Exploding Birds

I’m referring to the question that was first
published in May of 1997, about whether rice
shouldn’t be thrown at weddings because
birds exploded when they ate it. Cecil
seems to think that’s hogwash, and I agree.
I remember from my sister’s first wedding
that we threw birdseed instead of rice
because the church didn’t want to waste the
rice when so many people in the world are
hungry. That may seem a bit bleeding-heart
to many, but that was the church’s policy.
I can supply the name of the church if
anyone wants to verify this.

the Scarlet Pimpernel

Please also always post a link to the column being discussed. Here it is:
Thanks, Jill

Please supply the name of the church. I would like to verify this.

(Joke) :slight_smile:

Please tell us what was thrown at your sister’s second and subsequent weddings, too.

Jill: I’ll tell you what was thrown at my niece’s (only) wedding! Nothing. The crowd blew bubbles with those little bubble-blowing toys you get for the kids. Not only did it not leave any rice or birdseed around, it looks a lot cooler in the photos!

Why the hell would anyone want to throw bird food at newlyweds? Would it be romantic if I flung a few dog biscuits at them? A chew toy? Grub?

Plain and simple, folks, Church ministers don’t want to be sweeping up rice on the front steps. That’s why more and more throwing anything seems to be forbidden.

I’m guessing ministers started the urban legend that rice explodes birds.

Now, there is some rationale that bits of dried rice or bird seed on the ground is an invitation to a broken hip and law suit.

Me, I says, “Stop blindly repeating outdated and idiotic traditions for no good reason.”

I have a cousin who claims he could cause birds to explode by giving them bread that had been spiked with crystal Drano. Presumably, one could do the same with a rice ball.

Chip–Just think of those poor birds who must have died from slipping off the tree branches covered in soap from the bubbles! And what about all those tiny bubble wands lying around! If I ever get married, I think I’ll stick to the Middle Eastern method of celebrating–just fire a couple of rounds off into the sky. At least that way there won’t be any lingering doubts about possible environmental damage; I’ll know damn well who or what I killed just by checking the paper the next day!

Like the whole concept of a ceremonialized wedding…?

Me, moriah:


Nope, I was referring to intercourse and procreation.