I kinda watched the 1st half of Scream 3 the other day, and was reminded why I dislike horror movies.
Who, specifically, came up with the plot that involved characters holding a giant sign above their heads that said “Kill Me!, I’m Dumb!” I mean, these characters had a stupid streak a mile long. It was embarrasing. I could almost see them joking about how they were going to walk off alone and unprotected so the killer could get them.
Other contrivances:
The guns that mysteriously run out of bullets every time they’re pointed at the villain.
The glass that was visibly deforming under the punches of the girl, but was mysteriously unnoticable on the other side.
So, what’s your favorite stupid horror movie scenes, and why?
Oh my Og, there are so many![ul]
[li]The eventual victim who runs through the woods and trips over a log, tree root, rock, whatever. Saw that one on the Animal Planet special on “The Killer Shrews” last night.[/li][li]The character (usually male) who says to his companion (usually female)“You stay here, I’ll check it out”; the companion then ignores his advice and goes off on her own and gets whacked.[/li][li]Anyone who hears a strange sound and says, “Who’s there?”[/li][li]Follow-up to the first item on my list–that same person then says “Go on without me!”[/li][/ul]
1.) “The three of us are going to look over here. You go over there, where it’s dark.”
They pulled that one in Alien More than once. I still can’t believe there are people who thibnk that’s a good movie.
2.) (Thinks to self) She’ll get all worried if I tell her about the Monster. Better not to tell her. She’ll be safe here. Especially if we give her a sedative.
Guess what happens next. Filmmakers lose me completely when they deliberately set up these situations. I keep wanting the Monster to get the well-meanmng stupid guy. But they never do.
3,.) “Well, that scheme didn’t work that time because of a minor glitch. I guess we’d better not ever try it again. Better to uswe some hare-brainmed scheme instead to get the Killer/Monster/Whatever.”
smiling bandit, you realize that the whole Scream series is meant to be parody of 1980’s style horror movies don’t you. The Scream movies have plot points like that put in on purpose to make fun of the originals.
Well, the first time they pulled that, the Alien had been the size of a small snake. Not the kind of thing you’re expecting to drop out of the ceiling and kill you.
And later on, it’s the two(Parker and Lambert) that are together who get killed.
Of course. But Scream 3 didn’t even try to make halfway scary. There’re so many phoned-in performances that it’s a wonder anyone was actually on the set.
What are some more specific scenes that ya’all think of for classic movie monsters?
<Bang bang bang> “Okay, the killer’s dead. I’m too scared to make sure he’s really dead. I shot him, though, so he’s dead. I’ll help untie my friends.” <Unties friends and turns around> “Oh, looky here, he’s gone!”
Way back in the 80s, as part of his stand-up routine , Eddie Murphy did a bit about horror movies to demonstrate how black people are smarter than white people:
(paraphrasing) “You never see horror movies about black families moving into a haunted house. That’s cause they’re not stupid enough! Take the Amityville Horror: the white family are checking out the house and say 'This is a great house! It’s in our price range, in a nice part of town, close to a good school (GET!!!OUT!!!) Let’s go to bed. If it’d been a black family it’d go like this: “Nice house, affordable, got a dock on the water (GET!!!OUT!!!)Too bad we can’t stay!” Or in Poltergeist, the little white girl gets sucked into the t.v. – she was only five years old, they couldn’t have been that attached to her!”
“Why does every abandoned house have a cat that likes to introduce itself by sneaking up on me, then at the last second jumping from a high place onto my shoulder and meowing at the top of its lungs?”
“My friends and I are creeping around investigating a strange noise. Now would be a good time for me to start walking backwards without looking behind me until I actually turn around.”
“My friends and I are creeping around investigating a strange noise. Now would be a good time for me to sneak up behind my friend and grab him on the shoulder, rather than just getting his attention normally.”
Just about any scene from Act III of the hilarious Trilogy of Terror (does anyone remember the first two Duets of Terror?).
First off, Karen Black gets this Zuni Devil Doll, puts it down on the coffee table and right away its necklace falls off, bringing it to life. Now, the “Congratulations, You’ve Bought a Zuni Devil Doll” owner’s manual mentions that if the necklace falls off, the Devil Doll will come to life and chase you around your apartment going Yanni Yanni Yanni and stab you to death with its teeny tiny little spear. This cannot be the only time this has happened; Zuni Devil Dolls had to be coming to life all over the place. I imagine the Zuni Devil Doll factory customer service helpline got a lot of testy phone calls about this.
So, what does Karen Black do when the Zuni Devil Doll comes to life? Does she drop-kick the little bastard out the window, or lock him in the bathrom and stroll out for take-out Chinese? No, she runs around and around and around her apartment in ever-decreasing circles till the teeny tiny little guy finally sets on her and—in some fashion not specified in the Zuni Devil Doll owner’s manual—bites her and turns her into a great big Zuni Devil Doll.
It’s enough to make you lose faith in the ABC Movie of the Week.
*Exceedingly bouncy camper/co-ed/cheerleader runs from weapon wielding psycho.
*Psycho follows at slow, creepy walking pace.
*Bouncy female continues to run at top speed directly away from aforementioned psycho.
*Psycho activates FTL drive.
*Bouncy meatsack runs into psycho.
*Penis ensues.
I guess you can’t show a masked maniac tearing ass through a forest. It’s just so … gauche.
I love the scene in Night of the Creeps in which a cop announces to a bunch of sorority sisters that their boyfriends (who have become zombies as a result of brain parasites) have arrived.
Cop: Well, girls, the good news is your dates are here.
Long violin crescendos that end on victim flinging open cupboard/whipping open curtain/pulling door back. Oh my god! There’s nothing there! But, as you’re taking a sigh of relief – the killer appears!
I can’t actually recall any movie where the killer strikes in cue with the crescendo. That would actually be more shocking.
To be specific, my personal favorite scene is when Kevin Bacon gets the spear shoved through his neck from under his bed in Friday the 13th. Only because I met the guy who handled the spear during the filming of the scene. Tom Savini was controlling the blood.