You’re right. I’m going to rewatch the movie so I can make my own flux capacitor and start traveling through time!
New Jersey: “What’s that watermelon doing there?”
Reno: “I’ll tell you later.”
I made up some mumbo-jumbo of my own, a 115-word short story:
As she sat there, sky-clad, and waited for the virticies formed by subetheric particles created by the interdimensional helix device (cleverly disguised as an antenna) to lift her spirit into the Other Realm for a quick confab with the Powers of Light and Air while her body remained conveniently located at the helix device it was tied to (left alone, it tended to wander off and have sex with strangers, creating endless difficulties with her husband) her ability to reach 12th level consciousness was considerably diminished by mundane concerns about a truck bearing the legend “Spagnoli Brothers Roofing” that she had seen pull up to the front of the building a few moments ago. Plus, it was raining.
One sentence, 115 words. I believe I am ready for the next Bulwer-Llyton contest.
That’s two sentences. You could replace the period with an emdash, like “…the front of the building a few moments ago–plus it was raining.”
Well, yes, but it’s easy to make it up yourself.
“Malkolm twisted the hard ether-knob counterwiddershins while his other hand firmly gripped the Sword Oracle of Mang-Hu-Chard. The eleventh prophecy was about to be fulfilled, and the Ninth Jumper watched in frustrated amazement as Malkolm proceeded down the Dark Path of Lost Time in the name of the Valiant Vra’al, reciting the Oath of Kaol.”
Comes with being a long-time Dungeonmaster.
I know. I’m a big fat liar.
Easy to do, hard to do well. The parenthetical content of my quote implies a pretty good story all by itself.
Oh, admittedly. If I could keep going in that vein, I’d have written a novel by now. If you can, more power to you.
Gandalf’s command to the Balrog on the Bridge of Kazad-Dum is a choice example:
But with enough digging through the appendices and encyclopedia of Arda 'n stuff, it’s all internally consistent and defined.
“Okay, Morta. The Enterprise computer system is controlled by three primary main processor cores, cross-linked with redundant melacortz-ramistat 14-kiloquad interface modules. The core element is based on an FTL nanoprocessor with 25 bilateral kelilactirals. With twenty of those being slaved into the primary Heisenfram terminals. Now, you know what a bilateral kelilactiral is?”
“Of course I do, Human. I am not stupid!”
“No. Of course not. This is the isopalavial interface which controls the main firomantal drive unit. Don’t touch that - you’ll blow up the entire firomantal drive.”
“Alright, wa…wa…Wait! Wha…what is a, a ferromactal drive? Just explain it to me!”
“That is the firomantal drive unit, it controls the ramistat core and keeps the ontarian manifold at 40,000 KRGs. The firomantal drive is powered by…”
Dihydrogen Monoxide (DHMO) is a colorless and odorless chemical compound, also referred to by some as Dihydrogen Oxide, Hydrogen Hydroxide, Hydronium Hydroxide, or simply Hydric acid. Its basis is the highly reactive hydroxyl radical, a species shown to mutate DNA, denature proteins, disrupt cell membranes, and chemically alter critical neurotransmitters. The atomic components of DHMO are found in a number of caustic, explosive and poisonous compounds such as Sulfuric Acid, Nitroglycerine and Ethyl Alcohol.
When you have that much densely packed mumbo-jumbo, people will say you’re all wet. Gotta space it out!
I read somewhere that comets contain large amounts of the deadly Dihydrogen Monoxide in solid form (due to the extreme low temperatures in Outer Space). If a comet were to strike the planet Earth it could release the toxic compound into our atmosphere!
My apologies to the OP for continuing the hijack but I really think people should know about this potential catastrophe.
I know of someone who fell into a pool of hydric acid at a party.
We had to fish him out with a net.
It was a sad sight to behold.
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One of the entries above reminded me of this:
The foolish Wallflower Order hadn’t learned a damn thing. They thought that by fumigating the Place Congo in the 1890s when people were doing the Bamboula the Chacta the Babouille the Counjaille the Juba the Congo and the VooDoo that this would put an end to it. That it was merely a fad. But they did not understand that the Jes Grew epidemic was unlike physical plagues. Actually, Jes Grew was an anti-plague. Some plagues caused the physical body to waste away; Jes Grew enlivened the host. Other plagues were accompanied by bad air (malaria). Jes Grew victims said that the air was as clear as they had ever seen it and that there was the aroma of roses and perfumes which had never before enticed their nostrils. Some plagues arise from decomposing animals, but Jes Grew is electric as life and is characterized by ebullience and ecstasy. Terrible plagues were due to the wrath of God; but Jes Grew is the delight of the gods.
—Ishmael Reed
I’d put that on my list of things to worry about, but I’m getting tired of imaginary numbers; they keep invading my dreams in a rudely unpleasant manner (unlike pi, which is an insightful and encouraging friend).
For pure, unadulterated jargon you cannot beat the Turbo Encabulator.
For an alluded incident that never gets explained, there’s a line from Lois McMaster Bujold’s Mirror Dance, where-in one of the major characters discusses the history of the planet Barrayar: “But it was one of the zoological high points of the Council’s varied political history, right up there with the infamous Incendiary Cat Plot.”
Oh, definitely. I love Conan Doyle’s throwaway references to Holmes’s as-yet-unrecorded other adventures: the repulsive story of the red leech and the terrible death of Crosby the banker, the famous Smith-Mortimer succession case, the loss of the British barque Sophy Anderson, the singular adventure of the Grice Patersons in the island of Uffa, etc. etc. etc. The British author June Thomson has written some great pastiches based on those and others.
Unfortunately, McKellen mispronounced it “Arnor,” which is an unrelated region of Middle-earth: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VlaiBeLrntQ
Also from Men in Black:
Jay: Why the big secret? People are smart. They can handle it.
Kay: A person is smart. People are dumb, panicky, dangerous animals and you know it. Fifteen hundred years ago everybody knew the Earth was the center of the universe. Five hundred years ago, everybody knew the Earth was flat, and fifteen minutes ago, you knew that humans were alone on this planet. Imagine what you’ll know tomorrow.
Mumbo-jumbo was kind of subverted in Looper:
“I don’t want to talk about time travel because if we start talking about it then we’re going to be here all day talking about it making diagrams with straws!”
“My advice in making sense of temporal paradoxes is simple: Don’t even try.” - Capt. Kathryn Janeway