In order to celebrate the 39th anniversary of Bob & Earl’s Harlem Shuffle being released in the UK, I recently decided to devote what few resources I have left into mastering this most challenging of dance routines.
I’m OK with moving it to the left (yeah) and the right (ditto) very slowly indeed, and I can scratch like a monkey with the best of them. Even the limbo itself isn’t a problem (I’m reasonably fit) but I firmly believe it’s impossible to hitch-hike across the floor moving left and right, and to replicate effectively the many and varied scratching motions of a simian primate at the same time.
I refuse to believe that Bob & Earl are the only songwriters in history to release an untested product into the marketplace, and I seek further examples of poorly thought-out instructions issued in the guise of a song lyric.
completely ignores the practical realities of forensic technology. It may be as easy to learn as your ABC, but you can’t become a serial killer (as the song suggests you aspire to) if you get caught so easily!
Well, the jump to the left and the step to the right are pretty clear. Hands on your hips and bringing your knees in tight aren’t so bad either. But advising a pelvic thrust that nearly drives you insane is probably negligent somehow.
I danced if I wanted to and left my friends behind. Now I’m dancing all by myself like a loser! And I twisted my ankle, so I don’t think I was dancing safely.
In Sheryl Crow’s “Maybe Angels,” she tells us that she took the I-95 down to Pensacola. Well, I hope nobody is using this song as a melodic TripTik, because the closest I-95 comes to P’cola is about 360 miles.
“All you need is love.” Now that’s a myth: I tried it once, but found that you need food, drink, somewhere to sleep, and quite a few other things to survive.
One time in High School, upon getting “the eye” from a girl, I (per instruction) reached in my locker, grabbed a Spanish Fly, put it with the Monkey, mixed it in the cup, went over to the girl, and said “Yo baby, what’s up?”
I then offered her a sip, and predictably the girl she gave me lip, but alas at no point after that did it begin the stuff wore in and then she was on my tip.
I cut a hole in the box and threw some junk in the box and I had her open the box, but most of the junk just fell out the hole and what was left did not impress her at all. I followed their instructions, am I missing something?
And I recalled all I had to do was bust a move! But alas… they never told me WHAT move. Thanks for telling me all the scenarios in which Moves needed to be busted, but yet, your critical flaw: you never told me what to do! :smack:
So in the end, I was standin’ on the wall like I was Poindexter.
