We have a funny little Pitbull/Lab mix named Joe. He is, what I call, assileptic. He gets all happy and his tail starts wagging, then his entire ass is wiggling out of control. The entire time his face has a happy, proud look on it. Tounge out, ears half cocked, ass moving and totaly disconnected from his brain.
Whenever my wife or I let one pop, almost in unison my wife and I go “JOE?!?”
He gets up, proudly walks around with his ass out of control and he seems very pleased with himself - even though is wasn’t REALLY his fart.
Sometimes we blame the cat but the reaction from her is far less entertaining.
I don’t remember when we got the the point of being comfortable farting around each other - must have been early on because I remember one weekend when we were newlyweds… we’d eaten lunch at a Shoney’s, that had all-you-can-eat soup, and some soup involving beans was majorly YUMMO. We were out of town, staying at a Holiday Inn, and I’m pretty sure the hotel had to repaint the room we stayed in
My MIL once asked my SIL (newly living-with a fellow, and they’d just gotten officially engaged): “But are you comfortable with each other? can you FART around each other??”.
My husband is the real pro when it comes to farting. Generally high overall level of both frequency and toxicity. (though I’m less prolific, when I really get going I peel paint off of trucks 20 miles away). Most evenings, I wind up accusing him of eating roadkill for lunch.
Never had a dog to blame for this but I did once lay the blame on one of the babies. Now that they’re older I can’t get away with that any more :mad:
[QUOTE=Cyn]
Valentine’s Day in Las Vegas. Drachillix and I had enjoyed a show and a romantic dinner and he left me at the back door of the casino to get the truck–my high heels wouldn’t teeter out into the parking lot. Or maybe it was all the alcohol, either way. Three young men noticed my being unescorted and exclaimed their admiration/concern/did I need another drink? I assured them I had someone on the way, **Drachillix ** arrived to fetch me and I happily climbed in and, feeling quite saucy, started to related how I got hit on. Mid-sentence, without warning, I farted so hard I swear it lifted me off the seat. Long and loud and smelly. I was jaw-droppingly shocked. I am quite a girly girl—I do not acknowlege farts or call them farts. I pass gas. My girlfriend, while pregnant, would let one rip and say “That’s the baby saying I love you” Drachillix now says " That’s my ass saying I love you"
Whenever we hear “What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas”, we think of my tremendous fart.
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That’s hilarious!
I don’t fart in front of anyone. My husband farts with abandon. I think “man butt” is different from “woman butt.” They just fart more. I dunno why…they just do.
Oh, and there was the time (quite recent) where my spouse had been running errands in the car. He came home to pick the rest of us up for some outing. Kids and I got in the car and it, well, reeked.
[QUOTE=stochastic]
The wife claims she never farts. And she doesn’t, not when she’s awake. But when she’s asleep, all that pent up pressure lets loose. It shakes the bed, wakes me up and scares the cat out of the room. What’s even more humorous is the fact that she’s got a largish caboose, so it gets the buttcheeks flapping and sets up a nice reverb effect. Somehow she never wakes herself up with these explosions, so she can maintain plausible deniability.
In the early stages of dating my fiance, I wouldn’t fart around her. We were both in college at the time and I lived in a house with 3 other guys. We would hang out in my room and watch movies. If I really had one building up, I would excuse myself and go into the bathroom and let her rip. Or if I did actually have to go to the bathroom, I would take the opportunity to let out any pent up gas.
I’ve been with her for over four years now and she just recently told me that my efforts were in vain. Either we had very thin wallls in that house or I have a very vocal anus, but she heard me every time I let one buck. Sometimes I think it is a miracle that she is still with me.
FWIW, we are now past that point and freely fart in front of each other. My only request is that she not fart ON me if we are snuggling.
The only time I fart freely with anyone else around is with my mom. If I let one rip I giggle and say “Pardon me” as if it was a surprise. If it’s a long loud one, she can identify and says “Ah, so satifying!” in sisterhood with how relieved I must feel!
[QUOTE=Kalhoun]
I think “man butt” is different from “woman butt.” They just fart more. I dunno why…they just do.
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You’ve never been to my house :D.
