Joint pain sounds like it’s no fun. I’ve twisted my back before and cried like a baby. I can’t imagine feeling like that all the time.
Diarhhea. I get it maybe twice a year, and it’s never “out of the blue”. Chronic stomach/digestion problems in general sound terrible, and I’m sorry for anyone who has them.
Migraines. Wow, this one actually terrifies me. I have no idea how you people live through pain like that. I can’t remember my last headache. I just don’t get them, except the silly-in-comparison sinus headaches everyone gets during cold season.
Food allergies. A friend of mine can’t eat onions, or it’s hospital time. Another friend can’t eat beef unless she’s prepared to spend the next day with her face in a bucket. How can people be allergic to FOOD? Some people can’t have ice cream, or milk, or nuts. I’d be miserable!
Sex stuff. There’s legitimate medicine all over the place to help people have sex. For every legitimate product, there are hundreds more that don’t work. It seems so amazingly easy to me, but there’s a big enough market for these products that I’m finally starting to believe that people actually do have problems with just having sex.
So I guess all I’m trying to say is thank you, universe, for making me as healthy as anyone can realistically expect to be. I’ve never lived through any real pain though, so nature just might have created a big, giant sissy.
Me? I have no allergies. No migraines. Never broken a bone and, in fact, have never had to go to the hospital at all with the exception of a lung complication at my birth (but that doesn’t count because I was already there). I have a good metabolism so I eat what I want and am coordinated enough to play most sports and do most things well enough that I never feel clumsy. I feel pretty lucky, too. Just wish I was taller.
Youthful Indiscretions. No longer eligible; I’m left with midlife indiscretions.
Conceit. I hate myself too much for that.
Blind Ambition I never figured out what I wanted to do with my life, and I’d been taught I could fail at anything I put my mind to.
A Need To Kick Other People’s Asses. I’m a big guy, and fairly quick. If I had been driven to prove myself a badass, I might have had a list of lawsuits, jail time, and injuries to ordinary people I had no good reason to harm. I’m lucky.
Gambling Addiction. Putting down a lot of my own money on the turn of a card holds no thrill for me, fortunately.
Glasses or any corrective eyewear. My girlfriend is blind as Ray Charles without something corrective and the costs associated with glasses and contacts and whatnot are astronomical.
PMS & expensive birth control pills- My girlfriend deals with some bullshit insurance and a prescription that needs to be filled monthly ('cause it’d be too easy to have a few months worth).
Depression, issues with eating or weight, problems with conception, pregnancy, delivery, difficult family/friends, old grudges and hurts. My life is pretty boring.
Any disease that requires daily medication. I hate swallowing pills and forget to do so anyway - last time I brought a bottle of multivitamins they lasted about two years. I have a friend who needs to give herself insulin injections and I seriously think I could not physically do so - I’d have to have someone do it for me.
PMS. So so so glad I don’t have that. While undergoing treatment for another issue, my doctor put me on estrogen. I think I lasted three days–I’d never had PMS and to be perfectly honest I thought it was sort of an excuse.
My deepest apologies to all women who do suffer from PMS for thinking you were making it up or exaggerating.
Three days of estrogen was enough for me to get a taste of what PMS is like. NO THANK YOU. As I told my doctor, I’d rather have the original issues that brought me into his office than feel like that for one more moment.
[ul]
[li]Hangovers- since I don’t drink I’ve never had to deal with this self-inflicted ailment.[/li][li]Influenza- I’ve had some nasty colds, but I’ve never gotten the flu.[/li][li]Food allergies- I don’t have any that I know of.[/li][/ul]
