Father, forgive him, for he is a butthead :Jesus rolleyes smiley:

The BBQ Pit
1

Boy-O! I’ve read other threads on the subject of Fred Phelps, and knew he was a few fries shy of a happy meal, but did not grasp that his level was this far off of plumb. After reading an article in today’s Patriot-News, I’ve concluded that this guy is nuttier than a truckload of Skippy™ extra-crunchy.

It is truly a shame that people such as he obtain access to the media so they can spew their vitriol to the masses. I can only hope that when he visits Central PA later this month, one of our infamous potholes swallows him and his cadre of hatemongers.

If the picture he paints of eternity is accurate, include me out, thanks.

2

My my my. Nothing overly new in that article, but this:

is … so very interesting. On so many levels. I don’t know quite what to say.

3

Dammit. You beat me to this.

It’s a shame I can’t get to Lebanon to be part of the counter-protest.

Robin

4

  • Oh Lord, please do burn us,
    And grill and toast your flock,
    Please put us on the barbecue,
    Or simmer us in stock,
    Please braise or bake or boil us,
    Or stir-fry us in a wok…

    Oh please just lightly poach us,
    Or baste us with hot fat,
    Do fricassee or roast us,
    Or boil us in a vat,
    And please do stick thy servants Lord,
    In a Rotissomat…*

5

Woe is me! I knew I was damned by Fred as I have gay friends :eek: but now I’ve been damned by MsRobyn, too. :frowning:

Now to figure out what shade of sackcloth goes best with these ashes…hmmm… :stuck_out_tongue:

6

I hear black is very slimming. Also humbling.

I suppose there’s no point in exposing the logical fallacy presented by Phelps in that article re: loving fags and hating America? Then again I’m not sure his knowledge isn’t confined to those few verses in Leviticus he has highlighted. Were I feeling less sorry for the guy I might entertain the notion of him beating off to them à la “Thou shalt not … oh God yeah, thou shalt not … mmm, right there! Abomination! YES! ABOMINATION! OH GOD YES! HATE THY NEIGHBOR! DON’T STOP HATING, GOD! DON’T EVER STOP!”

7

If nothing else, this man is dedicated. Besides, it’s funny that he has Falwell and Graham pegged.

8

Fred jumped the shark when he declared Mister Rogers was burning in hell.

Mister freaking Rogers, for crissakes.

Phelps is crazy. Anymore, I just laugh at him. When Jerry Falwell tells you you’re too homophobic, that’s when you know you need help.

9

:smiley:

10

I probably missed this, so I’ll just ask for a repeat of info: when is our dear friend Freddy coming to Lebanon? That’s not too far from me; I might have to put in an appearance.

11

This has probably been linked to before: http://godhatesshrimp.com

12

Now there’s an album cover waiting to happen.

13

You know, just thinking outside the box, here, ratings-wise, Phelps could have an excellent second career as host of a game on the David Letterman show:

Letterman: Thanks Paul. What a Top 10 list, eh? So let’s keep this gravy train moving and move on to our next bit, right? (Cue spooky rock music, logo fades in)

“Fred Phelps’ Heaven? Or HELL!”

Phelps comes out on stage

Letterman: OK, Fred, you know how the game goes, we give you a list of persons, places and things, and you tell us which way the guy up above’s going to send them. So here we go. Candidate #1 . . . Ann Landers

Fred: “An impenitent, Christ-rejecting, ungodly sinner whose words were hard speeches blaspheming God. . . . . HELL!”

Letterman: OK, a little over-the-top, but I see your point. How about Cher?

Fred: “A dyke-pimp because her daughter Chastity became gay when her absentee mom left her in the care of an older lesbian . . . HELL!”

Letterman: All right, here’s a toughie, how about Canada? Now, I’m guessing heaven here, right Fred?

Fred: “A sodomite police state, where Gospel preachers are prosecuted and fined and imprisoned for preaching that homosexuals are vile, Hell-bound sinners. . . . HELL!”

Letterman: Thank you, Fred, for coming on the show tonight and playing . . . (cue spooky rock music from Paul and the boys) . . . “Fred Phelps’ Heaven? Or HELL!”

(BTW: All Phelps quotes are direct from the Patriot-News article).

14

Mr. Phelps, consider yourself warned (as if he reads this website :rolleyes: ).

I read a link Baker gave us to his biography once. It was truly appalling. I’m not sure what it is he worships, but it looks to me like it stopped being Christ many, many years ago. If one believes evil exists in this world, and I do, he worships it.

CJ

15

Oh dear. I am SO glad that I don’t have my Sea-Monkeys (brine shrimp) in front of the computer, as I usually do. I’d hate for them to get a complex. ::snicker::

16

I can’t imagine why anyone would want anything to do with Phred’s version of God; sure, the alternative is eternal torment, but what kind of party is heaven going to be if, when you get there, God sullenly says 'Well, I suppose you’d better come in, since I couldn’t find a good enough reason to burn you"

17

Man! Nuttier than a nut-flavoured nut bar with a sprinkling of nuts on top washed down with an extra big glass of nut juice.

What’s scarey is he’s managed to keep all but four of his thirteen children and their families to buy into his crazed world view. I can only guess they don’t get to mix much with other people.

18

And in other news, circles are round. Ish.

:wink:

19

Too much fagjunk theology spewed by sodomite propagandists.

However, if he’s to be taken at his word that he’s the only one who loves the fags*, this would be one place to be to reach some.

How horrible is it that I have a mental image of Kyle from South Park singing "It’s Hard to be a Christian* in Fagland?", with lyrics transposed from the original “It’s Hard to be a Jew on Christmas”?"
**Christian by Fred’s definition; by same definition, I don’t think we’d get into triple digits counting the number of same in the world, once you get past his own kin, since the purpetrators of the Spanish Inquisition are now all dead.

20

Oh, that was good!

Really, is sanity even an option when someone thinks that hate somehow equals love for people?