When did you feel comfortable farting in front of your boyfriend/girlfriend? Personally, I never felt comfortable doing that. However, my 2nd boyfriend farted on our first date, very loudly. He was apparently quite proud of his ability to make loud anal noises. I eventually ended up moving in with him and we were together for almost 15 years. He farted quite regularly throughout the relationship, and I found it quite disgusting after a few years. He used it as a “weapon” .
My 3rd boyfriend used to fart a lot too, but he tried to be discreet about it at least.
The reason I’m asking is that my 4th and final (hopefully) boyfriend and I were play wrestling on the living room floor the other night and he squeezed me hard and I farted. We both laughed like it was the funniest thing ever. Oddly, I didn’t feel embarrassed.
A group of us were sitting around one day, and an unmarried girl asked my friend Paige if she felt comfortable farting around her husband. Paige grinned and said “Honey, whenever possible, I fart ON my husband!”
My husband is a farter, sometimes a dangerous one. The 4 & 7 year old boys think he’s the greatest. It has become quite the bodily function-fest in this house lately…
Discretion amongst ourselves appears to be impossible. I have tried to explain to the boys that public, school, church, etc, are different and require better manners. I am fighting an uphill battle against this house full of boys.
This story is probably my favorite story concerning my ex. We were sleeping together, and after a whole day of stifling ass gas, it was pent up. Her room was on the first floor, right next to the driveway. So I’m dreaming. In my dream, I fart. So I think “Hey, you can’t fart. You’re by the woman!”
Little do I know, I’m really farting. The first blast wakes her up and convinces her that the sound came from a large truck in the driveway.
So, in my dream, I let the rest rip. She realizes that the sound is coming straight outta my anus. She realizes that I just woke her up with my ass (and it REALLY smells) so she jabs me with her elbow and wakes me up.
I have a theory (and loads of people agree with me) that you can’t really be with somebody unless you can fart around them. It’s a comfort thing. We’d been talking about it at work one night and a coworker said she wouldn’t dream of farting in front of her husband. So I explained my theory to her. That night, she went home and let one rip. Her husband was like, “Have you been drinking?” Ha.
People fart. I don’t really get what the big deal is about that.
It’s a natural human bodily function. It’s totally normal. And occasionally smelly. My friends and I will occasionally pause and twist to the side to release one and everyone leaves you a wide berth as that occurs. If we’re sitting down, one particular girl will get this huge grin and will announce ‘I JUST FARTED!’
We’re quite juvenile. I’ve had one forced out of me, during a cough or sneeze and my boyfriend says my look of surprise as it happens is quite hilarious. He’ll occasionally let one slip by accident when we’re on the couch but unless it smells, I don’t move. If it smells, he’s on his own. I wouldn’t expect him to hang around if I let a smelly one rip.
Well, hell. Let’s not get too clinical about them, okay?
Remember, somebody had to make them unacceptable somewhere in history, and somebody had to start that gigglin’ when one got locked, loaded and shot, 'cause they do make a cute little sound, and sometimes they do carry a little bit of a whiffy.
I guess what I’m saying is we don’t need to overlook the comic effect of a fart by just saying it’s a natural thing and just dismissing it as such.
Yeah it’s a “natural thing”, but when it happens in church or any other solemn occasion, damn, don’t you just wanna bust loose, and just, (hell, I don’t know!) LAUGH?
Valentine’s Day in Las Vegas. Drachillix and I had enjoyed a show and a romantic dinner and he left me at the back door of the casino to get the truck–my high heels wouldn’t teeter out into the parking lot. Or maybe it was all the alcohol, either way. Three young men noticed my being unescorted and exclaimed their admiration/concern/did I need another drink? I assured them I had someone on the way, **Drachillix ** arrived to fetch me and I happily climbed in and, feeling quite saucy, started to related how I got hit on. Mid-sentence, without warning, I farted so hard I swear it lifted me off the seat. Long and loud and smelly. I was jaw-droppingly shocked. I am quite a girly girl—I do not acknowlege farts or call them farts. I pass gas. My girlfriend, while pregnant, would let one rip and say “That’s the baby saying I love you” Drachillix now says " That’s my ass saying I love you"
Whenever we hear “What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas”, we think of my tremendous fart.
