This was not the worst winter I have ever been through, but it was still a New England winter, and that’s bad enough. One huge fucking blizzard, and two weeks straight of sub-zero temperatures. And last week it was quite cold with torrential downpours for the entire week. It is usually around this time of year that I consider moving to redneck country, for no other reason than the heat. I am really starting to loathe the weather here.
But alas, we caught a break this weekend. Sunday was up in the low 60s. Tuesday was nearly 70. And Monday? Low 80s. Glorious sunshine, forsythia blooming, trees budding, bunny rabbits hopping, rainbows and lollypops and girls in skimpy dresses and the whole nine yards. Glorious, loverly day.
So what does the weather anchor on the local FAUX affiliate say about the next day’s weather? “Finally, a break from the heat. Story at ten.”
Um, excuse me, FAUX? WHAT THE FUCK?!? A break from the mother fuckin’ heat? Are you stoned? We get one day of weather almost warm enough to be called comfortable and to you that is a fucking heat wave? Go back to Siberia, ya damn commie.
Does the local Fox affiliate have its own news team or do they use/work with another network’s affiliate? I ask because the last time I checked the local news from the Fox affiliate in Albuquerque basically used all the people and such from the NBC affiliate.
The Ministry of Weather is happy to report that through the wise leadership of Big Brother (and American Idol) the citizens of Americana have been granted sweet relief from the oppressive heat wave they had long suffered these many months, caused no doubt by the traitor Goldstein. Go outside and enjoy this newfound 40-degree weather, and rejoice in the blessings of our great and noble leaders.
Dammit, you can’t call Fox News “Faux News!” That’d make it Fo News! This is one of my pet peeves. It’s not that funny and it fucks with the pronunciation.
