I used to assemble stuff all the time in my first real job at Toys R Us. (Built a lot of bicycles, swing sets, play sets, baby furniture, Power Wheels, and so on.) Later, I became a computer technician and I’ve built those for decades. Putting furniture together is a piece of cake compared to fiddling around inside a laptop.
I will say though, those lamps that need to be screwed together in multiple pieces can be impossible to get straight. You usually screw them together and the threads often don’t line up right. The problem is that when you have multiple pieces, it just takes a very small flaw in each one to add up to a crooked final piece. I even remember an old Mr. Wizard episode where he demonstrated a similar phenomenon with a standard deck of playing cards… Each card looks totally straight on each side, but line them up and eventually it will inevitably curve in one direction because no deck of cards is perfectly even.
Have you actually tried to assemble a relatively simple piece of furniture from Ikea? I don’t know about lamps and stuff like that, but I’ve assembled bookshelves with glass doors, small tables and chairs, and a nice cherrywood credenza (or maybe it was dark oak – I don’t remember) from their business section that I use as a TV stand, and I’ve never had any problems assembling any of them. The main reason is that Ikea’s wood furniture products are manufactured to exacting specifications, so things should usually just fit, and just get bolted together. If I can do this in my capacity as a clumsy doofus, probably so can anyone.
But I emphasize that my experience is limited to cabinets and bookshelves, not metal things like floor lamps and table lamps. I do have an Ikea high-intensity desk lamp that I have over the bookshelf/headboard of the bed, with a dimmer switch that I use to keep it dim, which is great, but it didn’t require any assembly that I recall.
I tried bookcases and filing cabinets years ago. Not from Ikea as there is not a nearby store.
Inevitably I had to call my father who was alive at the time. He would come by with his drill and box of additional screws to finish up. Even he had some trouble occasionally.
I am way past even trying these days. I don’t have the physical ability or the patience.
There’s no one to call.
The only help I can ask for is making a Facebook post!
I recently helped teach my daughter how to assemble her new, boxed furniture. The non-Ikea bedframe and shelving units were awful! The Ikeas were much simpler (although still no picnic). I never thought I’d praise Ikea furniture assembly before, but there’s a lot worse out there!
I don’t blame you one bit for not wanting to do it yourself.
I have a handyman I can call but he is extremely busy and there are wait times.
Those apps like Task Rabbit/Thumbtack and Angi’s List have very limited options for those of us who live in rural communities. Facebook seems to be a better option.
Far be it from me to try to talk you into something that may cause you trouble, especially because there’s no Ikea near you, and one of my points – FWIW – is that in my experience Ikea furniture is precision-made to go together relatively easily, while many other brands may be much less so.
In all my years of assembling Ikea stuff, I’m sure I’ve rarely used any tools other than what comes with it – usually a small hex wrench – or the fasteners that come with it (usually screws). Definitely never needed any extra fasteners or a drill – that would go against the Ikea Religion!
I haven’t assembled anything in quite a while, but one drawback that I recall about assembling Ikea furniture is that since they make the same products for sale in many different countries, the assembly instructions are usually in the form of pictograms rather than words. Which occasionally leaves me wondering at a certain step showing some parts festooned with arrows going in all directions exactly what the clever Swede who drew this expects me to do. But mostly it is, really, all very simple and straightforward.
But I can appreciate physical limitations. Frankly if I had to deal with some issue near floor level and had to get down on my knees to do it, I’d have a major challenge getting up again without some source of support (or, possibly, a crane!). This is why I can no longer install dishwashers or perform under-sink plumbing. This is why I have a pair of Ukrainian handyman brothers even though I can’t afford them.
I saw the thread title Failpril and thought it was about a new ACE inhibitor for hypertension, like lisinopril and enalopril.
“Failpril is the blood pressure drug that stops working when you least expect it. May cause excessive hair growth on the extremities, palpable purpura, goiter, vanilla sweat and cabbage intolerance. Do not take Failpril if allergic to Failpril. If you cannot afford Failpril, tough.”
Last night we were coming out of the movie theater after seeing “Project Hail Mary” and my wife tripped over her own two feet and… well, she didn’t face-plant, because she sort of rolled as she was falling and landed on her side. But she was a little stunned and felt nauseous when she tried to sit up. And of course a crowd of people gathered trying to help or just making sure she was OK. There were a couple of people who seemed to have some medical knowledge who were a big help. After making sure she was in good hands I went to get the car and pulled it around to the side exit of the multiplex. By the time I got back a couple of theater staff had showed up with a rolling office chair that we got her up and into and rolled her out to the car. She turned out to be fine, just a sore rib on the side where she fell, and mostly embarrassed for making a spectacle of herself. I told her next time we go out I’m going to wrap her in bubble wrap first.