I drink a lot of beer, and beer can be, well, super-fuel for the fires of our insides. One night after downing a few my girlfriend and I went to bed. We’re no strangers from having a few barking spiders taking up residence in our room, so it’s not particularly surprising to hear a few trouser growls from time to time.
However, on this night around 2:00am or so I must have really, really cut loose as my girlfriend sat straight up, gasping in horror as she thought that for sure I’d shote the bed. I was awoken by a desperate woman meekly feeling around between my legs, sure she was about to find a horrible surprise. When I woke enough to ask what she was doing, she told me and I about fell out of bed laughing.
Holy crap that’s some love right there. If my SO did that I would have ripped the sheets off of him and screamed “MOVE!” as I searched for his surprise. I would NOT have touched around there. Then again I’m a germaphobe. shudder
I was standing in a book store several years ago when a man in a raincoat, standing at the end of a row of bookshelves reading a magazine, cut one loose. It started out in one key, changed key several times and must have lasted for thirty seconds. I almost expected the guy to lift off the ground. The funny thing was he seemed oblivious to the fact that he was farting loudly and long in a very public place.
and here i thought the dive master was the only living creature to use that term!! if not those pesky spiders, then we just blame it on one of the four dogs that are never more than three steps away from either of us at any time.
I can’t believe I’m using my first post for a fart thread after my long career as a lurker for a fart thread, butt… (er, but…)
Mrs. Theater and I typically end up sleeping back to back so she’s been the recipient of my farts on more than one occasion. Only a few weeks after we were married I apparently ripped one in my sleep of the type that could be accompanied by its own mushroom cloud directly at her at which point she screamed and I awoke to a very pissed off new bride. Ah…the joys of marriage.
Years ago, I was on a date with a nice “preacher’s daughter” type… It was our first date and I was driving her back to her family’s farmhouse. Suddenly, she turned to me and said “I have something in my pants that is just dying to get out!.. Do you mind?”
Being the gentleman I am, I told her that it would be “Just fine!”
So, she let rip…
We dated for yrs after that, and just relating it now brings a grin to my face…
I used to date this guy who had incredible sexual stamina. He could and would go for hours at a time, with occasional pauses to lube up (it relates to farting, I promise!) I was not used to this, and though it was great it was really kind of difficult to get used to the marathon fucking. One day while we were going at it I just couldn’t take all the pressure and the thrusting and I farted. Loudly. He kind of stopped for a second, registered what happened, shrugged and kept going. We never spoke of it again, but every so often I think of that moment and I laugh!
Girlfriend in college farted in my face while I was going down on her. She got the worst case of the giggles you can imagine, which is not exactly an anti-farting measure.
Last girlfriend would fart all the time; we got to that stage of comfort in the relationship pretty quickly. I didn’t mind except sometimes it would smell like she’d eaten the entire sulphur output of Uzbekistan, really reeked the whole room up. She’d run to the bathroom and turn on the fan, the cats would go hide under the bed and the plants would wilt.
Long ago, when I lived with a boyfriend, I’d just had one of those bad intestinal days. Tons and tons of gas. I could feel it hit every nook and cranny from my transverse colon on down. I came to understand the meaning of “bloat and discomfort”.
I was in the bedroom, boyfriend was in the living room. I was trying to work out to my exercise video, and when I got to a particular stretch, I must have brought the stars into alignment. It rattled the windows and carried on for at least ten seconds. Dogs barked. Canadian geese left their migratory path. I just hung in there, relieved beyond words.
Then I heard my boyfriend from the other room in a stunned voice. “Daaaaaaaaamn, baby!”
The wife claims she never farts. And she doesn’t, not when she’s awake. But when she’s asleep, all that pent up pressure lets loose. It shakes the bed, wakes me up and scares the cat out of the room. What’s even more humorous is the fact that she’s got a largish caboose, so it gets the buttcheeks flapping and sets up a nice reverb effect. Somehow she never wakes herself up with these explosions, so she can maintain plausible deniability.
One of the great comic moments bestowed upon us via the internet is the series of Robert Tilton Fart Videos. Nothing like watching his facial expressions as he makes “a joyful noise”. #2 is my favorite.
In central PA, owing to the large HD factory, they aren’t called barking spiders, but instead are referred to as “Mouse on a Harley.”
