Not a title, but here is a prototypical country song lyric
(to the tune of “Rocky Top”)
My girl ran off with my pick up truck,
Took my coon dawg tooooooo.
I lost my job, down at the sawmill,
What am I gonna doooooo?
Thou shalt not answer questionnaires
Or quizzes upon world affairs,
Nor with compliance
Take any test. Thou shalt not sit
with statisticians nor commit
A social science.
– **W H Auden **
“we go together like cold coffee and warm beer”
my dear
whether I am in the truck
or in jail
with my dog
or with my wife
this is to my mistress
you know who you are
you are the illegitimate fourth step-child of my uncle frank
who may be my dad
i’m not sure
but that doesnt matter now
you know I love you betty lou
cries
we go together like cold coffee and warm beer
my dear
lend me your ear
perhaps shed a tear
get me a beer!!
(receives it) thanks honey britches
(and to the chorus for the next 3 minutes) every body sing along!!!
we go together like cold coffee and warm beer!
“They Ain’t Making Jews Like Jesus Anymore” was recorded by Kinky Friedman and the Texas Jewboys.
Two other amusing real song titles:
“You’re the Reason Our Kids Are Ugly” by Conway Twitty and Loretta Lynn
“Yonder Comes a Sucker” by Jim Reeves - a great song, by the way.
“She Got the Goldmine (I Got the Shaft)” is from Jerry Reed’s “The Bird” album.
My favorite is Buck Owens’ “Where Does the Good Times Go?”
Sweet Basil
*Guys Do It All The Time
Shut Up and Drive
Don’t Be Stupid
Queen of My Double-Wide Trailer*
Oh…you wanted made up titles. Never mind. 
Your Official Cat Goddess since 10/20/99.
“We are here! You are saved!” --R. & F.
Aunt Momma done broke my heart again
Pinin’ for Cousin SisBob’s parole
My Wife Done Left me, I’m Cryin’ In My Beer And The Cows Are Lookin’ Sexy…Again.
You say “cheesy” like that’s a BAD thing.
Country music is the worst music in the world: Hense the following titles
“My wife left me for my brother”
“My banjo only has 2 strings”
“My life sucks, I’ll sing about it”
“Why did my father abuse me as a child?”
“Why does my father abuse me as an adult?”
“Why didnt my father abuse me as an adult?”
“sister, mom, shes the same to me”
I have my group, “Gas food and lodging” working on it. So far I have a dog, pickup truck and a train in it.
Jim Stafford had a great title for a country song: “I hope you’re livin’ as high on the hog as the pig you turned out to be.”
Then there’s “You Never Even Called Me By My Name”, by John Prine and Steve Goodman (recorded by David Allen Coe). They tried to get everything that’s ever been in a country song into one song, but with only one verse to go realized that they left out God, mother, prison, farms, trucks, trains, big holidays like Christmas, getting drunk, and dead dogs like Old Shep. So the last verse is -
When the dog got drunk and died,
And Momma went to prison,
Things around this farm ain’t been the same.
God you know, when Mom broke out last Christmas,
She drove a getaway laundry truck,
Right into a train.
(Chorus)
And I’m gonna hang around as long as you will let me,
And I never minded standing in the rain.
You don’t have to call me darlin’, darlin’,
But you never even called me by my name.
Actually, what was missing was “mamma, prison, trucks, trains and getting drunk”
“Oh, I was drunk
The day my mom
Got outta prison
And I went
To pick her up
In the ra-a-ain
But before I could get to the station in my pickup truck
She got runned over by a damned old train”
(See the lines interspersed in this thread.)
She sure had a purty mouth(but teeth woulda been nice)
uhhhh…never mind
View every exit as an entrance someplace else
Now, keep in mind I don’t know much about country music (except that I hate it), but isn’t there a song called “I gave her the ring, she gave me the finger” ?
Some drink at the fountain of knowledge…others just gargle.
Uh, Kat, I have the original version on tape here, as sung by Steve Goodman in concert. My version is word-for-word correct. (During the spoken word bridge, he actually says, “Getting drunk thanks to Coal” instead of just ‘Getting Drunk’, but that’s about the only difference).
I’ve heard David Allen Coe’s version as well, and it doesn’t look like yours either. Where did you hear your version?
“Thank God and Greyhound You’re Gone” -Roy Clark
They say the Lord loves drunks, fools and little children.
Two out of three ain’t bad.
“Truck Drivin’ Song”, by Weird Al Yankovic, which appears on his latest album, Running With Scissors:
(Imagine this being sung by a really low male voice: )
I’d post more, but I don’t wanna violate Weird Al Yankovic’s copyright.
Kinda reminds me of Monty Python’s Lumberjack Song…
On my Dad’s old records, on my Dad’s tapes and on the radio. And, yes, that is the David Allen Coe version. Where have you heard the DAC version and what are the lyrics you hear?
Here is where I doublechecked my memory:
You never even called me by my name at www.davidallancoe.com
You never even called me by my name
You never even called me by my name
(Forgive the all caps, but it’s a C&P–they all have it all caps, and I’m too lazy to retype it.)
RECITATION:
WELL, A FRIEND OF MINE NAMED STEVE GOODMAN WROTE THAT SONG
AND HE TOLD ME IT WAS THE PERFECT COUNTRY & WESTERN SONG
I WROTE HIM BACK A LETTER AND I TOLD HIM IT WAS NOT THE PERFECT COUNTRY & WESTERN SONG BECAUSE HE HADN’T SAID ANYTHING AT ALL ABOUT MAMA,
OR TRAINS,
OR TRUCKS,
OR PRISON,
OR GETTIN’ DRUNK
WELL HE SAT DOWN AND WROTE ANOTHER VERSE TO THE SONG
AND HE SENT IT TO ME,
AND AFTER READING IT,
I REALIZED THAT MY FRIEND HAD WRITTEN THE PERFECT
COUNTRY & WESTERN SONG
AND I FELT OBLIGED TO INCLUDE IT ON THIS ALBUM
THE LAST VERSE GOES LIKE THIS HERE:
Your Official Cat Goddess since 10/20/99.
“We are here! You are saved!” --R. & F.