Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: Y’all got on this boat for different reasons, but y’all come to the same place. So now I’m asking more of you than I have before. Maybe all. Sure as I know anything, I know this - they will try again. Maybe on another world, maybe on this very ground swept clean. A year from now, ten? They’ll swing back to the belief that they can make people… better. And I do not hold to that. So no more runnin’. I aim to misbehave.
She was naked and articulate.
Buffy: Hey Ken, wanna see my impression of Gandhi?
WHAM!
**Lily: 
** Gandhi?
Buffy: Well, you know, if he was really pissed off.
Goin’ on a year now I ain’t had nothin’ twixt my nethers weren’t run on batteries!
…I’ll be in my bunk.
From* Angel*
After Darla escapes from Caritas Lounge beating up Gunn and Wesley …
Gunn : We tried to stop her by hitting her feet and fists with our faces but it didn’t work!
I gotta say Joss’s shows are responsible for a good bit of my favorite lines (Aaron Sorkin’s created a bunch too) but my all-time favorite bit of dialog is this scene:
Agent Coulson: We need you to come in.
Black Widow: [tied to a chair being interrogated] Are you kidding? I’m working.
Agent Coulson: This takes precedence.
Black Widow: I’m in the middle of an interrogation. This moron is giving me everything.
Georgi Luchkov: [to his cohorts] I don’t… give everything.
Black Widow: [gives Luchkov a skeptical look]
Steve Rogers: Stark, we need a plan of attack.
Tony Stark: I have a plan: attack!
Tony Stark: [to Thor] No hard feelings, Point Break. You’ve got a mean swing.
Steve Rogers: I wanna know why Loki let us take him. He’s not leading an army from here.
Bruce Banner: I don’t think we should be focusing on Loki. That guy’s brain is a bag full of cats. You can smell crazy on him.
Thor: Have a care how you speak! Loki is beyond reason, but he is of Asgard and he is my brother!
Natasha Romanoff: He killed eighty people in two days.
Thor: He’s adopted
Steve Rogers: Big man in a suit of armor. Take that off, what are you?
Tony Stark: Genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist.
Black Widow: [nodding]
Tony Stark: What’s the stat, Rogers?
Steve Rogers: [looks at the Helicarrier tech] It seems to be powered by some sort of electricity!
Tony Stark: …well, you’re not wrong.
Loki: How will your friends have time for me, when they’re so busy fighting you?
Loki: [Attempts to control Stark with the Scepter, fails] This usually works…
Tony Stark: Well, performance issues. It’s not uncommon, one out of five…
World Security Council: Director Fury, the council has made a decision.
Nick Fury: I recognise the council has made a decision, but given that it’s a stupid-ass decision, I’ve elected to ignore it.
Steve Rogers: Stark? We got him.
Tony Stark: Banner?
Steve Rogers: Just like you said.
Tony Stark: Then tell him to suit up… I’m bringing the party to you.
[Stark leads the monstrous Leviathan toward the Avengers]
Natasha Romanoff: I - I don’t see how that’s a party.
Steve Rogers: Dr. Banner, now might be a good time for you to get angry.
Bruce Banner: That’s my secret, Captain. I’m always angry. [metamorphises to Hulk]
{deleted scene}
Waitress: The table’s yours as long as you like. Nobody’s waiting on it. Plus we’ve got free wireless.
Steve Rogers: Radio?
Waitress: [gives Rogers a nice look over her shoulder as she walks away]
Stan Lee: [from the adjacent table] Ask for her number, you moron!
Whedon’s writing was never better than here, and it is consistent throughout the film. One of the most disappointing things about Age of Ultron was the almost complete lack of clever dialogue; the film could basically have been written by anyone. It was clear that Whedon was just exhausted and done with the Marvel Cinematic Universe at that point.
Stranger
Bruce Banner: ‘That’s probably not such a good idea. The last time I was in New York I broke…Harlem.’
Moist: I’m Moist. At my most badass, I make people want to take a shower.
