F***-buddies: share your histories and opinions.

By fuck-buddies, of course, I mean two persons who are regular sexual partners but knowingly and mutually disavow monogamy and the other typical trappings of a romantic relationship.

Multiple responses allowed; specific responses kept private for reasons left as an exercise for the class. Poll closes on 8 December 2009.

It’s pretty much the best situation a young man can find himself in, IME. Have done it, would do it again.

I got to answer both “crash and burn” and “still friends” so I’ve seen the extremes on both ends.

It’s really a very good arrangement when you are not looking for any type of emotional attachment.

Me too.

It was a very bad idea when it was an ex for whom I still had feelings.

It was a great idea when it was a friend who was also single, but we didn’t have strong romantic feelings for each other.

I find the key is upfront communication. Everyone clearly communicates their wants and needs and as long as everyone is agreeable (This isn’t exclusive, we must practice safe sex, and don’t even call me tomorrow), I’m all for it.

I just started a “fuck buddy” relationship about a month ago. It’s new territory for me. Steering clear of romance was her idea entirely. She insists we’re not dating, we’re just having sex. And going out to dinner. And museums. And seeing each other once a week. And talking on the phone at least every other day, if not more often. Frankly, I think she’s a little unclear on what exactly constitutes a “fuck buddy” relationship. But the sex is fantastic, so I’m not complaining.

I currently have a friend with benefits, my preferred term. One of the options I voted for was the “still friends” option because we both acknowledge our arrangement will be coming to an end soon but we do genuinely enjoy each other’s nonsexual company. I also would do it again in the future should the circumstances lead more towards a fuck buddy relationship than into a more committed relationship.

And besides, I’m young, so all I should have is fuck buddies. :wink:

I was friends with my FB first, then we became FBs, then I got a boyfriend, then I broke up with boyfriend and resumed being FBs, then he got a girlfriend, and somewhere in the middle of him having a girlfriend, I met someone and got married. We are still friends, and I plan on visiting him along with the rest of my friends and family when I go back home later this month.

Word. Just don’t. It sounds like she is just enjoying your company, and your sex and your time. No emotional turmoil, no encroaching on her freedom, checking up on her whereabouts, asking questions every time she shows interest in another man. No annoying strings. Enjoy.

I’ve suggested being friends with benefits to two of my female friends and then both turned down the idea. The one of my friends that I hooked up with thought I was trying to start a relationship with her a month before graduation and my attempt to tell her that I was not interested in anything beyond her body end up with us not talking in 3 years.

I would love to have a fuck buddy but apparently I can’t figure out of to proposition my friends correctly. Either that or I need to get more attractive and hang out with looser people.

I’d be willing to be money it’s coming, though. But I’m all bitter and burned so hopefully I’m wrong.

Does it count if I thought she was an FB, but she thought she was in a relationship?

See, that’s where the communication comes in!

I have never had one. I am not adverse to the idea, but am also open to a committed relationship with the right woman.

I think you’re doing it wrong and I’m only half joking.

I think the normal course of action is that you meet a new and attractive person and begin dating them. Dating usually involves sex but has the presupposition of becoming more serious if the two of you get along well enough. The last part is where the track diverges for fuck buddies. You do your dating with them at first, have the normal sexual activity, but along the way realize you’re not interested in going serious with this person, so you communicate your thoughts and desires.

Hell, even you don’t speak with this person after ending the dating relationship, you can still attempt to make booty calls. “Hey, haven’t talked to you in a while a and I was wondering what you were up to tonight?”

There are obviously other avenues you can take, but I think this method is probably the most common.

We need an “I feel very guilty” smiley.

She got her own back though, by dating a model-hot guy that I worked with, then years later bumping into me and saying “sorry I didn’t recognise you because you’re so fat now”.

Sorry man, but that was a sick burn. Gotta give credit where it’s due.

Man-hug (Definition two)?

I have had several (why is that not an option in the poll?) but would never do it again, primarily because I’m married now. Not to any of the FB’s, by the way.

They’re great. We’d booty call each other, enjoy making the flippy-floppy, then part with a kiss, no strings. My first one was when I was in college and she was a professor there; we met in line outside a club one night. It was the most “Penthouse Forum”-worthy night of my life.

You forgot a category: “Yes, I have several” :smiley:

Life is good.