Yes. Yes, I am.
Ok, I’ve always seen friends with benefits defined as a friend that you started to hook up with but didn’t get into a relationship. I’ve never thought about turning the person I’m dating into a fuck buddy. Although when I move home after this business trip I was planning on the booty call with the ex I dumped when I moved out of state.
I don’t think the booty call counts towards friends with benefits because I think you actually have to hang out nonsexually to check of the buddy box. By the way you’ve probably ruined my next relationship since I’m going to try to turn it into a friends with benefits thing.
Yes, I think the key really is that you agree you make a horrible couple but the sex is so damned good for both of you that it would be a shame to do away with all together. Rather than ‘Hey we’re good friends but I’ve really just been biding my time until you trusted me enough to have sex with me. Let’s try it, and if it’s horrible for you we’ll never speak again.’
Sometimes you’re actual friends with benefits, sometimes you have completely separate lives and you’re just reliable booty calls for one another (at least until one of you gets into a relationship). Ideally neither of you has lingering romantic feelings for the other or illusions about where the casual sex will lead.
I went with “Hey, I’m bored and horney want to go hook up?”
See, I just don’t see this happening. It’s like in Seinfeld, contemplating the mythical roommate dating switch. Nice to dream about but impossible to pull off.
Fuck buddies usually come from one of three places. 1) A longtime friend who you proposition because you’re both lonely/horny. 2) An ex you proposition who says yes because being with you in any capacity seems better than not being with you at all. 3) Someone you’ve recently met who you say “I’m not looking for anything. Ya cool with that?”
But I just don’t see a situation where you start dating someone, have sex with them a few times, and then say “yeaaaaah…about this relationship thing. You’re not the one. But I’d still like to do you anyway. What do you say?”
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Is usually the state of affairs for me. Either we’ve been dating but agree that we’re only physically attracted to each other and nothing else, or a one night stand who’s worth another few shots.
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Would be nice, by my exes have a tendency to marry within half a year of breaking up. I choose not to see any correlation… :rolleyes:
You can’t imagine two people dating, then realizing it’s not going to go anywhere except sexual? Interesting.
If you word it like a jackass then of course it’s not going to happen.
This is a good summation:
I do think there is room for some experimentation here though.
Oredigger is already paving the way for us to all try and discover the method with the highest expected value. Shall we all meet again in six months to discuss our results and conclusions?
Wait…when people date they have sex before discussing what they hope to get out of the arrangement?
I’ve always been under the assumption that a guy who fucks a girl and then tells her he doesn’t want a relationship, where as that might be what she was hoping for is…well, an asshole. I’d feel like an asshole, anyway.
I guess that’s why I’ve never gotten laid, I’ve been too concerned about people’s feelings or their impressions of me.
I pretty much agree with this. To me, a fuck buddy is someone you sometimes have sex with, but otherwise there’s nothing there. (see the Sex and the City episode, The Fuck Buddy for great exposition on this) A friend with benefits is someone you are friends with, hang out socially, sometimes have sex with but are not in a relationship with.
As to the poll, I have had both fuck buddies and FWB’s and would not be averse to such again. One FB I hooked up with off and on for a good five years. It was awesome, we were completely sexually compatible but neither of us had interest in a relationship.
Umm…who propositioned who? I have a number of female friends, but I’m fairly confident that if I asked any of them if they wanted to fuck, I’d be down a friend.
Seems like a situation where it’s infinitely more acceptable for the woman to bring it up. If the guy brings it up he’s either a pervert, or an asshole who’s clearly had an ulterior motive for the duration of the friendship.
Jeez, let’s see how this post gets misconstrued.
You don’t have sex with them then say, “Oh by the way, I only want to have sex with you.”
It’s a mutual decision that you both come together (heh) on. You two acknowledge the lack of compatibility for any kind of long-term serious boyfriend/girlfriend relationship, but the sex is good (or satisfactory) so you both also acknolwedge you won’t be stopping that.
To quote Cat Fight again with his/her perfect summation:
Who is next in line to misunderstand me? 
EDIT:
God damn, no wonder some of you don’t have any fuckbuddies or friends with benefits, you’re going about totally wrong.
OK, what’s the right way to go about it?
If you’re friends with someone and want to become FWBs, you have two options:
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Ask them.
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Make a move.
Either of which will likely get you slapped, or dropped as a friend.
Me too. Or rather, I’m about to have several. I’ve been bored with my current FB, so as of this week, I’m starting to take a couple of former FBs up on their offers to resume arrangements.
You forgot internet shopping.
Here is how it probably happens most of the time.
Yall decide to go out to bar or something. Both of you get drunk. It’s late. Yall head back to the closest crib to sober up and hang out on the couch. One thing leads to another.
If there’s no apologies, shouts of “damn, what the FUCK happened?!”, or desperate requests to forget what happened the next morning, then this is evidence that a FWB thing is feasible with this person. To keep it going requires communication. Some mutual aknowledgement that 1) sex was had, 2) it wasn’t a mistake, and 3) encore performances are welcome. And also, and this important, you’re not looking for a relationship.
FYI, this approach is a bad idea if you sense she wants more from you that you can give, or you want more from her than she can give. In other words, don’t try this unless you’re 100% yall view each the same way.
I asked him.
There was no drunken night of abandonment. We were friends for some time, I kind of felt the situation out, and then asked if he wanted to shag. I already knew everything I needed to know: we got along, he found me physically attractive and he didn’t want a serious relationship. Good enough for me. I can’t tell you how to “feel things out.” Okay, I probably can, but it’s a lengthy conversation that I’m not about to have in this thread.
Well you’ve basically given me the answer I needed to hear: it’s not gonna happen unless a girl brings it up.
For me it sounds like a great thing, but didn’t work out. I communicated up front that I did not want a relationship and didn’t want to be treated like I was in one. He agreed and said he wanted the same and then tried to act like my boyfriend.
::sigh::
I had an ex who I remained friends with and occasionally booty-called for about half a year, until she found a proper boyfriend. Don’t really hang out with her anymore, but that’s more a social-circles and physical-distance kinda thing.
I voted Yes: I once had a fuck-buddy and would do it again., with the caveat that I would do it again if I weren’t married. But I’m married, so there you go.
I’ve had one, and it was great. She actually had an online personal ad up looking for a FB. Seems I was the only one that answered her ad with more than one line and I didn’t include a penis shot. She is a dirty little vixen. mmmmm… Even though we’d established that it would be sex and fun and little else, she enjoyed the way my eyes would bug out in horror when she’d suggest we get married or run off to Mexico. I’m still 98% sure she was kidding.
We no longer boff since she wants to settle down now, but we still talk and get together from time to time. I helped her move from her ex’s apartment and she went with me when I had to put one of my cats down. I know a relationship wouldn’t work because we’re not THAT compatible, dirty habits notwithstanding 