FB friend request - who are you??

I tried to search for this topic and literally got nothing but a white page, so if it’s been discussed recently, I apologize for missing it.

When I logged on to FB this morning, there was a friend request from someone I didn’t recognize living in a place where I don’t know anyone IRL. This person didn’t have an open profile, so I couldn’t look at his friend list to figure out if we’ve got a connection. My FB is set for Friends Only, and I’ve got to assume that this guy, for whatever reason, searched on my name and decided to send a request.

I considered messaging him back to ask him why he wanted to friend me, trying to figure out a way to word it that didn’t come across as to snarky or nasty, but ultimately, I decided it’s not worth it. I don’t know who he is - didn’t recognize either his name or his face - and I can’t have just anybody knowing when I do my laundry. (Yeah, my FB posts are that scintillating.) I just declined the request.

Maybe he thought I was someone else, altho my photo is clearly me. Maybe he decided to try to friend as many folks who share my name - odd possibility. Maybe I’m making more of this than I should. Yeah, I’m bored. Why do you ask?

In conclusion: how do you deal with friend requests from unknowns? Accept, and perhaps later reject? Message and ask why? Ignore and move on with life? Make pointless posts on message boards?? C’mon, spill!!

Deny deny deny

I just send a message along the lines of “Hi! Do we know each other? I got your friend request, but I can’t place your name”. If they don’t answer within a few days, I delete the request.

I get this occasionally, usually from users with a scantily clad woman profile picture. These are almost certainly scams, I think, though who knows what the angle is.

My thinking is that these are accidents from people using touchscreens.

I just delete them, I figure if they have a pressing reason for wanting me to accept THEY can message ME and tell me why.

My assumption is the majority of unknown friend requests I get are scams or at least weirdos. Several have been people I did have a mutual friend with who were aggressively promoting a business or band.

However I have accidentally sent at least one friend request and maybe more just from a slip of the mouse when Facebook pops up those “People You May Know” features and it would be even easier to do that when looking at Facebook on phone or tablet with touchscreen.

I’ll send FB friend requests to SDMBers often and send them a message with who I am after they accept (if they do, that is), because if you send them one before then, it will go into their “other” or “message requests” folder, which most people don’t ever check or see.

Anyway, if the request is from Chris Nealon, that’s me…heh. I haven’t sent any FRs out for at least a week or two, though.

Consequently, if anyone would like to add me first, here you go.

I have accidently sent requests on my phone. I suppose I hit their name when reading replies. And sometimes they will accept it.

You’re already on my list, which isn’t the same as The List. :smiley:

The other thing that I found weird about this particular request - all he had on his page were 3 selfies. Nothing else - no comments, no thoughts, no musing, no glurge. I guess it was spam rather than someone who saw my photo and found me irresistible. :cool:

Ha, I thought that might be the case. I think I’m friends with most (or at least half) of the SDMB on FB. : p

Hope you figure it out. If it was me, I’d send them a message asking them, like others have said here and then delete if no answer comes.

I just accept their request and then check their profile. If I don’t see anything of interest I unfriend them. Sometimes people have their accounts pretty locked down so only once you are friends can you see what is on their wall. If they are a spam account I report and block them.

I’m pretty sure FB has changed (yet again) the message box so that now Other messages actually show up with a notification instead of being hidden.

I don’t accept requests from people unless I know who they are. As someone else said, if it’s important they’ll message me. I get a lot of requests from hiking websites that I’m active on and most of them I just ignore or deny.

I had to accept one just this morning because she’s my wife’s friend and I don’t want to offend her. But I also don’t want to encourage a friendship with them as a couple, as her husband is more boring than sawdust. Honestly, he says ‘hello’ and I doze off on my feet. Luckily, they don’t live nearby.

My BIL’s stepdaughter and her daughter both sent me friend requests. I accepted, but as soon as I realized their politics are waaaaaaaaaaaay to the right, I unfollowed them both. So they can see what I post if they want, but I don’t have to see their stuff. It maintains family peace as well as my sanity. Win-win! :smiley:

If there’s almost no information in the profile , then I ignore the request. I’m part of quite a few Facebook groups and I’m sure these people would just spam the group. I will occasionally friend people i don’t know in real life , usually if they’re active in one of my Facebook groups and it seems we have things in common

I decline requests sometimes from people I DO know. I keep my friend list highly curated to people I care about reading about.

One time I accepted a request from a woman who said she always liked my comments on our mutual friend’s posts so the thought I’d be a cool chick to friend. But I ended up not liking whatever she posted on her wall. I think it was a bunch of “trying too hard to be quirky” stuff. Anyway, I eventually un-friended her.

I got a request from a FOAF yesterday that I didn’t know at all. I just declined it. There’s really no reason to let people in that you don’t know!!

I’m so old-fashioned that I:

a. —
b. ----



lll1a: Have NEVER uploaded a pic of ANY person to ANY site. Doing so triggers a huge WTF!!??

I am now beginning to realize the enormity of the ‘Crack the iPhone’ case: People seem to have recorded the very essence of themselves and their lives to those silly things.

Who I am, what I look like, everything I’ve seen, everywhere I’ve gone, who my IRL friends are, what THEY look like and, of course, date/time stamps on everything.

How did we get here?

and - next up - a mechanical bird which follows you everywhere and takes the selfies for you.

(you really can’t make this shit up. and that is both sad and scary)

Yeah, young women whose friends list is almost entriely male, quite international, all recently added, whose only activity on FB usually is to have recently put up a new profile pic. I don’t get it either, but I seldom decline outright but simply leave them in limbo, on the off-off-offchance that they do somehow prove to be legit. It is also rather flattering to be one of the first two or three persons in all the world who Bangkok bikini babe wants to be friends with.

I accept most requests, and then just hide their posts if they don’t interest me. I have about 30 FB friends and only see posts from about half of them.