“Space. It seems to go on and on forever. But then you get to the end and a gorilla starts throwing barrels at you.” Fry, in the first episode.
Anything by Zapp Brannigan. He’s in a dead heat for my favorite character. It’s a three-way race. Zapp, Bender, and Morbo.
Bender: That’s no lady.
Robot Drag Queen: Damn, chico. One more upgrade and I’ll be more lady than you can handle. Why you so stupid, stupid?
Bender: Hey, bite my shiny metal ass.
Robot Drag Queen: You couldn’t afford it, honey.
And, from the Slurm Cola episode, regarding Soylent Cola:
Fry: How’s it taste?
Leela: It varies from person to person.
"If for any reason you’re not satisfied with our service, I hate you. "
“If you rule out every guy with a lizard tongue or a low IQ or an explosive violent temper, of course you’re going to be lonely.”
Captain Zapp Brannigan: As my protege you should know that the only way to deal with a female adversary is to seduce her.
[Kif groans]
Captain Zapp Brannigan: This time we are sure she’s a woman, right?
Kif Kroker: YES.
Bender: That plot makes perfect sense. Wink, wink.
Dr. Zoidberg: Bender, you said ‘wink, wink’ out loud.
Bender: No I didn’t. Raise middle finger.
Fry: It’s just like the story of the grasshopper and the octopus. All year long, the grasshopper kept burying acorns for the winter, while the octopus mooched off his girlfriend and watched TV. But then the winter came, and the grasshopper died, and the octopus ate all his acorns. And also he got a racecar. Is any of this getting through to you?
Zapp has to be my favourite character, though:
Zapp: It was almost the perfect crime, but you forgot the one thing: rock crushes scissors. But paper covers rock. And scissors cuts paper! Kif, we have a conundrum. Search them for paper. And bring me a rock.
Zapp: Wow, one day a man has everything…,then the following day he blows up a $40 billion space station, and the next day he has nothing. It really makes you think…
Kif: No it doesn’t.
Leela: You know Zapp, someone ought to teach you a lesson.
Zapp: If it’s a lesson in love, watch out! I suffer from a very sexy learning disability. What do I call it, Kif?
Kif: sigh “Sexlexia.”
Captain Zapp Brannigan: Just let me work for a little food. Perhaps I could paint a fence, or service you sexually, or mop the floor.
Leela: You don’t know how to do ANY of those things.
Captain Zapp Brannigan: Kif might!
Favourite episode has to be “The day the Earth stood stupid”:
Zoidberg: Zoiby want balloon! Want balloon now! Zoiby want go outside!
Fry: Grrr, I just let you back in!
When Mom has her robots take over the world her remote control has five buttons on it - Give Gifts - Tidy Up World - Rebel - Serve Man (Regular) - Serve Man (Ironic).
She also has a great line (that is a deleted scene) from IIRC, Raging Bender- She screams out “Make that bitch your bitch you bastard”.
While breaking into the Watergate to get Benders body back, bender is looking into rooms through the windows.
Bender: Hey, you two. Get a room.
Man: We’ve got a room.
Bender: Well, then lose some weight.
And of course-
Bender: Antiquing? I’m all right
I think my favorite episode has to be Parasites Lost, followed very closely by The Devil’s Hands are Idle Playthings… so basically any episode with holophoners in it is my favorite I really, really liked Luck of the Fryrish… didn’t know silly cartoons could make me emotional. As for funniest, the Raiders of the Lost Arcade in Anthology of Interest 2.
Fry: “I still got a trick or two up my sleeve! Watch, as I fire upwards through our own shield!”
Bender: “He’s a mad man… A maaaad maaaan!”
Fry: “Wait a second. I know that monkey! His name is ‘Donkey’.”
Professor: “Monkeys aren’t donkeys. Quit messing with my head!”
But I think my favorite quote is:
Farnsworth: “Hey! Unless this is a nude love-in… get the hell off my property!”
Free Waterfall Junior: “You can’t own property, man.”
Farnsworth: “I can. But that’s because I’m not a penniless hippie.”
Leela: “What do you people want?”
Free Waterfall Junior: “We’re with mankind for ethical animal treatment. Popplers are little creatures. You got to stop harvesting them for food.”
Bender: “Or what?”
Free Waterfall Junior: “Or we’ll boycott Fishy Joe’s.”
Leela: “You’re vegetarians. Who cares what you do?”
Free Waterfall Junior: “Shut up!”
Leela: “Animals eat other animals. It’s nature.”
Free Waterfall Junior: “No it isn’t. We taught a lion to eat tofu.”
Lion: coughpausecough
The scary thing is… when reading all these quotes here, in my head the sound exactly like in the shows…
My wife says that her favorite episode is “that one where they go to the beehive and it turns out that it’s not Fry who’s in a coma, but Leela.”
I think you already know this, but in case anyone else doesn’t know, that’s “The Sting”, which seems to be getting the most votes here for favorite episode.
I dig the MST3K references. The 3000 on the moon on the first episode was subtle. But the funniest was in “Raging Bender” (IIRC) when they’re in the movie theatre, Bender starts cracking jokes and the camera pans to a silhouette of very Tom and Crow-like robots saying “We’re trying to watch the movie, here!”
I thought it was one of the more “geek for the masses” jokes that most people who would regularly watch Futurama would get. From what I’ve heard from people who have listened to the commentaries, there are some very complex mathematical jokes that few without a degree in math or a related field would even notice, much less “get”.
Alien: “Whoa… That hippie’s starting to kick in… My hands are HUGE… and they can touch everything but themselves… whoooooaaaaa…”
Leela: I didn’t know ancient astronauts were so fat.
Fry: He wasn’t really an astronaut. He was just using space travel as a metaphor for beating his wife.
Heh, yeah, there’s only one thing I’m a stickler for and it’s Futurama, but I’ll try to refrain from being an ass any more. (Besides, most of you are doing much better. Maybe you’re checking your sources.)
More great quotes:
“Everyone’s a jerk. You, me, this jerk. That’s my philosphy.”
(I love that once cause I agree with it.)
Zoidberg: It just so happens I have degrees in Murderology AND Murderonomy!
Scruffy: I’m on break.
Nixon: I’ll sell out children’s organs to zoos, and I’ll go into people’s houses at night and wreck up the place!
Morbo: (His wife is adjusting his tie) It’s fine, it’s fine, I will destroy you.
Well, some of us are comfortable merely paraphrasing our quotes, knowing that the true Futurama cognoscenti will be able to fill in the blanks automatically.
I’m sorry you lack the confidence in your Futurama knowledge to be comfortable with less than perfect quotes.
I really, really liked Luck of the Fryrish… didn’t know silly cartoons could make me emotional. As for funniest, the Raiders of the Lost Arcade in Anthology of Interest 2.
