A man and a toddler are sitting in their living room. The man has just activated a device which causes a huge artificial fist to beat against the basement door. The toddler is terrified.
“Uh-oh, Billy, Looks like you’re crying woke the monster in the basement again. Maybe if you’re real quiet, he’ll go back to sleep.”
Love these!
I also love one that has Satan’s mother coming into a room of hellbound souls, carrying a plate of cookies and a tray of drinks. Satan is yelling something like, “Mom, NO!”
There’s one cartoon I remember but I can’t remember if it’s a Far Side. It has a scene of stick figures playing volleyball, but one of them has the head of a stick figure in his hand. “Heeeey! This isn’t the ball!”
Gotta agree with Midvale School for the Gifted and My Brain is Full.
Wasn’t there one called Drive Thru Brain Surgery? It showed the driver of a car leaning out and surgeons working on his head. Of course, the scary thing is that right after it’s over, he’s going to drive away like he just got a burger or made a bank deposit or something.
Seconding the Boneless Chicken Ranch and gazillionth-ing cat fud.
Some others…
[ul]
[li]Two guys are hiking through the jungle, surrounded by swarms of mosquitoes and covered with bites. “Wait a minute!..McCallister, you fool! This isn’t what I told you to bring!” says one guy as he looks down at the spray can of “On”.[/li]
[li]Big Bob’s Ballbearings, Bananas, Roller Skates, & Floor Wax, Inc.[/li]
[li]A chicken is standing, looking at a big billboard across the street: “The Other Side: Why do you need a reason?”[/li]
[/ul]
The caption for that one reads something like “Gary Larson, Age 7.” 
Scanning through all these recaps of Far Side cartoons has put me in the mood of grabbing one of those big volumes of **The Complete Far Side ** tonight!
I can’t believe no one has mentioned one of the most famous and a personal favorite of mine:
– Angel in front of the Pearly Gates asking: “Okay, now listen up. Nobody gets in here without answering the following question: A train leaves Philadelphia at 1:00pm. It’s traveling at 65 miles per hour. Another train leaves Denver at 4:00 … Say, you need some paper?” The caption: Math phobic’s nightmare.
But my all time favorite is
– A couple leaving a house where the owners are sprawled on the floor and sofa in the living room. Caption: The Arnolds feign death until the Wagners, sensing the sudden awkwardness, are compelled to leave.
Cavemen are sitting in a cave around a campfire with a parot in a cage behind them. The caption reads, “Grunt, snort, grunt grunt snort.”
I forgot a few.
“Yes, gentlemen, they’re fools. But what kind of fools are they?”
A woman is calling out to her dog, “C’mere, Fifi! Faster, Fifi, faster!” as the dog races towards the doggie door. But from inside you can see that the woamn has nailed it shut and braced it with a two-by-four.
cmkeller mentioned Gak Eisenberg and his silent mammoth whistle earlier, but that one was always a fave, as my Army unit had a guy named Eisenberg in it, and after that strip came out, he was forever known to everyone in the company (even the CO) as “Gak.”
Two from the cow series which, while not bone shakingly hilarious, have always tickled me:
A road winds through rolling pasture lands scattered with docile, stolid humans. A car full of cows drives by, all of them sticking their heads out the windows calling “Yakety, yakety, yak. Yakety, yakety yak.”
A bull relaxes in his easy chair reading the news paper. His cow wife stands at the window staring into the distance. “Wendell,” she says, “I’m not content.”
One of my earliest successful threads (in terms of number of replies anyway) was one from June, 2003, which ran to three pages. There may be a few Favorite “Far Side” Memories (MAD, too) that haven’t made it to this thread yet.
I always liked “Business Lunch” (tiny businessmen in suits in a sardine tin being knifed out over bread); the Headless Horsefamily (even the fish is headless); the Boneless Chicken Ranch; and the one with the archeologists in some ancient tomb, and the mummy has stepped out of his coffin after being disturbed, and doles out his punishments thusly: “Let’s see, now, that’ll be a curse on you, and a curse on you, and a curse on you.”
The boogie man is at the door. Two children are looking out the window in horror. The mother is saying, “Why yes - there are two children here who won’t eat their vegetables.”
A hunter and a deer are fighting. “Roger shoves Carl, Carl shoves Roger, and tempers rise.”
A man with a smoking shotgun at a table. Two corpses across the table from him. His wife is saying, “That settles it, Carl - from now on you are getting only decaffeinated coffee!”
Regards,
Shodan
My college English Comp prof had one on his office door that I loved: Caption reads “God at His computer.” The computer screen shows a man walking under a piano suspended from a rope and God is reaching for the “SMITE” key.
Two bears in the woods staring at a rifle on the ground.
First bear to the second, “Thunderstick!?? That my friend is a Remington 30.06!”
“Horse Hospitals” which shows lab-coated doctors stalking between rows of nervous looking horses with shotguns under their arms.
Too many. I used to keep my favorites from the calendars in my cube.
“Abducted by an alien circus company, Professor Doyle is forced to write calculus equations in the center ring”
“And then the bovine watchers were given a real treat. On a small knoll, in full splendor, there suddenly appeared a Guatemalan cow of paradise.”
A woman is looking tearfully at the squashed remains of her husband and cat, with a steamroller in the background. The dog is being led away by police. A detective tells her “Your dog had both motive and opportunity, ma’am: he hated the cat and he’s had training in operating heavy machinery . . . Your husband, we feel, was just in the wrong place at the wrong time.”
A flying saucer is parked on the ground, with one character addressing a group of others. They all look like humans on the top half of their bodies, but they have tentacles for legs. The leader is saying “So far, so good! We now control a prime source of their information, and the foolish earthlings do not suspect a thing! Ha ha ha! Now return to your stations.” Caption: Why we see news anchorpersons only from the waist up.
A bittersweet (but still hilarious) one:
A flock of sheep. One of them has risen to his feet, his arms in the air, and is saying:
“Wait! We don’t have to be just sheep!”
A building, on fire, going over a waterfall. Sign on the building CRISIS CLINIC
"You must be the one they call ‘The Kid.’ " (old west barroom; baby peeking over the bar)
Cow Philosophy: “And as you travel life’s highway, don’t forget to stop and eat the roses”
A boa constrictor is in his living room with the rear end of a pig sticking out of his mouth and the phone is ringing. The snake is staring at the phone thinking, “damn.”
“Social morays”
Two cowboy characters are standing outside the sherrif’s office looking at a pile of horses, guys, and weapons. One cowboy has his hands on his hips in frustration and is saying, “So you just threw everything together? Matthews, a posse is a thing you have to ORGANIZE.”
A frontiersman is sitting at his desk looking frustrated with an old woman berating him, “LEWIS and clark? If you don’t say something about this, you’ll be playing second fiddle in the history books!” The caption reads, “Clark’s mother.”
Two fish are in their bowl looking on in panic as the water is rushing out a hole knocked in the side. One is wearing a baseball glove, the other is holding a bat.
Two archaeologists have found a caveman skeleton with a spear sticking out of his chest next to a cave painting of a gracefully leaping bull with a caveman’s face drawn on its rear end. One says to the other, “Look, professor! A prehistoric cave painter, still clutching his brush! Seems he made some enemies, though…”
Two explorers, a man and a woman, are looking down at a flat tire on their land rover. A chimp swings in on a vine, changes their tire and swings away. The man says to the woman, “Now THAT, Ms. Carlyle, is a great ape.”
These among hundreds.