newly powerful Senate.
The first Jedi finds the hidden planet, only to realize that it is a clone factory, spitting out hundreds of thousands of clones, all of the same man - Jango Fett, and his clone son, Boba Fett.
Big fight on the landing platform. Jango and Boba get away. Some chase scene through an asteroid belt.
Another memory lapse.
The Jedis and Senator Amidala end up on a planet. They survive through a robot factory. They are then captured and put into an arena, to be fed to some pretty vicious creatures. At the last minute, a thousand Jedis come swarming in. Big slaughter. Jango Fett dies, but Boba survives. The Clone Wars start immediately outside the gates of the arena.
The Clone Wars is a war between the clones from the hidden planet (eh?) and a bunch of robots (eh, again?).
Some mastermind guy, Lord Dooku, who we just met, is apparently behind all of this - both the clones and the robots. In a battle, he disables one Jedi, cuts off the arm of the other, and manages to escape from being defeated by Yoda.
Lord Palapatine (aka Emperor), who is in cahoots with Lord Dooku, takes the initiative to recognize this as evidently push-back from the planets that are rebelling. To nip it in the bud, he assembles the Republic under a fleet of ships, and takes off to “persuade” them back into the Republic.
Episode III: Revenge Of The Sith.
Here is how Slate describes the upcoming Star Wars movie:
Who is General Grievous?
Lucas has a lot of ground to cover in Episode III. Too bad he wasted so much time with Episode I.