I get angry at something major around me. Now I see some minor annoyance and unleash something probably undeserving on it, why does that make me feel better?
Of course I always end up feeling bad about blowing up at the annoyance, but why does it make the initial anger at the more deserving problem go away?
I hope it has an answer it is something that has bugged me for a while. Is it a brain malfunction or just a personal malfunction? Did my little problem blowup release some chemical in my brain that soothed the initial problem chemically?
In psychological terms it’s called transference, and it’s extremely common, especially in those who tend to repress their feelings, or in situations where you cannot properly express those feelings towards the real object of your ire, such as a child to a parent. Anger doesn’t go away easily without some sort of outlet, and oftentimes it doesn’t really matter emotionally what that outlet is – if it is deserving of even the slightest bit of anger you will often overreact in order to release the pent up aggression and frustration that you were unable to express before.
Oops – I should point out that transference is applied to a number of unrequited emotional responses, not just anger, but the same principles apply.
Also, (IANAPsychologist) I think the “feeling better” part comes more from the release the act gives you than from the act itself. If anything the act will probably make you feel remorse afterwards for overreacting to a situation that clearly did not deserve it.
Anger is a survival mechanism designed to deal with threats - one thing that results is a rush of adrenaline to the body, increased heart rate etc - fight or flight stuff. We also get a strong emotional response.
Basically we can trick ourselves into thinking we’ve dealt with a threat even if it wasnt the threat that originally caused the arousal, and relief occurs as the physical and emotional responses relating to anger stop occurring and we feel safer.
If you do a google on physiology of anger you can find more detailed responses on the actual chemicals involved with an anger response.
Besides the psychological issues, there are physical ones, too.
In physical terms, your body reacts to anger by releasing adrenalin, in anticipation of a physical response to whatever is making you angry/fearful (the “fight or flight” response). Your body is tense and stressed by this. When you blow up, you probably take some strenous physical activity (yelling & screaming, pounding on the table, kicking the dog, etc.), that uses up these body chemicals. Once they’re gone, your body is more relaxed and you feel better.
That’s the biological basis of common advice like taking a walk around the block when you’re really angry at someone.
Many people will get furious and punch a wall or run kick a tree or whatever. It’s because of the same thing- physiologically/chemically anger can cause an adrenaline rush and essentially it has to be released. It’s almost like “blueballs” for a man- there must be release or it can be detrimental or at least painful. Most counsellors advise people with anger management problems to exercise more when they feel an attack of anger coming on. (Standard “I am not a doctor or medical professional” disclaimer here, btw.)
There’s been a lot of research done in recent years on the XYY men (men who have an extra male chromosome) and their natural anger/hyper aggression. It has been used in court to argue “they had no choice but to release their anger in an act of violence” (to mixed results). While obviously no women are XYY, there are some who have naturally greater agressive tendencies than other (more akin to the masculine), sometimes due to hormonal imbalances, that also require release.
I have been told often that that adrenaline rush can become a little addicting and that some people can become “attached” to the rush they feel when they are angry and telling someone off.
[Pedant]
Actually it is called Displacement. The term Transference is limited to the description of a part of the formation of a therapeutic relationship.
[/Pedant]
Displacement is a defense by which an impulse perceived as dangerous is displaced, either through redirection toward a different object or replacement by another impulse. In the first type, known as object displacement, anger or another emotion is initially felt toward a person against whom it is unsafe to express it (in children, for example, toward a parent). Displacement functions as a means by which the impulse can still be expressed–allowing a catharsis of the original emotion–but toward a safer target, such as a sibling, peer, or even a toy. In the second type of displacement, known as drive displacement, the object of the emotion remains the same but the emotion itself is replaced by a less threatening one.
-transference- phenomenon by which patient’s unconscious feelings about a significant person in their life are experienced consciously as feelings about the therapist. -Freud felt that this allowed for patients to become aware of strong emotional feelings. In the countertransference relationship, the patient puts something into the therapist which the therapist experiences as his or her own.
Whoops. My bad. I was trying to recall 12-year-old psych classes and appear to have gotten my terminologies mixed up. I knew one of them had to do with having a crush-by-proxy for your therapist.
