It’s mouthbreather. I just know it’s mouthbreather.
He’s the President of American Movie Classics, and all the while he was saying those mean things, he was rubbing his hands with glee at the idea of the expression on Eve’s face when he sprung this invitation on her.
Congrats Eve, you’ve got BUZZ!!!
Good luck!
Uh-oh, Ike—if you’re right, I’ll probably get a message next week: “We took a look at your audition tape, and after doing Danny Thomas spit-takes, we all agreed that you are MUCH too old and ugly to be on TV. Sorry, grandma!”
Great news, Eve! I didn’t even know American Motors Corp. was planning a comeback! I had one of their cars when I was in high school - an AMC Hornet. That thing was a tank! A girlfriend drove it up a tree one day. Literally up a tree. The only thing touching the ground was the back bumper. A farmer with a tractor pulled it down, and I drove it away. American Motors, how cool! And y’know, if you can’t get any other work, hosting car commercials is probably ok.
Good Luck!
Best wishes Eve. I think I hear the sound of champagne flowing already.
I will not conduct my own fire drils.
Congratulations, Eve! 
I’m reminded of a story: The king went to his wise men and asked them for something that would make him happy when he was sad, and sad when he was happy. The wise men came back with a ring that was inscribed, “This too shall pass.”
The moral of this story is, no matter what’s happening, good or bad, you’ll have something different tomorrow. So, enjoy the present in the present, and don’t borrow worry from tomorrow.
So, what’s Greg Brady really like? 
(and congrats)
Wonderful news, Eve! Best of luck, and keep us posted.
Jodi
Fiat Justitia
Eve says (paraphrasing): I have a multitude of blessings raining on my head today! Then SingleDad says
Is that supposed to cheer her up?
Good luck Eve! Tell them that if they give the job to someone else there will be a crowd of irate dopers boycotting AMC, and they will have another Laura Schlessinger / Paramount fiasco on their hands.
Eve–What have you written? I’m not all that into biographies (usually), but if someone I know (sort of) wrote it, I want to check it out.
Jeannie, here are Eve’s books on Amazon.
Disclaimer: I am in no way affiliated with Amazon.com or Eve, and do not profit from the sales of these books.
Vamp : The Rise and Fall of Theda Bara
Thanks, Arnold. I didn’t know Eve’s full name, so looking it up woulda been kinda tough.
Eve, I will check those out.
Eve, that is so amazingly cool! You deserve it. I’m keeping my fingers crossed for you!
Not to put a damper on it, but… If you get the job, will you still have time to hang out here? Or are you going to be busy with all your “new” friends?
Oh well. Good luck anyway.
It is too clear, and so it is hard to see.
Lady Eve,
am dispatching evil twin Chas. to take care of this so-called “Greg Brady” post-haste. While he is an evil twin, he’s not so evil as to wish the furtherance of the career of anyone associated with that particular nadir or culture to thrive.
Then he’s off to give a jolly good spanking to Marie Osmond.
Best of luck old topper. This is quite ripping, what?
Lord Buckminster
Thanks, all! Don’t worry, ZenBeam—if I get the job, I will start the segment either by sweeping majestically onto the set like Loretta Young, or I’ll be “surprised” at my laptop: “Oh, hello, everyone! I was just chatting with my friends on the SDMB!”
I’m back to AMC today, to drop off some of my writing and a ludicrously flatting photo. And to remind them that I will, indeed, put out for this job.
Way to go, Eve! I just want you to know that when those AMC goons called me for your background check, they said you weren’t fit to sleep with pigs…but I defended you and told them you were.
Seriously, I hope you get it. You’re a lot more interesting than that geeky guy who introduces the movies now.
Live a Lush Life
Da Chef
A “flatting” photo? Urk, I shudder to think what that must be like . . .
Thanks, Chef—did you give them a list of the pigs I’ve slept with?
The only ones I mentioned by name were Babe and Rupert Murdoch.
I was confused by the mention of a “flatting” photo too…I thought the camera added ten pounds.
Live a Lush Life
Da Chef
BEst of luck, Eve!
And ditch the pessimism. The best way to do that is to bury it in a container of Ben & Jerry’s New York Super Fudge Chunk Ice Cream. You see, first you have to empty the container…
The best thing about the above method is that if the good thing happens, it’s a celebration, and if the bad one happens, it’s comfort. Perfect no-fail excuse!
Chaim Mattis Keller
ckeller@kozmo.com
“Sherlock Holmes once said that once you have eliminated the
impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be
the answer. I, however, do not like to eliminate the impossible.
The impossible often has a kind of integrity to it that the merely improbable lacks.”
– Douglas Adams’s Dirk Gently, Holistic Detective