Another good one from “Buffy:”
Buffy: " Wanna see my Ghandi impression?"
She them stomps in the head of a vampire, and someone questions her,
“Ghandi?”
“Well, yeah, if he were, like, all pissed off or something.”
Saint Eutychus
www.disneyshorts.org
News Flash!
There’s a new Simpsons book out which is the sequel to the Complete Guide from a couple of years ago. It’s chock full of quotable goodness!
Oh yeah, I love that line about “How many cameras were on you?” I use that all the time.
“Welcome to the Knowledgeum, I’m Troy McClure. You may remember me from such automated information kiosks as ‘Welcome to Springfield Airport’ and ‘Where’s Nordstrom?’”
“When I go, just stand me up next to the garbage with my hat on.” Lou Grant on MTM.
“At least we ain’t got locusts.” – Yemana on Barney Miller, one of my all-time favorite shows.
Catrandom
I love The Simpsons and the fact that nothing is a “scared cow” that they will not spoof. I’ve always liked heariing Jack Lord saying, “Book’em Dano” on Hawaii 5-0.
But my favorites come from MAS*H. One that always stands out is when Frank tells Hawkeye he has to carry a sidearm when they go to swap prisoners with the North Korens. And Hawkeye replies:
“I will not carry a gun, Frank. When I got into this war, I had a very clear understanding with The Pentagon, no guns. I’ll carry your books. I’ll carry a torch. I’ll carry a tune. I’ll carry on. Carry over. Carry forward. Cary Grant. Cash and carry. Carry be me back to Ol’ Viginia. I’ll even hari-kari if you show me how, but I will not carry a gun!”
“Quoth the Raven, ‘Nevermore.’”
E A Poe
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“Scared Cows” ?
That show gets stranger every day…
“Show me a sane man, and I will cure him for you.”----Jung
MAS*H:
Frank, to Margaret: “Funny thing, war. Never have so many suffered so much so that so few could be so happy.”
Charles, to the woman he thought he married while drunk: “What is your name?!”
Seinfeld:
Jerry to George: “Hold on, fugitive sex? I don’t have time for this, I’ve got to train for a cockfight.”
Drew Carey:
Drew to Kate: “I know Rachel Hunter like the back of my hand.”
Drew after telling his parents his girlfriend (Shirley Jones) is his maid: “Anyone around here want a penis? I know I won’t be using mine anymore.”
Fawlty Towers:
German guest: “She’s upset because you keep talking about the war.”
Basil: “Well you started it.”
Guest: “No we didn’t.”
Basil: “Yes you did, You invaded Poland.”
Cheers:
Frasier to Cliff after Cliff rambled on about something: “Hello in there, Cliff. Tell me, what color is the sky in your world?”
Norm, out of view: “I suppose that means the Coyote is the Anti-Christ!”
St. Elsewhere:
Mark Craig to his wife while visiting Philadelphia: “I was obnoxious and disliked.”
From the episode of Mary Tyler Moore, in which a fake news story Mary wrote got on the air and she was suspended; she wanted to come back:
Lou Grant: “Do you want a glass of water?”
Mary: “No, Mr. Grant (wailing) I just want to come back!”
Lou (to Murray) “What did you do to her?”
Later he tells Mary how bad things have been in thew WJM offices since she was suspended and concludes with:
“Somebody came in here last night–and broke all my pencil points!”
(from Laverne & Shirley, at the end where the restarant, owned by Lenny’s now deceased Uncle Lazlo and now adorned with a homeade sign of Lenny and Quiggy’s reading “Dead Lazol’s Place,” was failing, and Lenny and Squiggy were dickering with Frank DeFazio about sale terms):
Lenny: “Are you still gonna call it ‘Dead Lazlo’s Place’?”
Frank: “No!”
Lenny: “Good, I need the sign. Lazlo ain’t got no tombstone.” 
:D!!
“If you drive an automobile, please drive carefully–because I walk in my sleep.”–Victor Borge
Benny Hill:
Henry McGee: “I wish I’d never been born!”
Benny: “Well, you didn’t want to staty where you were, did you?” 
“Marijuana is the match,
Heroin is the fuse,
LSD is the bomb”
Sgt Joe Friday
I also like any Norm (Cheers) reply
The worst thing that can possibly happen is not be used for something by someone - Kurt Vonnegut
“Kimberly, you did blow this place up and to be honest with you nobody can get past that.”
(Matt, Melrose Place)
mmmmmmm…64 slices of american cheese
Or coach from Cheers"They used to call me Red"
Norm"Why because you had red hair?"
Coach"no, because I read a book once"
Basil Fawlty: “Don’t mention the war. I mentioned it once, but I think I got away with it.”
carla(to woody):we’re ordering from pizza pizza pizza. woody:what do they have there? carla:pizza you idiot woody:don’t get mad at me I’ve never ordered from there before I don’t know what they got…Cheers episode
“Life is what happens to you when you’re busy making other plans”-John Lennon 1980