“If I get out of this alive, I’m never getting on a fucking plane again” – Carole Lombard, Glenn Miller, The Big Bopper, Buddy Holly, Otis Redding and John Denver (various dates in history)
“Fuck the photographer…drive faster!”
Princess Diana, Paris tunnel.
“Ah, fuck it. Who cares if Serena wins or Venus wins, either way I am one RICH mutha-fuckin’ pimp daddy!”
Richard Williams, Wimbledon 2002
The sad thing is, beckwall’s quote could be true.
“Fucking hemorroids!” - Napoleon Bonaparte, Waterloo, 1815
“Can’t anyone in this house hang a fucking picture straight?” - Jesse James, 1882
“Aces and eights! Some fucker beat that hand!” - Wild Bill Hickock, 1876
“Fuck, but it’s hot this high up!” - Icarus
“Red, Sonny, I gotta take a fuckin’ dump. I’ll be on the throne if anybody needs me.” - Elvis Presley, Graceland, 1977
“Wash my hands? Fuck that!” - Typhoid Mary, various dates and locations
“Fire the anti-comet laser NOW or we’re all fucking doomed!!” - dinosaurs 65,000,000 BC
“Here’s your beef, now shut the fuck up.” - McDonald’s Marketing Department 1984
“What the fuck does that asterisk mean?” - Cell phone customer 2 minutes after signing contract
“Fuck that!” - Large Southwest Airlines Passenger 2002
“It’s the fucking truth!” - Robert Blake 2001
“What the fuck do you mean he cancelled the election citing national security concerns?” Al Gore 2004
“Fucking Ozzy’s here?” - Queen Elizabeth
“Now who the fuck is this for?” - Ozzy
“No more lasagna? Fuck it, then, I’ll take the ham sandwich.” --Mama Cass
Where the fuck am I? - Leonard Shelby, Jan 23, 2001
Where the fuck am I? - Leonard Shelby, Jan 22, 2001
Where the fuck am I? - Leonard Shelby, Jan 21, 2001
Where the fuck am I? - Leonard Shelby, Jan 20, 2001
Where the fuck am I? - Leonard Shelby, Jan 19, 2001
Where the fuck am I? - Leonard Shelby, Jan 18, 2001
Where the fuck am I? - Leonard Shelby, Jan 17, 2001
Where…etc, etc…
“I want to be the fucking president!” -Al Gore, in November of 2000
“I am so fucking glad I’m not the president!” -Al Gore, on September 11, 2001
I don’t fucking get it—me, to every joke I ever heard.
That’s fucking stupid—me, to every piece of good advice I ever heard.
I’ll always have a fucking job—me, again.
“We fucked up.” – Stonewall Jackson’s division, 1862
“Let’s get this fucking thing airborne.” – Lyndon Johnson, November 22, 1963
“Get in the fucking boat.” – George Washington, December 24, 1775
“You’re not fucking paying me? I ran a fucking needle into my fucking finger, you fucks!” – Betsy Ross, 1776
“Fuck the torpedoes! Full speed ahead!” – 
“Oh my fucking god!” – Some anchor person, whose face was not on screen, September 11, 2001
“Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a fuck.” – Clark Gable as Rhett Butler
Fuck Carthage. -Cato the Elder
Carthage is fucked. - L. Cornelius Scipio Aemilianus.
We’re FUCKED! - Anonymous Carthagenian
“Fuck yeah, I’ll tell you anything you want to know!” – Elia Kazan, 1956
“A fucking janitor. Un-fucking-believable.” – John Dean, 1972
“Fuck off!” – Martha Stewart, 2002
“I said BREAK the fucking thing!” – Dollie Madison, 1812 (Obscure reference. Supposedly, when the Presidential Mansion – not yet called the White House – was being evacuated during the War of 1912, Dollie Madison had a footman break the frame on the Gainsborough portrait of George Washington so she could roll up the canvas and take it with her.)
“Don’t read the whole fucking thing, just fucking sign it!” – Stalin to Roosevelt at Yalta, 1945
“Fuck you very much, suh.” – Robert E. Lee, Appomattox, 1865
“Whaddya doing with that fucking cement?” – Jimmy Hoffa, 1975
Or simply, “Ohhhhhhhh…FUUUUUUUUCK!!”
