Farts Vs Burps: the battle of the gasses

In My Humble Opinion
1

TLDR version: Which is worse, burps or farts?
I like to burp.
The sensation and the sound are just so satisfying.
However, I realize that many people find belching to be off-putting, so I will normally try to stifle a burp in the presence of others. At home, I am a little less reserved than in public (let the lion roar in his own den, I say), but I try to tone it down in front of my wife.

That said, just last night I let out a burp of moderate volume at home. My wife, from another part of the house, called out indignantly, “What was that!?”

Chiding me most severely, she went on to claim that an American acquaintance once told her that in his country, burping is considered even more offensive than farting! Now what that should have to do with us (her being Japanese and me being Australian), I really don’t know, but I opined that her American acquaintance must have been some kind of idiot to make such an outrageous claim, and surely didn’t represent the general opinion of the American populance.

I acknowledge that it is often easier to stifle a burp than a fart, and thus there may be a greater sence of culpability associated with the humble burp, as compared to its more pungent cousin. And honestly, I don’t particularly appreciate either one when I am the recipient and not the imparter.
Nevertheless, I insisted that no reasonable mind could consider burping to be worse than farting.

(Also, I think my wife has a personal interest in buying into the suggestion that farting is a lesser sin than burping.)

Later, however I got to wondering
A) which of the two is considered worse in other cultures, and
B) whether my own perspective is wrong.

Then it occurred to me: here on the Straight Dope I have access to some of the brightest intellects, sharpest witts, and lowest brows on the planet!

So I ask you, good people, which of these two bodily functions do you find to be more offensive, and what do you think the general opinion is in your society?

(My impression is that here in Japan they are equally frowned upon, as I hardly ever hear either. In public, at least.)

I may try to make this into a poll if I can figure out how to.

2

O.K. Poll’s up.
Sorry, it only covers personal opinion, not cultural/social opinion.
But by all means, please share information on your culture’s etiquette in your posts.

3

A mans gotta do what a mans gotta do.

4

Farts are worse than burps. A person who burps is supposed to say he’s sorry, but when someone farts, as Miss Manners says, “Etiquette’s way of dealing with things that shouldn’t happen is to pretend that they didn’t.”

5

Yes, but did John Wayne belch loudly after saying that, or did he let one rip?

(I know, John Wayne never actually said that line, but it’s still a nice image.)

6

OP asks opinion, but I think there’s a factual answer, at least in Western culture.

A person burps accidentally, they say “excuse me!” and move on. With an accidental fart, the farter usually clams up, or sniffs ostentatiously to pretend like it was not he who dealt it.

Both can not smell. Farts are arguably worse though because burps are “directed” and you won’t smell it unless you’re in front of them or have to kiss them. Also, it’s worse when you think about how smell = particles going up your nose, thus you have a choice between food and bacteria or poop and bacteria.

If you’re a bro, both are equally not offensive and hiiiiiilarious.

7

I can burp my way through “We The People of the United States of…” Right about there I usually run out of gas.

Let’s see somebody fart with similar eloquence! I dares ya!

8

I recall reading, in one of my books on Islam, that ritual cleansing (ghusl) is required after “flatus ex ano” (the book on Muslim ritual dips into Latin, interestingly, to avoid saying “farting”). It isn’t required after burping. Therefore, to those folks, farting is worse than burping.

as observed above, in modern American culture, you can get away with burping in public, if you say “excuse me”. It’s harder to excuse a public fart. So it seems farts are lower in the social hierarchy here, too.

9

A joke I heard when I was five:

What did one burp say to the other burp?
Let’s be little stinkers and sneak out the back way!

Well, it was funny when I was five…

10

Hell. I’m 39 and I laughed.

11

You might look up “Le Petomane.”

That said, burps–small ones, not great big shameless belches–are damn near socially acceptable, so long as you cover your mouth and say “excuse me” afterwards.

12

I know burps are funny when my dog makes them. Farts, not so funny.

13

I have burped the complete alphabet. Not since I was a kid, but I definitely did it. If you can “inhale” air into your stomach to make yourself burp, it’s not too hard.

14

Oh, I’ve known about him for ever. But he couldn’t “talk.” He could play notes – a kind of music – but he couldn’t enunciate. Couldn’t do consonants and vowels. At most a kind of “wa wa” like Charlie Brown’s teachers.

Grin! One of the most useful things I ever learned! But, man, you’re WAY ahead of me! I could probably (at my prime) have gotten to “P.” No way I could push all the way ahead to “Z.” I abase myself before my master!

15

You can’t light burps.

On the other hand, you can’t fart the alphabet.

Hmm… they both have disadvantages.

16

Farting. Burps seldom have odor. I’ve witnessed farts that cleared a room. A LARGE ROOM.

17

Hahaha! Since you will appreciate it, it took a few tries but when I finally did it, I had excess at the end for a real flourish – …double-you-ex-why-zeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! :slight_smile:

18

Neither should be offensive because they are normal bodily functions.

19

Well, so is defecation, but I’d think twice before dropping a borry in public.
Anyhoo, thanks to everyone who voted or commented.
I now feel vindicated.

I think I’ll keep this data for the next time my wife tries to tell me that burping is worse than farting. Then I can just say that a poll of some of the smartest people on the planet disagrees with her.

20

farts are worse. You can drop a burp in a fancy restaurant and recover. If you let rip a decent fart, you could clear the room.