One thing has been overlooked–most weddings are performed on Saturday mornings/early afternoons. Birds #2 all over the sidewalks whilst consuming rice. Church-goers track #2 all over inside of church attending 5PM/7PM Saturday evening service(s). Sexton can’t get carpet shampooed Sat nite after 7PM service. Sunday morning, church carpet looks like used baby diaper. Clergy start spreading exploding bird rumor to keep carpet cleaning expenses down. Too cynical? Too clever/devious for clergy to invent? You decide.
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Now to topic: I don’t think that the clergy are that devious about something as trivial as bird poop on the sidewalk. Getting donations, sure, they’re crafty as the dickens, but not cleanin’ up the sidewalks. At least, I don’t think so. I like the thought, though. The Machiavellian clergy
I remember an old geological engineer mentioned his early days in the Welsh coal mining industry. The miners would sit up top eating their lunch. they still had the calcium-carbide powered lamps. They would break off a small chunk, wrap it in bread, and throw it up in the air. Seagulls would grab this treat in midair, fly away, and then explode a minute later when the stomach liquids hit the calcium carbide.
Since birds typically regurgitate food to feed their young, I have trouble imagining that they would have trouble relieving stomach pressure on demand unless it were massive and sudden (like the welsh example). I have heard the story of cows who get into the dry oats needing an immediate pressure-relief stomach opening as the oats get wet and swell; but cows also reurgitate their cude for rechewing, so that too is likely an urban legend? Rural legend?
I’ve heard/read someplace that farmers would stick an icepick into a cows stomach to relieve gas pressure.
Sounds like an urban legend to me. But then, I’m not a farmer!
Is there any truth to this?
If it were true that rice would kill birds, wouldn’t we have used it as a safer form of pesticide? The efforts that we have gone to to rid ourselves of pigeons around buildings and statues and other places could have long been avoided by just feeding them rice. I think someone would have figured that out a long time ago if this were true.
I don’t think slowly exploding pigeons from the inside would be considered either humane or effective as a form of pest control. Who wants a bunch of ruptured pigeons lying around to clean up?
How have I not noticed a poster called burpo the wonder mutt? I know this is an old thread but that is a fantastic name.
15-20 years after the original column, so I guess there’s been some changes to wedding customs since then.
Our minister didn’t want confetti (which was popular when I was a child) because it’s difficult to clean up. Didn’t want rice because it feeds the rats. Must have missed the butterfly thing: we had bubbles.
Well, I’ve never seen a pigeon explode. And a lot of people feed them rice, both in Thailand and in nearby countries. (We feed the family on our balcony nice, nutritious store-bought seed.)
bolding mine…that’s another 
Seriously, thanks for the tip.