Aye, I do be liking the self-serve fountains, fortune prick me if I do no.
(Sorry about the accent, but your name just triggers it for me :p).
Only problem I have with self-service fountains is that I inevitably end up trying to use the tap that has no syrup, and getting a mouthful of pure CO[sub]2[/sub] instead of my Sprite. Luckily, most places that have them will have more than one tap with the same drink.
As far as Fast Food hell goes, yeah, I’ve been there. I live exactly one block from a nice, spacious Wendy’s, and I really tried to like it. Unfortunately, I had a problem nearly every time I was there - I was given the wrong size combo, wrong price for the combo (I always ordered the same thing, so i knew the prices, right down to the penny with tax), and a couple of times, instead of giving me my proper sandwich, they just disguised a regular hamburger with a little bacon, and acted surprised when I told them to redo it. I knew one of the managers there, though, and I was always able to resolve things with whoever was in charge, so I kept going there (hey, it’s right next to my house). Until…
I stopped in one evening, pretty late, so all the traffic was coming through the drive through. I should have taken the cue and gone through that way myself, but I usually ate inside. Once I got in line, though, there was, literally, nobody there. I could see two people serving the drive through, and two more in the kitchen, but nobody was cashiering up front. That didn’t bother me, yet, because I’ve worked plenty of retail, and I know how it is when you don’t have the staff on hand to do the work. Hell, I’d been in there before, when the only counter person was a single manager who was also handling the drive through headset, while making orders and taking money in the front. However, I waited for a full five minutes before anyone even came up front to check whether there might, in fact, be customers there.
“'Scuze me,” sez I, In a fairly reasonable voice, “but I’ve been waiting pretty long.”
The response: “Sir, we are Very Busy, someone will be with you shortly. please wait your turn.” This was delivered in an actual offended voice, precisely as if I had called her mother an Assistant Crack Whore, rather than offering to give her money in exchange for goods and services. It was, furthermore, delivered to an entirely empty queue line; I was still the only person there, though I’m certain the drive through was still busy.
She left. Five more minutes passed. Finally, she came back. I ordered: Sandwich, fries, drink.
She called my order to the cooks, and was about to get my fries and drink, when another customer walked in. To her credit, she didn’t walk away from him the way she had from me. Still counting against her was the fact that she had walked away from me. She took his order: Sandwich, fries, drink.
Now, as it happened, the crew had already made my sandwich, and I could see it ready. For some reason, though, she decided to serve the line in reverse order- guy who just walked in here, here’s your stuff. As I watched this I noticed, with dread, that she had scraped up the very last of the french fries to give him.
“Miss, what about my order?” sez I, calmly, evenly and reasonably, as the guy from behind me in line disappeared out the door with what I was distressingly certain were my french fries. I wanted to be certain, you see.
“Fries are out, it’ll be ready in four minutes.”
“I see,” sez I, yet more evenly than before. When I am angry, I do not yell; I am utterly, damningly calm. “You know, I’ve already been waiting here ten minutes”
“I saw that, sir.” Again, the voice carried an absolute certainty that I had forcibly taken her brother’s oral virginity.
“You just gave the last of the french fries to someone who had only been here for a second.”
“Sir, I have to thaw the fries. They will be ready in four minutes.” From her mouth, sir was the foulest of epithets, the very voice of contempt. There was no need for her to explain her actions to some worm on the toe of her boot.
“You could easily have served me first,” I said, and with the most frigid tone that I could muster.
“Sir, your fries will be served in four minutes,” she said, and walked off.
“You can cancel the order; I would like my money back.” I said this to her, but she was leaving, and she chose not to hear me.
“Pardon Me, But I Would Like My Money Back,” I said, loudly. I do not normally speak loudly, but she left me no choice- there was nobody left at the front counter. I heard scurrying, and muttering, and about a minute later another employee came to the front.
“Can I help you, sir?” said this new face, though it was clear from her tone that help meant throw out of the store.
“My order is taking far too long; I would like to cancel it and have my money refunded.”
“Yes, sir, I’ll have to have my manager do that for you,” said she, and began to walk away. Caution made me speak to her before she left.
“Was that your manager that I was speaking to just now?”
“Yes, sir.”
“Fuck it” I said to myself. To her: “I hope the crack whores give her mother that promotion she’s in line for.”
It did me good to imagine the sight of a tiny cartoon question mark over the clerk’s head as she tried to process this information. I never got a chance to see it, though, because my feet were already out the door.
Needless to say, I haven’t been back since.