Verbatim:
Elaine: “Calling up strangers I barely know and demanding they return expensive gifts. That’s my thing.”
Jerry: Pause “Yeah, yeah, that’s your thing”
I just love how Jerry delivers his line.
Actually, it’s “Puddy”, played by Patrick Warburton. He’s possibly my favorite character on that series along with Peterman and Newman.
Another favorite line by J. Peterman: “Woof.”
Elayne: Don’t you mean “Reowr?”
JP: “Yes, yes, that’s the one!”
The thing that worked so well on the show is they deliberately never introduced any pathos or romance or drama. I think I remember Jerry on some talk show back then saying the show would never be anything but comedy, and those characters would never be objectively likable. That’s what made it so good (unless, of course, you’re one of those who found the characters’ character offputting).
One of my favorites: George’s “That’s gotta hurt!” I also love the way Jerry’s response to any bad news, no matter how trivial or tragic, is usually a deadpan, dismissive, “That’s a shame.”
By the way, the call backs to Seinfeld from other shows is still going on. Recently, on the new show Glee, one of the cheerleaders called the Glee Club chick “Man Hands”. Now, that was funny.
“Who hasn’t slipped into the supply closet to nibble on a love newton?”
One of my favorite episodes is the one where one of Jerry’s old childhood friends from summer camp (the “summer George”) gives Jerry a van. George is “dating” his own cousin because his parents aren’t paying him enough attention and he devises a scheme to have them “catch” him and his cousin making out in Jerry’s van in Central Park. Jerry’s friend is in the park (upset because Jerry doesn’t like the van) and sees the van and starts yelling “Seinfeld’s van!” George mishears this as “Son of Sam” and flees from the van and into the night yelling, “I knew it wasn’t Berkowitz!”
Later, George’s parents arrive at the van, but there is no one there. They get in the van and are in the throes of passion when George, Jerry, and Jerry’s friend return. George approaches the van, saying “That van’s a’rockin’.” To which Jerry replies, “Don’t go a’knockin’!” George throws open the van door to the sight of his parents having sex. “Oh my God!”
Jerry’s friend, “You gotta sell this van.”
This episode also featured Kramer trying to cancel his mail permanently, leading to dire warnings from Newman that the postal service is more powerful than he knows. (Kramer: “You said it would happen exactly like this. You said it would be a mailman I know, and YOU’RE A MAILMAN I KNOW!”) Wilford Brimley has a great appearance as the scary postmaster general.
It’s also the episode where Elaine is dating The Wiz. “I’m the Wiz, and nooobody beats me!”
George: (peering into bag):“there’s no bread”
Jerry: (hissing)“let it go, George”
George: “how come I don’t get bread?”
Attendent: (snatches bag back):“No soup for you, six months!”
GEORGE: You see that woman on the horse? (points)
Ruthie Cohen is passing by on horseback.
GEORGE: She stole twenty dollars from me. (getting angry) Yeah, I might’ve
gotten it back, but Lloyd Braun interfered!
DEENA: So, you want my father to pay for this?
GEORGE: You saw him. He was fiddling with the engine. God knows what he did
there.
DEENA: And I suppose Lloyd Braun had something to do with it too.
GEORGE: No, not Lloyd Braun. But the cashier.
DEENA: What cashier?
GEORGE: You remember the woman on the horse? She wanted my spot.
DEENA: To park her horse?
GEORGE: No, she wasn’t on the horse.
DEENA: So, your car caught fire because of my father and the woman on the horse?
GEORGE: That’s right.
Across the street, the florist is outside his store, arranging flowers.
GEORGE: (points) And him!
DEENA: The man with the flowers?
GEORGE: Yeah, yeah, the flower guy. Listen, I know this all sounds a little
crazy, but…
A car pulls up beside George and Deena. George looks in the window.
GEORGE: I can’t believe it. Look, that’s Jerry Seinfeld.
DEENA: Who?
GEORGE: Jerry Seinfeld. My best friend. He can explain all of this. (calls to
Jerry) Jerry.
Jerry hears his name called and turns his head, but all he can see are blurry
colored shapes.