Black Widow: This reminds me of Budapest.
Hawkeye: You and I remember Budapest very differently.
Oh, I forgot about that–that’s probably my favorite line in any superhero movie.
Captain, I’m a dangerously minded man on a ship loaded with hurt, now why you got me chattin’ wit yer peons?
Spike: I may be Love’s bitch, but at least I’m man enough to admit it.
Mayor Richard Wilkins III: There’s more than one way to skin a cat. And I happen to know that’s factually true.
I dunno. We had this.
Shit!
Language!
Is no one going to comment that the Cap just said “language”?
I know! It just slipped out.
And for gosh’s sake, watch your language!
That’s not going away anytime soon.
Outwit the platinum bastard.
Steve doesn’t like that kind of talk.
You know what Romanoff…
Steve, he said a bad language word!
Did you tell everyone about that?
Okay, look, the city is flying, we’re fighting an army of robots, and I have a bow and arrow. None of this makes sense. But I’m going back out there, 'cause it’s my job.
And this:
Steve Rogers: You get hurt, hurt 'em back. You get killed… walk it off.
Also, while it’s not much of a line, it got the biggest response in my theater:
“There may be no way to make you trust me…”
<casually hands the hammer to Thor>
“…but we need to go.”
My all time favorite sequence from Buffy. Unlike most of the ones reported previously its not a funny scene, but is possibly the most poignant scene I have every come across, its a testament to Joss’s Genius how he can slip it in to what is other wise a wonderfully cheesy action comedy show.
The setting: Buffy’s mom has just died of a stroke, Anya is a demon who got trapped in human form and is notorious for not understanding the niceties of human interaction.
Anya: Are they gonna cut the body open?
Willow: Oh my God! Would you just… stop talking? Just… shut your mouth. Please.
Anya: What am I doing?
Willow: How can you act like that?
Anya: Am I supposed to be changing my clothes a lot? I mean, is that the helpful thing to do?
Xander: Guys…
Willow: The way you behave…
Anya: Nobody will tell me.
Willow: Because it’s not okay for you to be asking these things.
Anya: But I don’t understand.
[begins to cry]
Anya: I don’t understand how this all happens. How we go through this. I mean, I knew her, and then she’s- There’s just a body, and I don’t understand why she just can’t get back in it and not be dead anymore. It’s stupid. It’s mortal and stupid. And-and Xander’s crying and not talking, and-and I was having fruit punch, and I thought, well, Joyce will never have any more fruit punch ever, and she’ll never have eggs, or yawn or brush her hair, not ever, and no one will explain to me why.
Nicely done. A great scene indeed. That whole episode is amazingly well done.
That really proves my point. Whedon took one mildly funny toss off line that was probably worth of a single callback and tried to turn it into a running gag about how Steve Rogers is so old fashioned. It’s tired and lazy; the kind of gag a lesser writer might have thought was funny enough to repeat. And this comes from the guy who kept the original Avengers consistently fresh despite the twenty minute battle scene, wrote/directed/produced Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog, and made one of the best film adaptations of a Shakespeare play in his backyard with a bunch of friends in their spare time.
Compared to those, or pretty much else Whedon has done, Age of Ultron is a real drug, and one that spends so much time setting up future plotlines it doesn’t bother to really address the implications of its own story. The best scenes are the characters lounging around at the after party before Ultron makes its appearance, and Ultron itself is just not that interesting of a villian, which is problematic since we are assured that it will defeated and Earth is not destroyed, nor will any of the major characters die since they all had to appear in Civil War. Tom Hiddleston’s acting and Whedon’s dialogue make Loki fun and lively even if he wasn’t especially threatening and we knew he’d lose, and the conflict between the characters was the real threat that the story had to overcome, the Chitauri notwithstanding.
Stranger
The line that made me know Buffy the TV series was going to be good:
Cordelia (To Willow): “So glad you’ve see the softer side of Sears.”
Oh, and Giles: “What was subtext is rapidly becoming text.” My husband and I say that one all the time.