I think we started early on - I accidentally let one rip in the middle of sex, and after that, it was on. Honestly, it’s a bit of a contest now, and I can out-fart him like mad. We usually blame it on the cats.
However, I gave birth to the gassiest baby ever, and he’s trying to take my title. ElzaHub was holding him one day last week, and I heard this gigantic fart come from the vicinity of the chair. Looked over and ElzaHub was in hysterics - I’d assumed he had done it, but apparently, this giant ppppppffffffffttttttt had come out of our son’s tiny little butt.
I think my favorite SO fart story is when my girlfriend dutch-ovened herself!
We’d woke up on some lazy Sunday morning, and were lying there together peacefully. At her house, I usually sleep on top of the covers, because it’s usually warmer than I’d prefer.
This particular morning, it was chilly, so I was all up under the covers.
I let one rip- loud and noxious. The rest went something like this:
Girlfriend: <sniff> <sour face> <dives under covers>
Girlfriend: “AAAGH! It’s under here too!” <emerges from covers quickly>
Me: “Too? That’s where it started.”
Her: “You usually sleep on top of the covers; that’s why I went under. I was trying to escape!”
[QUOTE=Elza B]
I think we started early on - I accidentally let one rip in the middle of sex, and after that, it was on. Honestly, it’s a bit of a contest now, and I can out-fart him like mad. We usually blame it on the cats.
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I occasionally hang out with the three teenaged boys my friend spawned. One time I had to let loose and thought, what the hell, they’re teen boys. Turns out there are feats of flatulence even they hadn’t achieved before.
BTW, I love the colorful language and expressions we have all come up with around this phenomenon. So cute.
We’re a family of proud farters at my house. We also have wooden dining room chairs, which amplify the littlest squeaker into a mighty shriek. I tells ya, if they had that type of chair in the schools, no one would ever graduate.
I had a precautionary sigmoidoscopy, which involves a tiny camera inserted in the bottom to check the bowel. Not painful, just weird.
So the medical staff explained what would happen. They asked if a (beautiful blonde) medical student could observe the procedure.
So the tube is inserted and air is pumped gently up to keep the tube inflated.
The doctor gives me the all-clear and I’m thinking of asking the sudent out when they remove the tube.
[QUOTE=glee]
I’ve posted this before, but I can’t resist.
I had a precautionary sigmoidoscopy, which involves a tiny camera inserted in the bottom to check the bowel. Not painful, just weird.
So the medical staff explained what would happen. They asked if a (beautiful blonde) medical student could observe the procedure.
So the tube is inserted and air is pumped gently up to keep the tube inflated.
The doctor gives me the all-clear and I’m thinking of asking the sudent out when they remove the tube.
And I fart continuously for 57 seconds… :eek:
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Oh man. You should’ve asked her out right in front of everyone, the very instant you got done! How could she resist such an icebreaker?
[QUOTE=stochastic]
The wife claims she never farts. And she doesn’t, not when she’s awake. But when she’s asleep, all that pent up pressure lets loose. It shakes the bed, wakes me up and scares the cat out of the room. What’s even more humorous is the fact that she’s got a largish caboose, so it gets the buttcheeks flapping and sets up a nice reverb effect. Somehow she never wakes herself up with these explosions, so she can maintain plausible deniability.
I’m a dead man if she ever reads this.
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Ah, yes… the “cheek resonance” theory of differences in fart modulation. My husband and I have had a philosophical debates about this, as I felt somewhat embarassed that my farting, though less noxious and frequent, was louder. He also has the “ass hair muffler” adjunct theory which he claims suppresses his noise factor.
My SO and I have never discussed this. I think I’ll bring it up soon. (No, not that!) We do burp in front of each other as long as we say “Excuse Me”.
Anyone heard of a “Covered Wagon”? This is when you fart in bed with your wife and pull the covers over her head. EEK!
[QUOTE=Jake]
My SO and I have never discussed this. I think I’ll bring it up soon. (No, not that!) We do burp in front of each other as long as we say “Excuse Me”.
Anyone heard of a “Covered Wagon”? This is when you fart in bed with your wife and pull the covers over her head. EEK!
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See post #31 where Bump refers to the same thing but calls it the Dutch Oven.
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