GEORGE: Jerry! Over here Jerry. It’s me!
The car pulls away, leaving George calling after it.
GEORGE: Jerry, where y’going? It’s… what’re…
DEENA: (doubtful) That was your best friend?
GEORGE: Yeah, yeah, but he doesn’t wear glasses.
DEENA: That man was wearing glasses.
GEORGE: I know. Don’t you see. (emphatic) He was doing it to fool Lloyd Braun!
Jerry : If every instinct you have is wrong, then the opposite would have to be right.
George : Yes, I will do the opposite. I used to sit here and do nothing, and regret it for the rest of the day, so now I will do the opposite, and I will do
something!
( He goes over to the woman )
George : Excuse me, I couldn’t help but notice that you were looking in my direction.
Victoria : Oh, yes I was, you just ordered the same exact lunch as me.
( G takes a deep breath )
George : My name is George. I’m unemployed and I live with my parents.
Victoria : I’m Victoria. Hi.
Here we go, YouTube recommended this video after I watched your link. Great stuff 
Who?! Who doesn’t want to wear the rrribbon??!!
[SIZE=“1”]By the way, not as loud and with less attitude, but that’s exactly my accent.[/SIZE]
A couple of diner scenes, just Jerry and George present:
George: I’m just thinkin’ out loud.
Jerry: I don’t think you are.
next one -
George: I’m very sensitive to all human pain.
Jerry: Are you feeling anything right now?
These are paraphrased from aging memory.
“But I don’t wanna be a pirate!”
From the Bubble Boy episode (one of the best ever), when BB’s dad (Brian Doyle-Murray) finds Jerry and Elaine at the diner and tries to persuade Jerry to stop by for a visit as an act of charity. He gets weepy talking about his son and grabs a napkin to dab his eyes. Elaine starts getting teary-eyed herself and does the same, and hands a napkin to Jerry. He’s completely uninterested in the man’s sob story and mindlessly wipes his lips with the napkin Elaine gives him. That look of callous indifference on his face kills me.
Later in the episode I about passed out laughing when George accidentally popped the bubble.
I agree with the OP – Seinfeld is just one of those shows that still manages to make me laugh even though I’ve seen these episodes many times.
One not mentioned that still cracks me up is the one with Elaine and the saxophone player. He’s the guy who “doesn’t do everything…” who decides right before an important show to add to his “repertoire”.
The horrible sax playing that occurs when he and Elaine are back from their tryst just slays me every time I see (hear?) it.
KRAMER: “Then everybody is screamin,’ because the driver, he’s passed out from all the commotion…the bus is out of control! So, I grab him by the collar, I take him out of the seat, I get behind the wheel and now I’m drivin’ the bus.”
GEORGE: “You’re Batman!”
KRAMER: “Yeah. Yeah, I am Batman. Then the mugger, he comes to, and he starts chokin’ me! So I’m fightin’ him off with one hand and I kept drivin’ the bus with the other, y’know? Then I managed to open up the door, and I kicked him out the door with my foot, you know, at the next stop.”
JERRY: “You kept making all the stops!?”
KRAMER: “Well people kept ringing the bell!!!”
This is from the episode “The Bris”. Kramer spots a pig-man (“he was just a fat little mental patient!”) and George’s car is damaged from a suicide jumper off the top of the hospital
This scene gets me every time. 
From the moment George tries to put up his fake personable schitck on the hospital administrator (he gives a warm smile and briefly touches her hand as she corrects him on the name) to the deliberate, slow, torturous, but hilarious way he tries to reason that that hospital should pay him, to his almost embarassed way he admits the estimate is a little high and the way he still tries to leave the paper with her…it floors me :D:D:D
Just because it seems appropriate, one from the episode that was just on -
ELAINE: I was just giving her the straight dope.
JERRY: Yeah, more like a dope giving it straight.
The expressions on George and Jerry’s faces as Kramer told this story, complete with miming driving a bus, were hilarious.
Reminds me of a Next Generation episode with Q:
[Worf voice]
Captain, <removing hat> I must protest. I am NOT a Merry Man.
[/voice]