Last Thursday evening, I was out on a social gravel bike ride. Very chill, rolling at about 12-14 mph. Unfortunately I made the mistake of looking behind me at the exact moment the rider in front of me slowed down fairly abruptly, by the time I knew what was happening I was in trouble. I grabbed a handful of rear brake when I needed the front brake. I ended up hitting the ground hard on my right side, mostly on my lower back and side. Felt a bit banged up, but finished the ride and figured I would be a bit sore for a few days. Now after a few days, the lower back is better, but now I am fairly certain that I have a slightly fractured rib. Not fully broken (because I know what a broken bone feels like, and from the descriptions I have heard about broken ribs, it isn’t that bad). But it isn’t great either. It feels worse today than it did the day after the crash. I have to move my upper body carefully, and a cough or a sneeze is just fucking awful. Nothing to do now but wait a few weeks to heal up. Funny thing is that I expected to see some bruises, but nothing. Of course, I go on vacation this week. It will be fun, just a little less than I was expecting.
So I don’t know, I guess this might be a hairline fracture rather a full on broken bone? That puts me at three suspected but unconfirmed fractures in my life vs five confirmed broken bones. I really don’t want any more, but at least I am still moving I guess.
It’s been my experience that a broken bone often feels worse 12-24 hours later than right after the injury, and I’ve got a LOT of experience. I tripped over my own feet a couple years ago and had bruising suggestive of a broken bone in my foot, and I had landed, HARD, on the couch arm, and it really felt like I’d cracked a rib.
I got X-rayed and neither break showed up, so I dunno, but my chest hurt for several weeks. Some cracks don’t even show up right after the injury, they show up on X-ray a week or so later due to the healing process (had that happen with a broken elbow).
My latest minirant: some time back, a certain mail order pharmacy known as Dropped’em quit putting the reversible caps on their pill bottles, in favor of purely “adult-proof” ones. Now, I don’t have any real issue with that myself, but in 10 years, who knows. I’ve taken to saving the caps from older bottles and using them on the new ones.
Sounds like a cracked rib. I cracked one a couple of years ago after crashing my bike. There’s not much you can do, except avoid listening to stand up comedy.
Got up Stoopit-early (up, showered, dressed, breakfasted, packed & car loaded by Dark:30) yesterday morning to go do a race. Start the car & go to pull out & the TPMS warning light comes on. Get out & take a gander; hmmm, that one does look low. Get back in to pull out my tire gauge; it’s a fancy one with three settings - PSI, BAR, & a third one. In the dark, & w/o glasses, it read 13; but somehow, which I didn’t realize until later I wasn’t on PSI. Drove S instead of N to go to the convenience store with free air; both compressors are OOS. Panic sets in as I don’t know where to go now. Where are there gas stations near me that might have air so early in the morning because I am not getting on the interstate like this (it really was 25 PSI). Luckily I found another, brand new convenience store of the same chain a couple of miles up the road; albeit on the wrong side (w/ Jersey barriers separating N from S) but was able to get there & back w/o going too far out of the way. I was schnockered by the time I got home & forgot about it but when I got in the car this morning the TPMS again came off; it was down to 21 PSI this morning; late to work due to visiting the ‘tahr’ store but all should be good now.
Last stop yesterday; around 6pm was to Trader Joe’s for some groceries. The checkout clerk, trying to make small talk said something about, “Is this your only outing for the day?” I snorted! Even by my normally crazy schedule it was a tough one. Most people would wilt just thinking about what I did for the day.
I concur, particularly with rib fractures. I’ve only experienced it once, and don’t remember feeling any particular pain. The next day I almost passed out from the pain, and had to take strong prescription pain medication to be able to sleep (Demerol, as Tylenol-3 was doing basically nothing). Your injury seems fortunately less severe than mine was.
But the good news, @Dag_Otto, is that it heals fairly quickly, but don’t be afraid to demand adequate pain medication if you feel you need it. There’s nothing virtuous about enduring painful sleepless nights.
So do I. It’s come in handy many times. The vast majority of tire problems are slow leaks where an air compressor can keep you going for a long time, or at least get you to a tire shop. With most gas stations now demanding payment for their air compressors, having one in your trunk is just the ticket! My old reliable is probably at least 25 years old.
