fake bad butter substitute names

So I went shopping last night for butter substitute (i.e. margarine, but “butter substitute” is funnier), and ran across the infamous “I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter!”. That’s a product name trying to be a punch line. Looking around, I also saw the generic brand, “Butter, It’s Not”. That’s right, a fake of a fake. :wink:

That is an even more iffy name for a product (butter it snot). It’s amusing. And that got me thinking about bad names for butter substitutes along the same line of thought. I started cracking up, so I’m forced to share this with you here. Enjoy.

It’s Not Butter?

But I Wanted Butter!

It Could Be Butter

You’ll Think It’s Butter

Where’s My Butter?

Better Than Butter (hey, this might be a good name)

Why Butter?

Why Not Butter?

If It Were Butter…

It Tastes Like Butter!

Butter This

You Can’t Tell It’s Not Butter (might work)

You Want Butter?

I Once Had Butter

Butter Is Bad For You, Eat This Instead

You’ll Never Know It’s Not Butter

There’s No Butter In Here!

You Could Have Had Butter


Life’s Butter

Butter Off With This

ButterLean (Don’t eat fat, eat ButterLean)

One of the generic knockoffs of I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter where I live is called “Memories Of Butter”

Butter (Might Have Been Waved Over This During Production)

I Can’t Believe You Think This Stuff Is Anything Like Butter.

I like ‘Better than Butter?’ , with the question mark.
Because, really, most of the stuff isn’t any better for you.

Unbelieveable This Is Not Butter

I Can’t Believe It’s Not “I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter”.

Butter and butter, what is butter?

To Butter or Not to Butter?

Looks Kinda Like Butter

Butter Substitute/Axle Grease Two-For-One Rendered Horse Hide

Hallucinogen-Fortified Butter Substitute: You Really Won’t Know It’s Not Butter!

Processed Butterlike Food Emulation

It Comes In A Yellow Tub: Must Be Butter!

Butter, Shmutter

Almost, But Not Quite, Entirely Unlike Butter

For the win!

But I’ll still submit

Butter Buster

or Blubber Buster (The diet version)


Mafia Margarine: You’ll Say It Tastes Like Butter If You Know What’s Good For You

The Mary Whitehouse Experience did a good riff on this when ICBINB first came out:

“Surely these are pineapple chunks?”,

“Ooh, but these must be gravy granules - aren’t they?”, and

“Bollocks! This is custard power and I’ll deck anyone who says it isn’t!”


I believe at one point in time there was a butter substitute called “Move Over, Butter”. Commercials would emphasize the “moo” in “move”.

Fake Butter

Trans Fat-Laden, Heart Attack-Inducing, Not-Really-Better-for-You-than-Butter Brand Spread

(w/apologies to Car Talk) Margarine of Error

It had to come. You were waiting for it…