Fake Country Songs

Create the title of a fictional country song.

Here are a few that only need the lyrics to be billboard smashes.

“My Girl Left Me (I Think I’ll Go Chew Snuff)”

“The Gunrack of my Heart is Empty Since I Lost You”

“Her Kisses Taste Like Roadkill”

“My Tractor and My Love Are Out of Gas”

If you look long enough, you can probably find the list of humorous c/w songs making the rounds of the internet.

sample:
While my John Deere was breaking your field, your dear John was breaking my heart.

I got that email today. It was my inspiration for this post.

I was drunk
the day my momma
got out of prison…

So I went
TO pick her up
In the Rain.

Two Tequilas and a Can of Snuff.

My Momma Shore is Purty.

Love is Nice, innit?

Only You Could Keep Me Away From the Tractor Pull.

This Bud’s for You, Dear.

I Love that Shade of Pink.

My Boots, My Hat, and Thou.

You obviously haven’t listened to enough country music to know that real songs are more unintentionally hilarious than made up ones.

(If you don’t want to go to) Fist City (you better detour around my town)

Don’t Come Come A-Drinkin (with lovin’ on your mind)

Your Squaw is on the Warpath


Come, let us go, I’ve a cask of amontillado.

“Dropkick me, Jesus, thru the goalposts of life.”

“They don’t make Jews like Jesus anymore.”

The first one was a real record.

Someone else told me about the second, but I have not personally heard it.

But before I coud get
To the station
In my PICKUUUUP TRUCK


JB
Lex Non Favet Delicatorum Votis

My Dog got run over by a dammed old train.
Chorus: you Nevver called me darling, darling


You want brilliance BEFORE I’ve had my coffee!!!

Harumph…ain’t it against the rules for Canucks to sing The Perfect Country Song? :wink:

To wit:

SHE got run over by a damned ol’ train.

Chorus: So I’ll hang around as long as you will let me…
Carry on.


JB
Lex Non Favet Delicatorum Votis

Canuck, sheesh …sorry, its been twenty years since I heard the song…carrying on “and I never minded standing in the rain”


You want brilliance BEFORE I’ve had my coffee!!!

I got my truck
It’s four wheel drive
I go huntin’ critters
Shoot 'em right between the eyes

I got my wife
She knows her place
Either workin’ in the kitchen
Or a sittin’ on my face

Thankyouthankyouverymuch!

I’ll write the rest of this song when my wife isn’t looking.

oooh ! Somebody, please go and find the lyrics to the song that was played in the Simpsons episode that had Krusty plugging some 4WD car at the end of it. He was driving along with Bart in the passenger seat and there was this BRILLIANT country song. I think the car was called the “Silverado” or somehting… hang on, I’ll do a little seach.


Coldfire: second to none but Satan.


“You know how complex women are”

  • Neil Peart, Rush (1993)

DAMN, the Silverado is a real Chevy :wink:

It ended in -rado, I remember that much…


Coldfire: second to none but Satan.


“You know how complex women are”

  • Neil Peart, Rush (1993)

Yeah ! I found it !! Ladies and Gentlemen, I proudly present: The Canyonero!

" Can you name the truck with four wheel drive,
smells like a steak and seats thirty-five…

Canyonero! (Whip-crack)
Canyonero! (Whip-Crack!)

Well, it goes real slow with the hammer down,
It’s the country-fried truck endorsed by a clown!

Canyonero! (Yah! Whip-Crack)
Canyonero! (Whipcrack.)

(Hey Hey)

(The Federal Highway comission has ruled the
Canyonero unsafe for highway or city driving)

Canyonero! (Whipcrack.)

(Fox sound)

12 yards long, 2 lanes wide,
65 tons of American Pride!

Canyonero! (Whip-Crack)
Canyonero! (Whipcrack.)

Top of the line in utility sports,
Unexplained fires are a matter for the courts!

Canyonero! (Whip-Crack)
Canyonero! (Yah! Whipcrack.)

She blinds everybody with her super high beams,
She’s a squirrel crushing, deer smacking, driving machine

Canyonero!-oh woah, Canyonero! (Yah! Whipcrack.)

Drive Canyonero!

Woah Canyonero!

Woah! "
Top THAT… I remember falling on the FLOOR when I saw that episode :slight_smile:


Coldfire: second to none but Satan.


“You know how complex women are”

  • Neil Peart, Rush (1993)

My favorite real country song title:

I’ve been so miserable since you’ve left me, it’s like you still were here

You been treatin’ me like you treat yer Depends

Our dogs are doin’ it, why cain’t we?

Put another 'coon on the 'barbie

Here’s to me and yer sister … Mom

My favorite country song:

She got the gold mine (I got the shaft)


“Nostalgia isn’t what it used to be.”

Get Off Me Daddy (You’re Smushin’ My Cigarettes)