I come from a long line of public farters, but the game as we play it consists of farting as loudly and unambiguously as possible while remaining unacknowledged by outsiders. It’s tricky.
Stories like this make me wistful. Whatever happened to cutting the cheese in a good old-fashioned mom-and-pop bookstore? Everyone just lets one rip in Borders or Barnes & Nobel these days without even a thought. Soon there won’t be any more corner bookstores in which to drop your air biscuits.
I have a professor who constantly farts and belches while giving lectures. She never even excuses herself. Put her on the Iowa registry. Seriously, I feel like a public notice should have been posted, warning the students before we registered for her class.
Not to hijack, but as for letting one (or more) go in public places without making any effort as far as concealment, does anyone remember that episode of “Wife Swap” where the swapped wife is shopping in the grocery store to prepare for the party she’s supposed to give for other wife’s family and friends? She walked through the store, cutting the cheese repeatedly and never so much as flinched or said “excuse me”. The promos for the show aired repeatedly, and they always showed her strolling through the store and farting.
She doesn’t get the advantage of anonymity like the Borders farter, though. Her public store farting got aired (heh) on national television. I have a feeling though, that if she farts unambiguously in a public store, having other people know it’s her may not bug her.
And I second going to the kids’ section if you must let one go. The kids will laugh. You’ll get the appreciation you deserve there for a fine fart delivered. 
You may have hit upon the only strategy that can save the independent bookstore: “Egregious Farters Welcome” signs posted prominently near the entrances. People will come in to look up “egregious” in a dictionary they have no intention of buying, but hang around to pollute the atmosphere. They’ll pick up books to look busy and pretty soon we’ll be a nation of readers, again.
Fart for Literacy. Do it today.
I’ve been in that store. I don’t remember if I’ve ever farted there, but I hope I did.
You’d never catch me wearing a coral shirt & lavender tie though. That’s beyond the pail.
Now, that is egregious. Beyond the pale is bad enough, but I’m gettin’ some bad imagery now.
What does a bucket have to do with his attire?
Shouldn’t that be: “Gregarious Farters Welcome?” Farting in a ma and pa place is more satisfying. It gives it such a distinctive atmosphere. Or at least a rarified air.
Never was a screen name so appropriate.
Any bookstore is a target for me to fart. Even if I didn’t need to fart all day, as soon as I walk through the door, the smell of the books just inspires me to fart. Couldn’t stop it even if I tried. Libraries do the same thing to me.
I guess I just get too excited over the idea of a book.
Yeah! Now you’re bookin’ with gas!
Yep. The puns around here are rather shit-and-miss.
I remember seeing a greeting card that said something like, “I hope you like this. I had to grab it and run after someone farted in the greeting card aisle.” I always thought that was pretty funny, since for some reason, I always have to fart while looking for greeting cards.
I fart audibly and enjoyably at home all the time - I’ve noticed that I get too used to it, and forget to try to not fart audibly in public. Maybe that’s what happened to the guy.
I can’t believe I’m the first person to post this here. Family Guy farting contest. It cracks me up every time.
Finally! A cause I can get behind.
I was in that Borders today, But not till about five.
It wasn’t me either but I have to agree with butler, there is something about a bookstore or library that gets my intestines riled up. I don’t know why it happens but it does. I usually try to go to the restroom before anything major happens but sometimes little put-puts try to escape. If that happens I think the only prodigious thing to do is quickly leave the aisle and head for another part of the store. I think it must be standard policy because I often enter an empty aisle and walk smack dab into a large fart cloud. Someone will usually walk into the aisle after I do and then I end up the prime suspect. I want to shout “it wasn’t me!” but that only makes me look more suspicious. So again, the only thing to do when you encounter a fart cloud, whether it’s of your own making or not, is to quickly be elsewhere.
When I read the thread title, I thought it was a proposal for a flash mob.
Still not a bad idea 
(smiley modification: please pretend the question marks are fumes)
Who farted in here?
I was just trying to think of what that’s called. When I lived in DC, I think that store did get flash mobbed. This would be an excellent time to arrange a flash mob revival there, but with a new twist. There’s a Wrap Works burrito place not far from there; everyone should get fueled up there first.