"Farm-grown vegetables" and other WTF ad one-liners

‘Pan Fried’

As opposed to frying it in a hat, or a shoe.

Coors Light advertises itself as the “coldest-tasting beer in the world”(1) and that it is “frost-brewed”(2).

(1) Actually this is accurate. Cold has no flavor, and Coors Light has the largest level of flavorlessness.

(2) Since the process of brewing beer requires that the precursor to beer (wort) is boiled, this is a bit of a noodle-scratcher.

I guess it’s to distunguish it from “deep fried”, which in the UK food arena (particularly pubs) used to be the default method of cooking.

“Pan-friend chicken” versus “Fried Chicken”, for example.
My fave is the “salmon tin wars”…

One of those crummy chain sit-down fast-food restaurants advertises burgers that “Eats like steak”.

What in the hell does that mean? Steak eats? Do they mean taste? Their ground beef is actually ground up beef?

What e-logic said. There’s a big difference in what you expect from pan-fried food as opposed to deep-fried food. Deep fried food should have a uniform crust all around it, ideally composed of something light and crispy like tempura. Pan-fried foods will have darker spots and lighter spots and the crust will be heavier and crunchier and should (if prepared properly) stick well to the food so you get some crust in every bite.

Unless it’s pan-fried semen, of course. Alton Brown never told me what to expect of that.

Pan Fried is different than deep fried.

I thought the add flavor to taste thing was a take on recipes that say things like “add salt to taste” Which means to add salt to your own preference, or taste.

While “fresh baked” bread isn’t the same as “fresh-made dough” or “from scratch”, it is a lot yummier than bread which was baked a while ago. I personally bake all of the bread I eat (again, from frozen loaves of dough) for this reason, and I don’t think it’s dishonest of Subway to claim superior food for doing the same thing.

I think this is another colloquial or regional use of language that some folks don’t get. To me, to say that a burger eats like steak very clearly means that the experience I have eating it will be like the experience I have eating steak. I have no idea whether the claim is true (probably not, but it’s subjective so they can get away with it), but it makes sense.

That was my understanding, too.

“Hand-dipped ice cream” is the one that has always baffled me. (I guess it must mean “as opposed to soft-serve ice cream, or ice cream bars,” but still, it always strikes me as a thoroughly meaningless phrase.)

I’ve always hated the “home-cooked” ads - if I wanted home-cooked food I’d eat at home. Do they cook the stuff at home and haul it to the resturant? Has their kitchen been inspected?

Fretful Porpentine - that one has always bothered me, too. I would much rather they used a scoop than their hands.

I also hate “hand-crafted,” as in “hand-crafted sandwiches.” It creates visions of some Rube-Goldbergesque sandwichmaking machine as being the alternative.

I have been laughing to myself for 10 minutes thinking about the crazy fudge maker!!!

I’m drinking a bottle of Propel Fitness Water. In large letters at the top of the label, it says “NATURAL LEMON FLAVOR,” and below that it says in small letters “NO FRUIT JUICE.” I can’t imagine how natural a fruit flavor can be attained without any juice from said fruit.

My favorite is jars of peanut butter and the like that say “no cholesterol”. I should hope not; I’m not interested in beef butter.

Advertisers in Canada are not allowed to use “home cooked” or “home made” on anything anymore - well, presumably unless it is in fact cooked at your home… The default is now “home style” for advertisers; as in Tim Hortons “home style” biscuits.

I hate commercials where they come up with every adjective imaginable to describe their food, like: 3 buttery golden pancakes, served with 2 sizzling pork sausages, and fluffy scrambled eggs, with a steaming home style biscuit and piping hot coffee. Fuck off and give me my crappy breakfast already.

I went to get a cup of coffee after reading “beef butter”, and by the time I got back, all I could think of was

BACON BUTTER ™. Spreads like butter. Tastes like bacon.

You heard about it here first!

As was established in a seminal GQ thread a couple months back.

:stuck_out_tongue:

Huh? What’s so unusual about stores selling gift items? Don’t you ever buy gifts for other people?