Famous First Words

We’ve all heard the Famous Last Words of everybody from Caesar to that unnamed redneck who said, “Hey, y’all, watch this.”

It’s not a requirement of this thread that you provide actual cites to authentic sources for your entry(ies), but if you can, so much the better.

Out of the mouths of babes, as it were:

Donald Trump, “You’re Fired!”

Emeril Lagasse, “What is this tripe?”

GWB, “Nu-cue-ler.”

Carl Sagan, “Dozens and dozens of stars.”

Johnny Carson, “Heeeeere’s Johnny!”

Me: “Hand me those wire cutters.”

Not quite. Those were the first words out of the mouth of Ed McMahon.

Johnny’s first words would have been:

“Boy, was it hot in there…”

(to which the doctors would be expected to respond in unison with “How hot was it?”)

Ed’s would’ve been “HIooooooooo!”

Jay Leno couldn’t have said anything because his chin was stuck.

“We’re gonna have a great shoo tonight.” Ed Sullivan.

Simon Cowell: “I don’t mean to be rude, but that sounded like you were giving birth to an elephant. I mean, honestly: how hard can it be to expel a seven-pound baby? If you had a birth coach, you should ask for your money back.”

Richard M. Nixon: “People have to know whether or not I’m a baby. Well, I’m not a baby.”

Arnold Schwarzenegger: “I’ll be back!”

James Brown: “OOOooow! I feel good!”

Señor Wences: “S’alright?” [throwing voice into vagina] “S’alright.”