Favorite Futurama Quotes!

Cafe Society
1

I’m so sorry to talk so often about Futurama, but I think it’s the most clever cartoon ever made…

I’ll get the ball rolling with the BEST quote in the last episode of it’s first run. That’s right folks! It’s coming back, but you already knew that.
Fry: “That could be my beautiful soul sitting naked on a couch. If I could just learn to play this stupid thing.”
Bender: “Oh, but you can! (cue dramatic music) Though you may have to metaphorically make a deal with the devil. And by devil, I mean Robot Devil. And by metaphorically I mean get your coat.”

The bender/fry relationship in this episode is great.

2

Leela: What’s the mission?
Professor: Collecting honey. Ordinary honey.
Leela: That doesn’t sound so dangerous.
Professor: This is no ordinary honey!

3

Lelia: “You don’t have to seduce me! I’m still secuced from the last time!
Or” “I Blunk!” from when she was getting two eyes.
I’m just getting warmed up. What a great show with excellent writing!

4

Fry, you half-mad, half-insane maniac, be reasonable!

5

Amy Wong: " I used to be too cute, so I had cuteness reduction surgery here and here."

6

ALL GLORY TO… well, you know.

7

Fry : “Maybe the secret ingredient is . . . PEOPLE !”
Leela : “No, that’s Soylant Cola.”

Peasant Robot : “I choose to believe, what I was programmed to believe !”

8

How does it taste?
It varies from person to person.

9

“Computers may be twice as fast as they were in 1973…”

10

“Doomsday device? Aha, now the ball is in Farnsworths court. I suppose I could part with one and still be feared.”

Gotta love Professor Farnsworth.

11

Someone who has a better memory than me post my favorite. Fry was in robot jail and the crew comes to visit him. The professor says something like:

I’ve done my time in prison and I’m glad to say: It’s almost over!

But that’s not it exactly.

12

(My husband likes to walk around the house talking like Zap Brannigan, so hopefully I’ve got this quote close to what it is! )

Zap: “…I’ll have you know that I have a very sexy learning disablility. Kif! What do I call it?”

Kif: Sighs “Sexlexia.”

13

“Don’t worry, Fry. I, too, once spent a nightmarish time in a robot asylum … But now it’s nearly over.”

14

something along the lines of…
Professor: Fry, you idiot, don’t you realize that if you stay down here much longer that your body will adapt to the pressure and you’ll never be able to return to the surface?"
Fry: “Realize it? I don’t even understand it!”

Also from the same episode:

Fry: I can’t swallow that…
Professor: Well then GOOD NEWS! It’s a suppository!"

Professor: He may be suffering from ocean madness, but that’s no excuse for ocean rudeness!

15

WINDMILLS DO NOT WORK THAT WAY!!!

Amy Wong: [crying] We’re trying our best!
Bender: [yelling] Your best is an idiot!

Professor Hubert Farnsworth: Who are those horrible orange creatures over there?
Glurmo: Why, those are the Grunka-Lunkas. They work here in the Slurm factory.
Professor Hubert Farnsworth: Tell them I hate them.

Fry: That doesn’t look like an L, unless you count lowercase.
Bender: smacks Fry across the face with a look of utter disdain You know we don’t!

Fry: sighs wistfully I can’t wait 'til I’m old enough to feel ways about stuff.

And though it doesn’t lend itself well to simple quotation, one of the classic Bender moments is in the episode where they’re in a speeding bus sailing over a cliff and Bender heroically shouts,
‘‘I’ll save me!’’

Note to the OP: The ‘‘metaphorical deal with the devil’’ bit is one of the most oft-quoted in our household.

16

Fry: We can escape through this steam pipe!
Breaks open pipe
Fry: Oh no! It’s full of steam!

Zap: I came to you Leela, because you’re the only woman who has ever loved me.
Leela: I never loved you, Zap.
Zap: I meant physically.

17

From the episode with the Globetrotters, after the Globetrotters beat Farnsworth’s team

Leela: Now the whole universe will be cracking wise about our mamas!
Hermes: I’m just glad my fat, ugly mama isn’t alive to see this.
Professor: Enough about your promiscuous mother, Hermes! We have other problems.

Then, later in the same episode, where “Bubblegum” Tate helps them solve the mystery of the time skips and reveals that he’s senior lecturer of quantum physics at Globetrotter University:

Professor: You’re THAT “Bubblegum” Tate?

18

Similar to the episode with the tanker full of dark matter.
Professor: I’m sending you all on a very controversial mission.
Leela: Controversial?!?
Professor: Oh no, not at all!

19

I’m paraphrasing here- bad memory and all:

Someone: It gets down to 100 below here at night.
Someone else: Fahrenheit or Celsius?
Someone: First one, then the other.

20

“Sweet Zombie Jesus!” That is censored on Comedy Central

I love how the return of Jesus is treated like an offhand occurence

“Of course all the videotapes were destroyed with the return of Jesus in 2488”

The thing about Hermes’ promiscuous mother really had me in tears…" The Hermes Professor relationship is an often underdeveloped one, but can be really great! I love the time when Hermes wants to commit suicide by jumping off the Planet Express building…

Professor: “Stop hogging that liver and jump already!”
Bender: “Do a flip!”

Also this one is classic!

Farnsworth: Forget it, I’m not going! I have my reasons! Shut up all of you!

Hermes: Strange. You haven’t acted suspicious since I found those “ape bones” in the basement.