“Dad, you old fuck. Put down the gun. You don’t have the fucking balls to use it.” Marvin Gaye’s last words to his father
“Marvin, here’s the last 45 you’ll ever hear.” his father’s last words to him
<bad taste>
“I fucking freed WHO???” Lincoln, coming off a 3 day bender
</bad taste>
“Hit the fuckin’ NAIL, not my fuckin’ fingers!”-Jesus Fuckin’ Christ
“There must be a fuckin’ BILLION of 'em up there!”-Carl Sagan, gazing at the night sky as a child
“Fuck the Constitution!”-various politicians and pundits
“Throw the fuckers out!”-voters (at times)
“Fuck Helen!”-Trojan pacifists
“Fuckin’ critics!”-Rush (the BAND, not the fat fuck)
“Fuckin’ Rush!”-critics
“Fuckin’ Rush!”-liberals
“Fuckin’ liberals!”-Rush (the fat fuck, not the band)
“Honey, come here! This is fuckin’ politics at it’s best!”-me to Mrs. Smegma during the press conference about W.'s butthole and inner workings
“Fuck the pigs!”-protesters in Chicago, 1968
“Fuckin’ hippies!”-Mayor Daly (sp?) and Chicago police, 1968
“Whafuck?”-Chicago Tribune after printing “Dewey beats Truman” headline
“There’s a fuckin’ surprise.”-Seattle sports fans after one of the teams chokes in the playoffs (again)
“Fuckin’ Commies!”-Nixon early in his career
“Aw, the Chinese aren’t so fuckin’ bad.”-Nixon, about to be run out of D.C. on a rail
“Fuck personal integrity!”-Newt Gingrich
“Fuck personal integrity!”-Bill Clinton
“Fuck you! Fuck you in the ass with a big rubber dick!”-me to just about any US politician you can name
“d00d, it’s fuckin’ kewl!”-Bill Gates on the release of Internet Explorer
“Fuck you and all the nasty fun you can have with your naughty little genitals!”-Queen Victoria
“Fuck critical thinking! Moral absolutes (mine, of course) MUST be taught in schools!”-Phyllis Schlafley
“Quit your fuckin’ whining!”-US Senate to atheists
“Well fuckin’ EXCUUUUUSE MEEE!”-atheists to US Senate
“You can leave the fuckin’ country!”-Sen. R. Byrd to atheists
“You can lick my fuckin’ balls!”-this atheist to Sen. R. Byrdshit
“Ah, fuck it.”-M. Curie to herself when wondering if there were any health hazards to radioactive substances
“Marie! Your fuckin’ nipples are glowing!”-Mr. Curie, several weeks after the preceeding
“Fuckin’ faggots!”-Fred Phelps
“Phuck Phred Phelps!..Well, on second thought…”-gays sick of the “Fags burn in Hell” campaign of this wingnut
and finally…
“Just pick a fuckin’ door!!”-Monty Hall on “Let’s Make a Deal”
“Hit the fuckin’ NAIL, not my fuckin’ fingers!”-Jesus Fuckin’ Christ
“There must be a fuckin’ BILLION of 'em up there!”-Carl Sagan, gazing at the night sky as a child
“Fuck the Constitution!”-various politicians and pundits
“Throw the fuckers out!”-voters (at times)
“Fuck Helen!”-Trojan pacifists
“Fuckin’ critics!”-Rush (the BAND, not the fat fuck)
“Fuckin’ Rush!”-critics
“Fuckin’ Rush!”-liberals
“Fuckin’ liberals!”-Rush (the fat fuck, not the band)
“Honey, come here! This is fuckin’ politics at it’s best!”-me to Mrs. Smegma during the press conference about W.'s butthole and inner workings
“Fuck the pigs!”-protesters in Chicago, 1968
“Fuckin’ hippies!”-Mayor Daly (sp?) and Chicago police, 1968
“Whafuck?”-Chicago Tribune after printing “Dewey beats Truman” headline
“There’s a fuckin’ surprise.”-Seattle sports fans after one of the teams chokes in the playoffs (again)
“Fuckin’ Commies!”-Nixon early in his career
“Aw, the Chinese aren’t so fuckin’ bad.”-Nixon, about to be run out of D.C. on a rail
“Fuck personal integrity!”-Newt Gingrich
“Fuck personal integrity!”-Bill Clinton
“Fuck you! Fuck you in the ass with a big rubber dick!”-me to just about any US politician you can name
“d00d, it’s fuckin’ kewl!”-Bill Gates on the release of Internet Explorer
“Fuck you and all the nasty fun you can have with your naughty little genitals!”-Queen Victoria
“Fuck critical thinking! Moral absolutes (mine, of course) MUST be taught in schools!”-Phyllis Schlafley
“Quit your fuckin’ whining!”-US Senate to atheists
“Well fuckin’ EXCUUUUUSE MEEE!”-atheists to US Senate
“You can leave the fuckin’ country!”-Sen. R. Byrd to atheists
“You can lick my fuckin’ balls!”-this atheist to Sen. R. Byrdshit
“Ah, fuck it.”-M. Curie to herself when wondering if there were any health hazards to radioactive substances
“Marie! Your fuckin’ nipples are glowing!”-Mr. Curie, several weeks after the preceeding
“Fuckin’ faggots!”-Fred Phelps
“Phuck Phred Phelps!..Well, on second thought…”-gays sick of the “Fags burn in Hell” campaign of this wingnut
and finally…
“Just pick a fuckin’ door!!”-Monty Hall on “Let’s Make a Deal”
Fuckin’ hamsters!