Bud made a big deal about their beer having “drinkability,” and later put out a commercial where they explained the meaning of that claim since it sounded like they were touting the fact that their beer was a liquid.
Unsurpassed anything. “The strength of our product is unsurpassed.” “Our service is unsurpassed.”
Unsurpassed means nothing is better. It doesn’t mean nothing is just as good. There could be many other choices which are just as strong or have just as good service.
[quote=“Irishman, post:31, topic:587024”]
That’s not what they’re saying. What they are saying is “we are offering you xyz, so if you accept somebody else’s offer, you’re accepting less”.
That’s certainly what they want you to think they’re saying, i.e., “Anything ELSE is not enough”. But unless my eyes and ears aren’t working right, what they’re actually saying is, “anything LESS is not enough”… which, if you take the meaning literally, means what I said. I think that’s the point of a lot of the examples in this thread – things that sound like they say one thing, but, if you really stop and look at the exact literal meaning, actually say something quite different.
“Makes hair 10% more silky.”
That’s on the Univac Silkyometer I presume, measured against previous peer-reviewed benchmarks.
And one I really have not got to the bottom of yet:
“Reduces the appearance of wrinkles.”
How they look, or if they appear?
I believe Homer said it best:
“Aw, you can come up with statistics to prove anything, Kent. Forty percent of all people know that.”
The snack that smiles back - Goldfish!
That actually creeps me out.
:smack:
I have been seeing those boxes and wondering “why does this box bother me” - thanks for that.
The phrase “healthy-looking skin” always jumps out at me. The skin product won’t actually make you healthier or younger, but it will make your skin “healthy-looking”. There’s even a commercial for a shampoo that claims will it will give you “healthy-looking scalp”. My scalp isn’t even visible! I use shampoo to keep my hair looking good.
Quoth WhyNot:
Quoth Elendil’s Heir:
Of course things can be more or less unique. The word loses all meaning otherwise. As an example, every tree is a little different from every other tree, so if there’s only one degree of uniqueness, then we’re forced to say that all trees are unique. But a single gingko in the middle of a stand of thousands of oaks has a claim to be more unique than the oak that just happens to be the only one to have its first branching exactly 13.724 feet above the ground.
My contribution to the thread: Nestle’s Sweet Success. It’s the only diet plan that starts with Nestle, and ends with Sweet Success. Yeah, I get it: You have a trademark on your name. This is a big deal?
Pfft. 45.7% of all statistics are just made up.
I have a New Yorker cartoon with the caption “Three out of four doctors” and a drawing of the Marx Brothers in doctor gowns.
Mine is an oldie, for Old Milwaukee beer - Taste as great as it’s name
I don’t know about others, but I wouldn’t think the name “Old Milwaukee” tastes very good.
Women’s cosmetic-type products are terrible for this - “Moisturizer with Alloantoin 9!” “Hair conditioner with Dedoxynol!” They’re just making scientific-sounding shit up!
Some commercials getting up my nose right now are the ones where people say something like, “I’d like to stop paying my mortgage,” and some smartass walks by and says, “So stop paying your mortgage.” Piss off, m’kay?
There are also all the diet pills that say things like, “Helps you lose weight when combined with diet and exercise.” You know what else helps you lose weight? Diet and exercise.
The Gluten Free label is actually really helpful to my mom. She has migraines and one of the new things her doctor wants her to try to help them is to not eat gluten. She’s in her fifties and her whole life she has never had to worry about gluten before so there are a lot of items she is unsure of if she can have it or not. Obviously labeling an apple gluten free is fucking retarded but for things like cereal it’s great. Instead of her having to read the ingrediant list on all 500 different kinds of cereal she can just grab the box with the label on the front and be on her way.
Back in college I had a roommate who liked to buy those “soft batch” chocolate chip cookies. One day he came home from the store with a package of the cookies that said “20% more chips!” on the label. I said “You know what that means? You get 20% less cookie.” 
Some products are still offered in “regular strength”, I presume for the old people who remember when it was the only option 
Not quite a manufacturer’s fault, but once when I stopped at Walgreens while on vacation, I found an endcap with a laser-printed sign that said “Fight Plaque, Bad Breath, and the Evils of Gingivitis with Cetylpyridinium Chloride!”
I had to take a picture of it.
And nutritional supplements are the worst, but that’s because they have to be, legally. “Supports mental health!” “Promotes healthy circulation!”
You can’t even get strength anymore, it’s all extra strength. It’s as if consumers are saying, ‘find out what will kill me, then back off it a little.’
Well, all filtered beer is cold-filtered. There’s plenty of beer out there that isn’t filtered, though (Bell’s and Rogue being prime examples that immediately come to mind, as well a lot of Belgians and German weissbiers.)
“Nothing is better than X.” Check the emphasis here. NOTHING is better than our product. You’re better off just leaving it alone than smearing our crap over it.
“Your skills are second to none. No, that’s too modest. They are none.”
See post 38.