Post favorite bits of dialog that got you laughing–from movies, TV, recorded comedy routines, wherever; try to keep them short; and if possible, don’t rely on four-letter words for the laughs…
CLAYTON: “I call [to the stand] the lovely Gretchen Kraus!”
BENSON “I object, Your Honor–counsel is deluding the witness!”
American History–II-B (The Smothers Brothers)
Tommy: This is a poem–written by one of America’s most beloved pomists.
Dickie: What did you say?
T: One of America’s most beloved pomists!
D: That isn’t right! You know the word isn’t “pomist”!
T: No, I don’t!
D: But I’m trying to give an introduction to a serious song! So why do you do that?
Tommy, if you don’t know the word, don’t speak up and make a fool of yourself, ask!
T: What is the word for someone who writes poems?
D: It’s a poet writer!
T: Poet writer? Boy, you’re as dumb as I am! It’s a good thing I didn’t say a couple of other words I had in mind!
D: All right. The word is “poet.” Now USE it!
T: This is a poem–serially. Written by one of America’s most beloved poets–the wonderful Jack Freeze.
T: Jack Frost!
Duets (Victor Borge with Leonid Hambro)
I don’t know if YOU [Hambro] know about it–but Mr. [Leonard] Bernstein won an award–for explaining the music of Igor Stravinsky–to Igor Stravinsky!