Fabric softner sheets do everything but cure cancer?

A friend sent me this e-mail about Bounce, the fabric softner sheet. From a quick read I gather it does everything except cure cancer. So how much of this is a load of hooey?

It will chase ants away when you lay a sheet near them.
It also repels mice… spread them around foundation areas, or in trailers or cars that are sitting and it keeps mice from entering your vehicle.
It takes the odor out of books and photo albums that don’t get opened too often.
Repels mosquitoes. Tie a sheet of Bounce through a belt loop when outdoors during mosquito season.
Eliminates static electricity from your television (or computer screen.
Since Bounce is designed to help eliminate static cling, wipe your television screen with a used sheet of Bounce to keep dust from resettling.
Dissolve soap scum from shower doors. Clean with a sheet of Bounce.
Freshen the air in your home. Place an individual sheet of Bounce in a drawer or hang in the closet.
Put Bounce sheet in vacuum cleaner.
Prevent thread from tangling. Run a threaded needle through sheet of Bounce before beginning to sew.
Prevent musty suitcases. Place an individual sheet of Bounce inside empty luggage before storing. Freshen the air in your car. Place a sheet of Bounce under the front seat.
Clean baked-on foods from a cooking pan. Put a sheet in a pan, fill with water, let sit overnight, and sponge clean. The anti-static agent apparently weakens the bond between the food.
Eliminate odors in wastebaskets. Place a sheet of Bounce at the bottom of the wastebasket.
Collect cat hair. Rubbing the area with a sheet of Bounce will magnetically attract all the loose hairs.
Eliminate static electricity from venetian blinds. Wipe the blinds with a sheet of Bounce to prevent dust from resettling.
Wipe up sawdust from drilling or sand papering. A used sheet of Bounce will collect sawdust like a tack cloth.
Eliminate odors in dirty laundry. Place an individual sheet of Bounce at the bottom of a laundry bag or hamper.
Deodorize shoes or sneakers. Place a sheet of Bounce in your shoes or sneakers overnight.
Golfers put a Bounce sheet in their back pocket to keep the bees away.
Put a Bounce sheet in your sleeping bag and tent before folding and storing them. Keeps them smelling fresh.

This looks like a job for Snopes! At least for the skeeter repellent.

Those uses appear in a book, *Easy Does It: Cheap and Simple Ways to Solve Common Household Problems * by the Editors of FC&A Publishing. Many of the suggestions there are excellent, and I have applied them. I have used fabric softener sheet to clean and shine my faucets, as suggested. Works well.

BTW, re the Snopes link, Skin-So-Soft is good to repel gnats, not mosquitoes.

If you eat Bounce fabric softener sheets, will your grumpies come out soft and smell good?

It’s always nice to squeeze out good grumpies!

The list sure looks impressive, but here’s a categorized version. Many of the items are just minor variations of each other.

IT HAS PERFUME

It takes the odor out of books and photo albums that don’t get opened too often.
Freshen the air in your home. Place an individual sheet of Bounce in a drawer or hang in the closet.
Put Bounce sheet in vacuum cleaner.
Prevent musty suitcases. Place an individual sheet of Bounce inside empty luggage before storing. Freshen the air in your car. Place a sheet of Bounce under the front seat.
Eliminate odors in wastebaskets. Place a sheet of Bounce at the bottom of the wastebasket.
Eliminate odors in dirty laundry. Place an individual sheet of Bounce at the bottom of a laundry bag or hamper.
Deodorize shoes or sneakers. Place a sheet of Bounce in your shoes or sneakers overnight.
Put a Bounce sheet in your sleeping bag and tent before folding and storing them. Keeps them smelling fresh.
IT HAS ICKY CHEMICALS

It will chase ants away when you lay a sheet near them.
It also repels mice… spread them around foundation areas, or in trailers or cars that are sitting and it keeps mice from entering your vehicle.
Repels mosquitoes. Tie a sheet of Bounce through a belt loop when outdoors during mosquito season.
Golfers put a Bounce sheet in their back pocket to keep the bees away.
IT’S A CLOTH SATURATED WITH SAID ICKY CHEMICALS

Collect cat hair. Rubbing the area with a sheet of Bounce will magnetically attract all the loose hairs.
Wipe up sawdust from drilling or sand papering. A used sheet of Bounce will collect sawdust like a tack cloth.
IT’S ANTI-STATIC

Eliminates static electricity from your television (or computer screen.
Since Bounce is designed to help eliminate static cling, wipe your television screen with a used sheet of Bounce to keep dust from resettling. [this is essentially a dupe of the previous item]
Eliminate static electricity from venetian blinds. Wipe the blinds with a sheet of Bounce to prevent dust from resettling.
OTHER

Dissolve soap scum from shower doors. Clean with a sheet of Bounce.
Prevent thread from tangling. Run a threaded needle through sheet of Bounce before beginning to sew.
Clean baked-on foods from a cooking pan. Put a sheet in a pan, fill with water, let sit overnight, and sponge clean. The anti-static agent apparently weakens the bond between the food.

In addition to mice and mosquitoes, they repell me.

I can believe that even a mosquito would be driven off by that nasty cheap odor.