Hey, why is this such a big deal? Everyone farts… why are people so uptight about it?
It’s usually one of the last barriers that comes down when you are dating. You know, that first time you fart around your SO: That is a MAJOR hurdle. You know it’s love when you can fart around each other and not die of embarrassment. It’s even better, IMHO, when you can laugh about it. (Wonder Twin Powers, Activate!)
To this day I have friends of 10 years that STILL cannot fart around me… They are horrified beyond what is normal when they stink up the bathroom… why is this so hard for most people?
We all belch, fart and shit. And yeah, that little song refrain runs through my mind, “Only women bleed…” Another thing that just tweaks people out. Why? It’s so basic, so human… why are these things the source of so much embarrassment?
Post your thoughts about belching, farting or taking a dump… I’m easily entertained (fucking obviously) so have at it!
I’d try to sort out the romantic and philosophical issues, but I’m still reeling from the mental image of Coldfire in the midst of intensive fluff maintenance.
I can think of many, many bodily functions I’d just as soon people kept to themselves, farting not first among them. In fact, I’d like to see a few more taboos come into their own. Blowing one’s nose, for instance, especially when people are eating. It’s so … graphic.
Ayesha – well, shit howdy, woman! I belched around you at the get together in Houston… were you like really shocked? Horrified? Fuck me running but damn, those beers were good and it was either belch at that moment or fart later in the car… I thought I, being the lady that I am, took the higher road.
Well Byz, I gotta tell ya, since you asked, taking that big ole dump in the morning is probably the most satisfying thing I do every day. But it’s better if I rip off a good string of farts first. It’s best to relieve a bit of pressure before ya get down to the serious business.
Is that what you wanted to hear?
“There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences.”
~P.J. O’Rourke~
I’m not uptight about farts. I think they are very funny!!! Must be a fart faq written describing the types of farts there are!
Dutch oven: Fart and pull the blankets over the person next to you in bed. Isn’t that funny?
Oh, for those wondering:
1fart "fart\ [ME ferten, farten; akin to OHG ferzan to break wind, ON freta, Gk perdesthai, Skt pardate he breaks wind] (13c)
verb intransitive
: to expel intestinal gas from the anus — often considered vulgar
I am notorious for burping and farting. Especially when I’m talking on the phone with my friends. They all seem to get a kick out of it. I’m not very shy though.
Sometimes after I burp I say, “Cheated my ass out of that one.”
I also heard something today that I thought was pretty funny… “Why fart and waste it when you can burp and taste it!”
Or after belching you can say, “Damn, I don’t remember eating that!”
“There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences.”
~P.J. O’Rourke~
Other fun things to say in the wake of a burp or fart (choose the most appropriate one based on the length, tone and timber of the eructation/gaseous expulsion)
“Did somebody step on a duck?”
“Watch out everyone…there’s a barking spider in the room!”
An ex boyfriend of mine wouldn’t fart in front of me, and he hated to even do so in a bathroom within hearing distance. When he absolutely had to, he’d say, “Sorry, I stepped on a frog in here.”
UncleBeer – yep, that’s what I wanted to read. I’m so easily entertained! One question though… do you read in the bathroom? If so, what do you read?
Ayesha – you don’t fart! The Lion does all the farting for you two, I know. Remember? I sat NEXT to him!
Sealemon88 – you DID kick me out of the car! I think the whole reason I had to go into the 7-11 with Lion and Beatle was so you and Ayesha could fart! I thought it WAS the chemical plants in La Porte but now I know it was the chemical plant in your shorts!
