Eye surgery jokes / music needed!

Going in for cataract surgery a week from tomorrow, finally!! (now-fired doc kept putting it off for no good reason, finally went to someone else).

And as always when I’m terrified, I like to have a few topical jokes handy - distracts ME, if nothing else.

I could reuse one colonoscopy joke but any others would be appreciated (especially as I’m having the other one done 4 weeks later).

And music to listen to on my iPod beforehand… or if the drugs are good enough, to “sing” afterward. A couple of obvious ones would be
I Can See Clearly Now
Blinded by the Light

Doctor My Eyes (Jackson Browne)

Blue Eyes-Elton John
Hungry Eyes-Eric Carmen
Blue Eyes Crying In The Rain-Willie Nelson
Private Eyes-Hall and Oates

She Blinded Me With Science-Thomas Dolby
The First Cut Is The Deepest-Sheryl Crow
Blinded By The Light-Manfred Mann
I’m Looking Through You-The Beatles

Pink Cataract by Bruce Springsteen

Wishing you the luck of the Iris!

No need to be terrified. My wife just had hers done. The surgery itself is about 10 minutes. They had her on I-don’t-care IV, and everything was numb. She’s thrilled with her new outlook on life.

I Only Have Eyes for You, by the Flamingos
Behind Blue Eyes by The Who
Windy (“Windy Has Stormy Eyes”) by the Association

Open My Eyes
Ebony Eyes

Are your eyes angry?
Angry Eyes

Any song by Donnie Iris (such as “Ah! Leah!”) would be appropriate. :smiley:

Also:

Suite: Judy Blue Eyes, by Crosby, Stills and Nash

“Brain Stew” by Green Day. Oh, you know!

“My eyes feel like they’re gonna bleed…”

Seriously though, good luck on your surgery!

Van Morrison, Brown Eyed Girl.

Oh, great. My cataract surgery is in four hours and the earworm has already started. I can see clearly now …

There’s the national anthem (“O say, can you see?”), but then you’d have to stand up.

What A Wonderful World by Louis Armstrong:
“I see trees of green, red roses too” and a whole lot more.

Everybody Say Eye.
Are these jokes bad enough, or do you need them cornier?

Eye in the Sky is a pretty and pretty mellow song.

Bette Davis Eyes is pretty jiggy (though I hope you don’t end up with BD eyes :stuck_out_tongue: ).

Very best of luck, and tell us how you do when* [del] the pus clears up and the dizzy spells go away [/del] you’re feeling up to it.

  • COMPLETELY KIDDING. I know many people who have had it done and all, bar none, have said it’s a snap.

Hey Mama. Glad you’re moving forward with this. We discussed this a lot in my thread about my surgery.

It IS very fast and pain free. It is the most common surgery in the USA. They have got it figured out.