SMDB has had it’s share of threads that point out bad lyrics:
Lyrics with a flaw
All-time laziest song lyrics[URL=“http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=565359”]Lyrics that give you pause… In a bad way.
Worst lyrics in rock/pop music
etc.
Let’s hear your improved versions…e.g.
For the Stones’ “Mother’s Little Helper”…instead of
*
And if you take more of those
You will get an overdose*
:dubious:
My fix:
…
You will surely overdose
Styx’s “Come Sail Away”
I look to the sea reflections in the waves spark my memory
Some happy some sad
I think of childhood friends and the dreams we had
We live happily forever so the story goes
But somehow we missed out on that pot of gold
But we’ll try best that we can to carry on
Shouldn’t it be “We lived happily ever after the story’s told”
The expression is “happily ever after”, and “told” rhymes with “gold.”
Hate it when a word is rhymed with itself. A few fixes:
But she never lost her head
Even when she was giving head
But she never lost her head
Even when her legs were spread
Generals gathered in their masses,
just like witches at black masses.
Generals gathered in their masses,
wearing big Gucci sunglasses.
Never opened myself this way
Life is ours, we live it our way
Never opened myself this way
Snickers, Mounds, Almond Joy, PayDay
Fixing Highway Star is gonna take a while.
Avril Lavigne’s My happy ending:
Lets talk this over,
It’s not like we’re dead,
Was it something I did,
Was it something you said
Should be “Was it something you did, was it something I said.”
He could be feeling guilty about something he did but why would he get mad about something he said?
Lost and giving head is wordplay. Does not need changing.
Generals with their poison gasses, just like witches at black masses. Witches and black masses is evocative and in theme with the song.
Never opened myself this way, life is ours we live for today, better aligns with message of song than candy bars.
nm see below
Agreed on the first. I’d leave the second one alone, too. I think it’s perfect as is. The third I never even noticed was an identity rhyme in the song. Just doesn’t stick out to me. Though the candy bar fix does make me chuckle. 
America, A Horse with No Name:
There were plants and birds and rocks and things
There was sand and hills and rings
change to:
There were plants and birds and rocks and oases
There was sand and hills and feces
mmm
In “I’ll be Home for Christmas”, surely it should be “presents under the tree”, not “presents ooo-oon the tree”. Who puts presents on the tree? Especially when it means you need to stretch a two-letter word out to two syllables?
Gimme Three Steps by Lynyrd Skynyrd
“Wait a minute mister
I didn’t even kiss her”
I think it should be
“Wait a minute mister
I never even kissed her”
From Disturbed’s Prayer:
“Living just isn’t hard enough
Burn me alive, inside
Living my life’s not hard enough
Take everything away”
It’s not so much that it’s broken, but rather, what it sounds like when listening to it. I’ve always parsed it as “Heaven’s just not hot enough”, which seems more fitting in context of the song.
Les Miserables, “Castle on a Cloud”:
There is a room that’s full of toys
There are a hundred boys and girls
Should be “girls and boys”!
The Jackson 5, “I’ll Be There”
If you should ever find someone new
I know he’d better be good to you
'Cuz if he doesn’t, I’ll be there
Should be “isn’t”.
“Generals sitting on their asses” works for me.
Sheryl Crow’s breakout hit, All I Wanna Do
Then he lights every match in an oversized pack
Letting each one burn down to his thick fingers
before blowing and cursing them out
um…
“before cursing and blowing them out…”
because if you’re cursing enough to make a match go out, that’s no language to use in front of a lady.
I think we could devote a whole thread to fixing that infamously clunky line from* Jessie’s Girl*
Ya know I feel so dirty when they start talking cute
I wanna tell her that I lover her but the point is probably moot
. . .I wanna tell her that I love her from her bonnet to her boot
. . .It’s like my heart’s an open treasure chest and she stole all the loot
. . . When I see her my heart pounds like an Alaskan Malamute
Tell me any one of those would not be better than Mr. Springfield’s lyric 
Bobby Goldsboro’s *Honey *attempts to rhyme “what the heck” with “hugged my neck”. OK, technically it rhymes, but it is the clunkiest lyric. I don’t think a fix is possible.
And, on a slightly different note, Joan Baez’ Diamonds and Rust notoriously uses the term “light year” as a measure of time rather than distance.
Life by Des’ree, generally considered the worst song ever.
[QUOTE=Original Lyrics]
I’m afraid of the dark,
'specially when I’m in a park
And there’s no-one else around,
Ooh, I get the shivers
I don’t want to see a ghost,
It’s a sight that I fear most
I’d rather have a piece of toast
And watch the evening news
[/QUOTE]
So clearly the song is about her fears and superstitions. Not sure why the chorus is “Life” instead of something about courage, but anyways. Using the same rhyming scheme and rhythm, here are my improvements.
[QUOTE=My Lyrics]
I’m afraid of the night,
All the beasts just out of sight,
Spirits reaching for the light,
Oh, my sleep is shaken
I fear visits from the dead,
Sense the chill that fills my head,
See them crying tears of red,
Their lives left behind
[/QUOTE]
Don McLean’s American Pie is a masterpiece, except for:
When the jester sang for the king and queen
In a coat he borrowed from James Dean.
The “jester” is Dylan, the “king” is Elvis, and the “coat” is the red windbreaker. But the “queen” has never been established, and I think McLean just took it for the rhyme. So to one-up him:
When the jester sang for the king and was seen
In a coat he borrowed from James Dean.
[There] isn’t any mountain high enough,
[There] isn’t any valley low enough,
[There] isn’t any river wide enough,
To keep me from you…
Journey’s - Don’t Stop Believin’
Strangers waiting
Up and down the boulevard
Their shadows searching in the night
Streetlight people
Living just to find emotion
Hiding somewhere in the night
I’d change the clunky 2nd ‘night’ to ‘in the light’ or ‘in plain sight’ or something.