I don’t like weiner, it makes me think of weiner germany, and all the hyperinflation and undercurrents of fascism that one tends to associate with that. Quite enamored with ‘one eyed milkman’. A bit crude, though.
Of course “member” is lame, RahRahMah. I can only speak for myself, but the correct term is “Prominent member.” 
Willy and the Boys works for me.
Schwanz
The Bishop
Oh my god that thing’s HUGE.
My Credentials*
*with thanks to Spogga
the heat-seeking moisture missle
Little Sequoia
Manroot… it gets me a smile or chuckle everytime.
In my bedroom, it’s c**k or nothing. Otherwise, in my old line of work (adult retail) I kept it professional with a “penis” for the customers (you REALLY don’t want your customers thinking you’re trying to come on to them by using graphic language, ahem… cough stalkers cough).
In conversation (depending upon my audience), I’d use penis or dick or even c**k if I was talking to my boyfriend (for some reason he likes me saying it).
Tallywacker
I had a friend whose ex-girlfriend called his “Fluffy”.
“What do you call your male appendage?”
I call him darling, honey, sweetie, or even just Nick, his given name.
Scrotumpole